Force of Nature
by iheartShules
Summary: Joss goes on her first vacation in years to do some quiet soul searching but fate-or a blizzard from hell-has other plans for her. ::AU:: Careese, of course! I won't blame anyone for wanting to kill my muse but it can't help but think these little things up for these two! Oh, and the rating will go up because I adore writing smut :D
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: I wanted to begin posting before the New Year but I just didn't have time to focus on it. So I guess a little late is better than never, right?  
**_

 _ **About this story: it's definitely AU! The rating will be going up :D  
**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. I just love Joss and John a tad too much.**_

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It had begun snowing much sooner than the forecaster had predicted but Joss wasn't going to let several inches of snow, gusty wind, and record-breaking cold keep her from her mini vacation. Not the first one in forever and certainly not for the first one since her long year of rehab after the near fatal gunshot she caught from a suspect she was chasing down. And she had finally stopped throwing her mini pity party over the loss of her career. She had been forced to medically retire and while she loved being a cop: others weren't as lucky as her. Others were buried in the ground while she was alive and she got to be with her son. See her son grow up, go to college, get married, and turn into a fine man and perhaps even become a grandmother. Joss stubbornly held onto that thought whenever she felt depressed or after horrifying nightmares that she died that night would wake up her in terror. She was alive and had the scars to prove it.

With her home paid off and the pension coming in and money she had saved in the bank for the last several years; she'd be okay. But she needed to figure out what to do with herself now that she was retired because she was gonna go out of her mind. Maybe she could take some online courses and educate herself on things she always wanted to learn. But first things first: she was going to enjoy this much needed and much deserved vacation.

Joss looked at her GPS quickly and couldn't wait to get to the cabin she rented in the Catskills of New York. She had already been on the road for over three hours; first on the interstate, and now she was on side roads going slowly because of the slick and hazardous conditions. She should have known that the forecaster was lying when he said there would be clear blue skies until about six tonight, because this snowstorm falling right now was nothing short of a blizzard.

The meteorologist was projecting anywhere from 6 inches to 2 feet depending on where you were. Manhattan had been on the low end of that projection; while the middle and upper parts of New York where she was currently at had the bulls-eye of the storm. But she had braved white-out conditions and the brutal cold thus far, she wasn't turning around now.

She looked at her GPS as it told her to turn at the next street. "Easier said than done," she muttered to the contraption as she squinted trying to see through the rapidly falling snow as her windshield wipers were going full blast and still snow layered it.

Joss cut off the radio about a half hour ago when she got nothing but static, preferring silence to concentrate on the treacherous road conditions as she felt her hands tighten reflectively on the wheel in nerves. She didn't particularly like driving in snowy or icy conditions but it was one of the miseries of New York's winters that you just had to muster through.

She found the street sign and took the turn very slowly because the road was a blanket of snow. At least six or maybe seven inches of snow was covering this road already and the snow showed no signs of slowing down anytime soon. Where was the road crew? But then she already knew the answer: not here. The county trucks took care of freeways and expressways first, then the next biggest roads were followed thereafter. Minor roads like this one and subdivision streets were last on the list.

The GPS claimed that she had another ten to fifteen minutes to go which would certainly be doubled or tripled with these conditions but it wasn't as if she needed to be at the cabin at any particular time. It was already paid for. She could arrive there in another four hours; safe and sound, and could start her vacation then. And with it being December 30th she beat out the holiday traffic for New Year's. She already made her mind up on what her New Year's resolution was going to be: do something for herself in 2017. What that 'something' was she really didn't have a clue but it would be something that made her happy. Her girlfriends suggested she find a man, or have a fling, but the only man she needed in her life was her son. And with him spending Christmas Eve and Day with her, that meant Paul got him New Year's Eve and Day. It was a tradeoff that worked well for her and Paul, they certainly weren't friends after everything that happened between them but they weren't enemies either.

Joss grimaced, she was going only 25 mph on this snow packed road and she was having a lot of trouble at keeping her car on the road and go up the small hill she approached. She focused and grew tense as she got to the peak of the hill after pressing a little harder on the gas pedal to reach that, going a bit faster than she wanted to mount the not so steep hill, but in these conditions, an ant hill would nearly be too much. Joss tried to slow her rate of speed down as she began the descent but when she pressed her foot on the brake nothing happened. Her car's tires tenuous grasp on the snowy road beneath it was lost and all she could do was slide down the hill trying to pump the brakes to slow the descent and hope she wouldn't go right into the ditch at the bottom of the hill. She tried to steer herself away from it; as she was sliding sideways directly for the ditch, but it was useless with no friction with the tires and the road she may as well be in a driverless car.

Joss grunted as her car came to an abrupt stop in the ditch on the side of the road at the bottom of the hill. "Just great," she growled as her hands shook from tension and a touch of fear, clutching the wheel tight in her gloved hands. She relaxed her grip and slammed her gearshift into park.

She sat for a moment in her car and debated what to do. Joss tugged her cell phone out of her pocket and groaned. It was dead. Of course her battery was dead; she'd been on the road a lot longer than she anticipated and this was her luck today! She didn't even reach the small town of Meredith as she just entered the outer limits. Her cabin was in East Meredith and she had passed the town of Delhi about seven miles ago but in these conditions that was like a half hour ago.

Joss leaned her head back against the head-rest in agitation. Now what? She couldn't hike back in this snowstorm; the wind was whipping and shaking her stationary car, howling louder than a wolf's howl. She shivered from just the thought of trying to walk in this wind and these frigid temperatures. Not to mention the snow was coming down at an alarming rate.

Well she couldn't stay here. She only had so much gas to keep the car warm. And it was only one in the afternoon; so there was no food either, or bathroom breaks.

Joss looked out her car's windows, seeing a sea of white and barren trees with leafless branches that moved viciously from the wind. But her eyes fell on a big house in the distance, sitting up on another hill. It was this house's ditch she was currently occupying. Joss looked from the house to up the long winding road that she attempted to drive that was snow covered and didn't see another mailbox as far as she could see, which wasn't far as visibility was getting worse and worse as the snow came down faster. Her eyes slid back to the large looming house; it was at least a half mile hike up the driveway. The place was set far back in the woods. But a half mile was better than seven.

She cut the engine to her car and forced the door open and at the angle she was at made it very difficult and used quite a bit of her strength. The wind was trying to push the door closed, along with the angle of how her car slid into the ditch, so she was breathing heavily with exertion just to climb out of her car. Joss let out a yelp of pain as her ankle rolled as she landed wrong. She bit back a curse as she slammed the door shut, blaming her woes on the car. She kept a hand on the car to prop her up as she held her ankle in her hand. Her other foot was already cold as flats weren't a good choice for snow shoes and her foot were enveloped in snow up to her shin just below the knees.

After a few moments she lowered her foot down very gingerly as she cinched her black wool peacoat tighter around her, flipped the collar up and climbed out of the ditch. Climbing out of the ditch wasn't very easy with a bum ankle and wind picking up, but she managed and she thrust her gloved hands into her pockets as she shivered and proceeded to high-step through the snow awkwardly as her ankle hurt. The driveway wasn't plowed so it didn't help but whoever lived here wasn't insane to be out in this weather like she was.

By the time she got halfway up the driveway she was freezing. Her shins and feet were numb which might be a blessing since her ankle hurt like a bitch; her teeth were chattering nonstop with the snow pelting her in the face and the wind blowing fiercely. She shook as she glanced up at the house that she was approaching. It was large and dark bricked. It almost looked spooky in the setting.

She eyed the large two story home on the hill in front of her. "Naturally I have to spin out in front of Dracula's castle," Joss muttered to herself. But at least it looked warm. She prayed someone was home. There weren't any cars parked outside but then that didn't mean anything, the place did have a huge attached garage.

Joss felt like an icicle by the time she reached the large front porch. She barely could move her hand from inside the pocket and lift her arm to knock on the dark hardwood polished door before her. Please, please, please let someone be home.

It took a few minutes before she heard the door being unlocked and she tried to smile but she wasn't sure if she managed it since her face felt frozen in place. But the door opened and she came face to face with a man.

"Can I help you?" he asked gruffly, softly, gravelly.

Joss was freezing; she felt the warmth spilling out of his home. "S-sorry to b-bother you b-but my c-car spun o-out in f-front of y-your place a-and m-my p-phone's b-battery is d-dead," she tried to explain through chattering teeth as she held out her phone to help illustrate her plight.

He exhaled roughly as he pushed away from the door, before holding it open for her. "Come in before you freeze to death," he commanded shortly, obviously used to being in charge.

Joss didn't need to be told twice as she entered his foyer and he slid the door shut behind her, silencing the howling wind enveloping her in warmth. She stood on the rug in front of the doorway and bent to rub off the clumps of snow that clung to her jeans and soaking wet flats. She winced as she saw her right ankle as it was beginning to balloon out. Well she sort of iced it, darn it. Joss shivered as her body tried to warm itself as she took a quick look around the foyer; grateful for the distraction from how cold she was. This was some nice place he had. The outside could use some work but the inside looked a million times better with the foyer looking very contemporary and modern. Nice staircase with a hallway behind it that lead to what appeared to be the kitchen. Off to her right she could hear a murmuring coming from the room there.

"Nice place," she said offhandedly and she soon realized it wasn't just her and the man alone. Because sitting in an entryway of the room off to her right; was a beautiful dog. It was big and wagging its tail at her. Joss smiled. "Who's this?" she questioned as the man stepped beside her. She glanced at him and stared. When she first saw him she hadn't paid him much attention, he could have been an alien and she wouldn't have noticed because that was how damn cold she had been. She had felt one step away from being a human popsicle! But now that she could feel her face once more; she noticed. She noticed the man that was standing right beside her was quite possibly the sexiest man she's seen in a very long time.

He was much taller than she was—over six feet—and she took stock of the gray in his short dark au' naturel hair. It didn't reach the collar of his graphite colored fleece sweater but fell over his forehead with the lack of any hair care products…thankfully. The salt n' pepper look worked well on him. His hair looked soft as silk and he had a cowlick standing tall and proud. He had a clean shaven strong jaw with high cheekbones paired with nice lips, but it was his eyes that were striking. They were the most lovely and intense blue: her new favorite color, framed by dark lashes that went on for miles. She had friends that would kill for lashes like those. He had a lean body with form-fitting denim jeans on. This man wasn't a pretty boy but rather classically handsome and very masculine.

"His name is Bear, he's a Belgian Malinois," he answered quietly.

Joss smiled at the soft voice the man had and he looked away, so she did as well as she settled her gaze on the beautiful dog. "Hi Bear," she replied.

The dog finally scampered over to her and she bent down to pet the dog. "Well aren't you just a handsome man?" Joss spoke to the dog as she rubbed his head and behind his ears. The dog soaked up her attention.

The man beside her cleared his throat. "You can warm up by the fire," he suggested as he walked ahead of her leaving her to follow him, avoiding eye contact with her. Joss lifted her gaze as she got an eyeful of his butt in those nice jeans he had on. Well, well, don't mind if she did. She followed slowly with her bum ankle and her body tingling, which she attributed with warming up in the toasty home and not from the man, into his living room. He had a basketball game on a large screen TV but her eyes zoomed in on the fireplace where a roaring fire was going. The fireplace occupied almost one entire wall, made with, what she assumed to be, local rocks and small boulders, and a walnut log mantel.

She felt bad for trudging snow all over his nice hardwood floors but she limped over to the fire as she tugged her gloves off and moaned in delight as the warmth was already working its magic. Joss quickly scanned the living room and noted that the modern look carried through. It was nicely decorated and designed.

"Are you okay?—your limping." he asked as he added another log to the fire.

Joss nodded. "I'm fine. I twisted my ankle as I climbed out my car in your ditch," she admitted with a lot less teeth chattering as she held her hands out to the fire. She smiled as she closed her eyes…warmth. She was beginning to feel her fingertips again.

"It doesn't look fine. It looks pretty swollen," he said quietly, eyes on the fire once more before straightening.

She reopened her eyes and looked at the ankle in question and grimaced. The hot guy was right: it was swollen and bad. "Yea, well I was on my way to a cabin I rented for the weekend when the snow came in much sooner than the weather forecaster predicted. I spun out in front of your home going down that hill and lost control going right into the ditch, with my phone dead and the bad weather I didn't want to hike to the closest civilization," she explained.

"You're lucky you spun out in front of my place after the hill, because the next closest neighbor I have is a good ways down," he muttered.

Joss felt chagrined as she hadn't introduced herself yet. "I'm sorry, where are my manners?—my name is Joss, Joss Carter," she said as she held out her hand that was stretched out to warm by the fire towards him.

Joss waited a beat before he reached out and took hers and she felt like she was slugged in the gut as her knees went weak and his heat warmed up unlike any fire ever could. "I'm John Reese."

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AN: See definitely AU and this came to me when thinking about Snow's 'cabin in the woods' comment and my twisted mind did this to it. You'll see how AU this is and I hope you guys will enjoy it since 95 percent of this is going to be just John and Joss :)

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

John didn't like visitors. But he most definitely didn't like beautiful visitors like this one. They made him remember he was a healthy man in his mid-forties. Her dark hair was wet from the snow and wind blown as it was sticking up in several directions making her appear like she had at some point stuck her finger in a light socket. Her nose was red and watering and she had red splotches lining her face from wind burn. Yet she was impossibly sexy with eyes that were big and dark, and lips that were full and kissable. She was tiny, about a good eight or nine inches shorter than him. Her head barely came up to his neck and she smelled good.

He hastily dropped her hand, ignoring the flutter her touch induced in him. He needed to get rid of her and quick. Bear was lying on her good foot, doing his part in trying to warm the woman up. His biggest issue was that ankle; he hoped she didn't break it because it was ballooning out and pretty soon he was sure she wasn't going to be able to get her shoe off.

"You can use my phone if you wish," he murmured gruffly walking unhurriedly over to the cordless phone. Maybe she knew someone in one of the closest towns so they could come and pick her up.

"Do you think if I called a tow truck they'd be able to get my car out of the ditch anytime soon?" she asked hopefully.

"Doubt it. We're under a Blizzard Warning. I won't be surprised if we aren't put under a state of emergency," he admitted reluctantly as he grabbed the remote and turned it to the Weather Channel. He saw her wince when she saw the big blob of white on the radar. "The forecast obviously changed. It's supposed to snow nonstop for the next sixteen hours with sixty mile per hour wind gusts and white-out conditions."

She sighed. "Welcome 2017 from mother nature," she muttered under her breath.

He couldn't send her out in these conditions. Her car was stuck in the ditch in the middle of a blizzard and even if she knew someone that could come and pick her up, who would risk traveling in these conditions? No tow truck or taxi was going to come out up here. His road often times was practically closed down due to the snow drifts that tended to pile up on the road until the county trucks came and plowed. He liked how desolate and remote the area he lived in was except at times like now, because now he was stuck with an unwanted guest.

John sighed. "I guess you're stuck here tonight," he said forlornly. And he wasn't optimistic about how quickly he would be free of her in the coming days either. The last time they had gotten a blizzard here; his road wasn't cleared for three days and he was literally stuck at home. Not that he went many places. Thankfully he was stocked up on food as he went grocery shopping once a month, buying everything all at once rather than once a week.

Joss could think of worse ways of spending New Year's than with a virile and sexy man, even if he was a virtual stranger; like say, going up to a cabin by yourself, and plan on watching _Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin Eve_ with Ryan Seacrest while drinking Hot Chocolate, she thought. Joss looked at John and even though he was a virtual stranger she didn't get any uneasy feelings from him or bad vibes. She scrutinized him using her former detective's eye on him: he didn't look shifty, a little irritated about having her invade his humble abode and a bit anti-social, but nothing out of the norm and nothing to worry about. He was mysterious and she wanted to unearth his secrets and the idea of staying to get to know him better gave her a thrill.

But he didn't seem to share the enthusiasm, maybe he was a hermit, or maybe he had plans for New Year's that she might put a crimp in.

"I don't want to impose. You already did more than enough with just letting me get warm. I'm sure I can find some towing company that would come out this way and get my car out of the ditch." Joss said with optimism she wasn't feeling.

"You can try," he offered.

"That didn't sound very optimistic."

He sighed. "That's because I'm not. But like I said: you can try if you find being here with a strange man uneasy," he replied.

"I've been around enough strange men in the past to know you're not at all a serial killer or rapist, so I'm good," she said, which was met with a furrow of his brows. She could tell her answer intrigued him. At least she wasn't the only one intrigued here. Joss nodded to the window where she could see the snow coming down fiercely and heard the howling wind over the sound of the Weather Channel's generic music. "I'm also not in any hurry of going back out in that snow and cold even though my suitcase is in my trunk still. But I don't want to get in the way of any plans you might have to go to celebrate New Year's tomorrow with someone." she said fishing for a little info on him.

"No, I have no one to celebrate with and have no plans to celebrate New Year's at all," he said dismissively.

Really?—this man was getting more and more interesting by each passing minute. She was sure the ladies would be lining up to spend an evening with him.

"Why not?" she asked as her eyes searched his piercing blues, the way he said it; it sounded so sad and lonely.

"Because I died five years ago." he said stiffly and with that he dropped his gaze to his dog. "Bear: verblijf," he ordered. Then he looked at her as she stared at him in astonishment at what he said. "Give me your keys. I guess since you're stuck here with me for the time being you should at least be comfortable. And being in wet clothes isn't comfortable. I'll go get your suitcase so you can change and get warmed up. Then we have to take a look at that ankle and perhaps ice it and then wrap it." he said gruffly, commandingly, and he held out his hand for her keys.

Joss instinctively reached into her coat pocket, producing her car keys for him, still too shocked by what he said to do much else than yield to his demand. Without another word he turned and walked out of the room, leaving her mind in a whirl.

* * *

" _Because I died five years ago_."

Joss's eyes tracked him through the window as he walked down the drive with a beanie on his head, a long wool coat, and he was wearing heavy duty snowboots that rested up on his shins. Too bad the coat was obstructing her view of his fantastic butt, at least it would keep him warm. But he sure looked alive and he sure the hell felt alive. His hand had been warm, strong, and comforting in hers. No ghost would look so healthy, sexy, and not see through, though she wouldn't mind his clothes being see-through, Joss thought with a snicker to herself. Her irritating friends' words about finding a man popped into her head. Joss wondered if she showed John off to Felicia and Shaw how they'd react.

"Hey Bear, your master is like the sexiest dead man I've ever seen…and I've seen a quite of few dead bodies in my day," she spoke to the dog. Bear whined in response.

Joss turned and gave the living room space a slow inspection now that John, with his distracting blue eyes, was gone for a few minutes. They nearly made you forget your own name. But they also looked sad. She scanned the large living room for any personal effects to get an understanding of him and found nothing. Na-da, there was no family pictures or anything to go on. She was surprised that she had missed a ten foot tall real balsam Christmas tree in one corner. Maybe she had missed it because she had just been saved from freezing to death, or because the pain in her ankle made thinking about anything else was almost impossible. Or maybe it was because, though the tree was tall and fragrant and beautifully decorated it was unlit and in a dark corner of the room. She approached it slowly, admiring it from a distance and then up close in detail. She spotted a light switch on the wall and turned it on, gasping at the magnificent gold, silver, and crystal ornaments that were accentuated by hundreds, possibly thousands of tiny lights that slowly dimmed then brightened. But on closer examination she once again found no personal touches, no personal ornaments adorning the tree. It was majestic yet sterile. The lights helped, but she still thought her small little tree at home had more Christmas spirit than this one.

She wondered if his bedroom would look this impersonal as well. Her searching eyes found a plush doggie bed near the fireplace with a half eaten large bone in it, and on an end table was bags of dog treats and a chewed on tennis ball which made her smile. Well, if there was one thing that she learned about John, it was that he loved this dog.

While she waited for John to come back with her suitcase and answer her burning questions because he really shouldn't say something like that to a former detective, interrogator, and a naturally curious person; she looked down at her ankle. Joss winced as she could barely put any weight on it and it was ballooning out to about double the normal size. Now she understood why John was concerned because she echoed it. It hadn't smarted that badly when she twisted it, but it was definitely painful now.

Bear sat down beside her. "I know Bear, it looks bad, right?" she murmured.

He licked her hand sweetly in answer.

Joss turned when she heard the door open. She tensed up mometarily until Bear got up and ran to the door with his tail wagging. It had to be John. She relaxed fully after a few minutes and John appeared in her line of vision with her suitcase being pulled behind him. His hair was rumpled from the beanie he wore to protect his ears from the cold and his straight nose was red. Joss paused as she finally noticed that he was barefoot and he had really nice feet. Geez, was there any part of this man's body that was unflattering?

"Thank you so much John, I really appreciate you going and getting my suitcase for me," she said sincerely. She really did value the kindness.

He ducked his head. "You're welcome, can't let you freeze to death in wet clothes and everything I have would be too big." he mumbled a little, avoiding eye contact and she smiled before he looked at her. "I don't have any guest rooms on this floor but hopefully with icing your ankle and taking some Tylonel it might help you be able the negogiate stairs later," he murmured.

He turned and noticed his Christmas tree was lit and he glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "I hope you don't mind turning the lights on. I hadn't noticed the beautiful tree til you went out to my car. It's so beautiful. Did you decorate it yourself?" she asked conversationally.

He chuckled softly. "No. I have a housekeeper and groundskeeper who both insisted I needed the tree. They put it up. I didn't have the heart to deny them. It hasn't been turned on except when they're here." He paused to look at the tree. "I admit that it does brighten up the room."

Joss nodded in agreement, both that the tree livened up the room and that they needed to address her ankle.

She watched as he moved close and crouched down near her feet before looking up at her. "I'm going to help remove your shoe before you can't." he said softly. Joss nodded as she rested a hand on his shoulder and lifted her foot up a bit. She bit her lip to not moan in pain as he as gently as possible tried to remove her shoe but the fact that she squeezed his shoulder blade must of tipped him off that it was painful. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Joss squeezed her eyes shut. "It's not your fault," she said between clenched teeth as her foot throbbed in pain. After a few tries John had successfully removed her shoe and sock. He examined her swollen ankle and she grimaced once more.

"Doesn't feel like you broke it. I think you sprained it pretty good though," he said and she let go of her death grip on his shoulder. He slowly straightened before slipping an arm around her hips and she stared at him.

Joss felt her heart race as he looked at her as if waiting for something. "What?" she asked. He was barely touching her and she was acting like he was disrobing her.

"Rest your arm on my shoulders," he instructed gruffly.

Right! Because he was acting as her crutch! Joss mentally berated herself for being foolish as she slid an arm around his broad shoulders as he bent a little to help her. Joss felt the size difference as they stood close; she also felt all hard male pressed against her side from thigh to shoulder. His hand rested on her hip and she felt heat ebbing from his palm even through her coat and jeans.

John helped her to a room just on the other side of the left wall of his living room, past his staircase in the hall that led to a formal dining room, and a kitchen in the back half of the lower floor of his large home. He leaned her against the wall as he flipped the light switch on and she saw it was a bathroom.

Joss smiled as she waved him off. "I can manage from here but if you wouldn't mind getting my suitcase for me please," she requested gently and he nodded before turning and going to do as she asked. Joss looked around the warmly painted mid-size half-bathroom with a pristine porcelain toilet and a sink with a small one-door vanity beneath in a chestnut finish and a cream colored marble top. She stopped her perusal and her jealousy that his half-bathroom looked even better than her full one at home, to use the doorframe as an aid to get in the room. John was back in a flash and helped wheel the suitcase into the bathroom for her.

"Would you like something to drink?—I got beer, bottle water, or soda." he listed.

"I wouldn't mind a beer. I'll take some Tylenol later," she said. She didn't like taking any medicine on an empty stomach. She'd just muster through the pain until after dinner.

He nodded and turned, closing the door as he went.

Joss turned to look in the mirror and nearly cried out in horror. She looked horrific! Her waterproof mascara managed but it was the rest of her that was in shambles. She had red splotches all over on her cheeks and forehead from the wind. Her hair was blown everywhere and her nose was pink. She couldn't imagine what she had looked earlier covered in snow on his front door. God, she probably had a redder nose than Rudolph. Joss grumbled and cursed her luck that she would literally stumble onto a sexy man's door while looking like a yeti battling Rosacea.

Joss quickly removed her cold and wet jacket and eyed her long sleeve lightweight red sweater. It wasn't wet so she could keep that on. It was her jeans that were cold and damp from trudging in the snow. She kept all her weight on her good foot and unzipped her suitcase and found a pair of fleece lined black leggings. She carefully removed her jeans and her one sock before grimacing in pain as she worked her leggings on. Her feet were freezing but with her ankle about two sizes too big she would just have to forego socks. She was sure her feet could warm up near the fire.

Joss already felt herself warming up with the jeans off and warm comfy leggings on in place. She finger combed her hair, not wanting to rummage to the bottom of her suitcase for her toiletry bag, at least it looked halfway presentable. Joss pulled out her small fold-up wallet from her coat that rested on the sink to check how much cash she had. She had to offer John some money for food; she wasn't staying here and not paying her way. John didn't ask for an unwanted guest. She slid the wallet back into her coat and gathered up the wet clothes with one arm before opening the door and attempted to hobble out using the doorframe as support.

But she didn't have to go far without John noticing as he came walking from the staircase with a crutch in one hand and a bottle of Tylenol and an Ace elastic bandage in the other. "Here, this should help," he said as he took the wet clothes from her and handed her the one crutch instead.

"Thanks," she said as she looked at him in surprise.

He shrugged, "I injured my foot in an accident years ago," he admitted as he walked over to the foyer and hung up her wool coat next to his. She saw that he had moved her shoes out near his as well resting on the rug in front of the door and he had found her snow boots in her trunk bringing them in for her as well.

"I can get these washed and dried for you." he offered gently. Joss nodded grateful. "I'll be right back. Feel free to get comfortable; I'll bring you your beer," John offered quietly with a sweeping gesture at his chocolate colored sectional in the huge living room with that toasty fire roaring.

John entered the bathroom and moved her suitcase back out into the hall near his staircase before turning and heading down the hall towards the back of his house she hadn't seen yet.

Joss looked back to the living room and saw Bear standing waiting for her as if he was going to escort her in. "You're a sweetheart." she murmured to the dog, who then trotted over and she petted the dog's head affectionately, before she turned and with the use of the crutch and headed after her host, hearing Bear follow behind her. She wanted to see more of John's gorgeous place even though that fire was beckoning her.

Joss let out a sigh as she eyed his kitchen. It was four times the size of her kitchen at home and very modern with light colored quartz countertops and a dark backsplash, making it pop. Stainless steel appliances that she wished she had and a large kitchen island with an overhang countertop with two black leather barstools seated beneath. He had a small table able to seat four in the corner near a sliding door that led out to a giant deck and to the left of that was an archway that opened up to a formal dining room that looked vacant except for a round table.

He looked at her. "You like?" he wondered as he opened the door to the laundry that was just off from the table in the corner to the right.

"I wish to steal your kitchen." she answered honestly as she gave it a long perusal.

John chuckled softly and it seemed he was loosening up around her. He just seemed crusty, like he didn't enjoy spending time with other people, preferring solitude or something. "Does your offer to use your phone still stand?" she asked unashamedly watching his ass as he bent to collect some of his jeans out of the hamper he had in there, before he loaded her jeans into the washer along with his. Those jeans fitted him perfectly and clung to him in all the right spots.

He turned his head to look at her. "Of course, you may; have you changed your mind and decided to risk calling a towing company?" he asked.

"No. I really don't want to brave the elements again. I learned my lesson. I do apologize for just bursting my way into your life though," she apologized, well she wasn't too apologetic. Perhaps John needed someone barging into his life.

John gave her another small smile. "There is nothing we can do now and I wasn't going to make you stay out in the cold. My house is big enough that we can co-exist without being on top of each other," he assured as he began pouring in laundry detergent.

Joss winced inwardly as the idea of John being on top of her wasn't bad at all. She sighed. This was her friends' fault for putting the idea of a fling in her head. Damn Shaw and her all sex all the time mantra!

"I'll give you some money for the inconvenience and eating your food," she offered.

He shook his head. "That's not necessary," he assured her.

Joss wanted to tell him that it might not be necessary but she wanted to pay her way but didn't. John didn't look like he was going to agree to accept any money for his kindness so instead she said; "I actually have to call my son, he might be nineteen, but he'll worry about me if he can't get a hold of me by text or call." John looked at her in blatant surprise. He would never have guessed she had a child at that age. "What shocks you: that I have a kid or his age?" she asked, seeing his surprise written so plainly on his face.

"Definitely that you have a nineteen year old; you certainly don't look old enough to have a son that age," he murmured taking the opportunity to look her over.

Joss smiled warmly at the compliment and the appreciative once-over. "Thank you for that. But I'm forty-three, John. My son is celebrating New Year's with his dad and I know he'll be trying to call me to make sure I got to the cabin safely."

Forties?—he would have said she was in her early thirties. She took good care of herself. She had a young looking face as he led her slowly back to his living room where his phone was. "Take as long as you need," he urged so he could get used to sharing his space with someone.

Joss took the phone and watched as he left clearly giving her privacy to talk to her son. She quickly dialed her son's cell number and hoped he'd pick up due to the fact that the number was unknown. If not, she'd have to ask John what his phone number was so she could leave a voicemail until she could manage to charge her phone.

But surprisingly her boy answered but hesitantly, "Hello?"

"Hey, Taylor, it's me," Joss answered.

"Mom?—where's your cell phone?"

Joss ran a hand through her still damp hair. "I have it but its dead; took longer to get to where I got than I figured thanks to the blizzard that came way too damn early. But I wanted to call you so you didn't worry, but I had a spin out and my car landed in a ditch," she explained giving him the quick facts.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Taylor demanded in obvious worry.

"Yes, I'm fine baby. I was unhurt, a little shaken up, but more annoyed with myself," she muttered, choosing to leave off she hurt her ankle climbing out of her car. Since she was shot and nearly killed her son was overprotective to the max; he got upset when she had a sniffle. She didn't want him to worry about her. He should enjoy his holiday with his father.

Taylor made a sound. "I'm just glad you're okay. Where are you?—I could come get your or I could ask dad to," Taylor offered immediately.

"Absolutely not, young man; your safety is more important than me being stuck in the middle of nowhere, especially since I'm someplace safe and warm," Joss assured him with a quick glance at the entryway seeing if John was coming back. Evidently he was hiding out in the kitchen.

"Where are you anyway?" Taylor asked.

"I'm up in the Catskills someplace. We are in the heart of the storm though and it's snowing like crazy here. It has to be at least an inch or two an hour." Joss said with a glance out the window. She gave an involuntary shiver as she saw the snow being whipped up from the ground and spinning like a cyclone.

"It's not too bad here right now; the snow is still coming down but not too bad." Taylor replied sounding distracted like he had looked out a window.

She nodded. "Well you, Hayley, your father and everyone down there have a great New Year's Eve and I love you with all my heart, baby boy. Give Hayley a big kiss from me tomorrow," she instructed jokingly.

Taylor chuckled lightly. "I will, I love you too, mom. I just don't like that you're in the middle of nowhere. Wait…so did you find a motel or hotel to stay at without having to walk too far?" he asked with concern lacing his voice once more.

Joss winced. "Yea, it's nothing big," she lied. She hated lying to her boy but she knew her son would be upset if she told him she was in a house with a man. Had John given her a creepy vibe she wouldn't have stayed with him, but he didn't. "I'm not sure when I can get to my cabin or get my car. We'll see how things are tomorrow morning." she murmured trying to sound optimistic but as she looked out the large window seeing it was snowing harder than before; she's wasn't so sure _when_ she'd be able to dig her car out.

"I'll text you later tonight before bed or should I call you on this number?" Taylor wondered.

"Definitely text, I'll get my cell charged." she replied instantly. She didn't need him calling John's home because then her son would know she lied to him and she was only fibbing to keep him from worrying. "Now don't worry about me; I want you to have fun at your dad's party tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Taylor agreed sounding hesitant once more. "Be careful mom."

"I can take care of myself. I love you baby," she said lovingly.

"Love you too, mom," he responded before she hung up.

Joss set the cordless back into its cradle, before situating the crutch back under her arm and made her way over to her coat that was hung up next to his and tugged her deader than dead cell phone out. She turned and headed for her suitcase that was left near the stairs from when John pulled it out of the bathroom, and she opened the pocket on the front and produced her charger. Once it was in hand she straightened and began moving slowly to go in search for her mysterious gorgeous host.

* * *

AN: This was on the long-ish side but some answers are brought to light in the next chapter. Oh, and the housekeeper and groundskeeper are characters you know and you'll learn who they are in a later chapter ;D

Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

John paced the floor of his kitchen back and forth. He would have to start getting his Chili ready and stewing in another hour or so. He hoped Joss liked it but as soon as that thought crossed his mind, he scowled at himself. Why did it matter if she liked his Chili or not?—it shouldn't, that was what he had planned dinner that evening and if she didn't like it then she could raid his fridge to look for something else to eat. He didn't ask for a houseguest. Though she didn't ask to spin out and land in his ditch either.

He looked at Bear. "We have to tolerate our guest until this snowstorm lets up and roads are cleared," he explained tersely, which wasn't nearly as much of a chore as he wished it to be. Joss was easy on the eyes especially now that she soothed her hair, was warmed up, and was changed. Those pants she changed into were far too tight and clung to her butt too perfectly for his own good. And what angered him more was the fact that he kept looking. Bear snorted and John rolled his eyes. "You just like that she smells good," he accused the dog. But he had to agree with Bear, Joss did smell good.

"It's Jasmin…."

John whirled around and frowned as his heart thundered. He blamed it on the fact that she startled him. "What?" he asked.

"My perfume I wear: it's Jasmin," she supplied with a charming smile on her face. Her whole face lit up, even her eyes sparkled when she smiled and it left him unsettled.

"Eavesdropping is unbecoming," he muttered.

She chuckled as she hobbled further inside the kitchen. "I didn't realize that you could eavesdrop on conversations with a dog," she teased.

John looked at Bear seriously before saying, "You can."

Joss chuckled again. "Alright: I'm sorry for not making my presence known," she conceded. She held up her cell phone and cord. "You have someplace I can charge this thing?"

He cleared his throat, knowing she had heard him tell Bear he only was going to tolerate her as he nodded, pointing out an empty socket that was on the counter near his refrigerator; he was just grateful she was choosing not to comment on it. She proceeded to plug her phone in and smiled when the screen lit up. John picked up one of the two beer bottles and held it out to her as she turned; she happily took it in her free hand.

"Is everything alright with your son?" he asked politely.

Joss hobbled back a bit to lean against his refrigerator. "Yea, my boy said that down in Manhattan they aren't getting much snow, not like up here." she said as she quickly took a sip.

John cocked a brow up. "So you're teenage son is alright with the fact that his mother is stuck out in the middle of nowhere with a male stranger?" he questioned. If it was his mother, he knew he would not be happy one bit.

"No. Because he doesn't know that, Taylor thinks I'm at some motel." she admitted but sighed at John's look. "Don't look at me like that, I know I should have told him but I just didn't want him to worry. This is his first real New Year's party he gets to have with his dad and I don't want to get in the way of that."

"Oh?" John said trying to not sound interested yet failed. He told himself it wasn't because he was interested in the woman but rather interested in making these next several hours—or days—in her presence less awkward.

"Paul, my ex-husband, wasn't really involved in my son's life for much of his youth and they finally reconnected. Taylor spent Christmas with me and my mother so the tradeoff was Paul got to spend New Year's with him and his new family." she said conversationally. After Paul cleaned up his life he got remarried and had a new baby boy who turned one just a month ago.

John nodded before asking, "You and your ex aren't on good speaking terms?"

"Not really. It's better now, but it's never going to be chummy." she confessed. Joss had swallowed a bitter pill when she filed separation and then divorce, because in her eyes it was a sign of failure. She failed at marriage. But she learned to let it go, move on, and she didn't hate Paul anymore for being an absentee father to Taylor; because, at least, he was there for their son now.

She eyed him fully, now it was his turn to share something of himself with her. "Alright it's your turn to tell me something about you; care to explain that 'I died five years ago' comment?" she asked with a tilt of the head because her curiosity was killing her. "Because, for a dead man, you look pretty alive to me," she said, unable to resist giving him an once-over. John was definitely one fine male specimen and she was a healthy woman with a pair of eyes.

John saw the appreciative look she gave him though he chose to ignore it. "Nothing to explain: left the Army, declined the offer to become a CIA agent; made some money, got married and we tried for a baby for a very long time. Jessica had a hard time getting pregnant and we exhausted everything to conceive. When it just wasn't happening for us, I wanted to adopt and Jessica agreed with me on our wedding anniversary, and then she died in a car accident two days later. I lost her five years ago," he recited, devoid of emotion but his eyes gave him away. The agony was still in them of a lost love, of broken dreams.

Joss subconsciously reached out to touch his forearm in comfort. "I'm so sorry, John," she murmured softly, not meaning to bring up something so painful for him. She now understood the 'I've been dead for five years' comment because he stopped living the moment his wife was killed because not only did he lose the woman he loved but all his hopes and dreams of being a father were shattered in one devastating moment. John was merely existing and that was so damn sad to her.

He shrugged, "Jessica had just finished a double shift at the hospital when she was coming home and was hit head on. Arndt, the other driver, for whatever reason, crossed over into her lane and hit her going at seventy miles per hour, killing them both instantly. Arndt was tested and had no drugs or alcohol in his system but authorities claimed he had a mountain of debt owed to loan sharks who were threatening him," he said, which was for the best because he would be in jail at the moment because he would have killed Peter Arndt with his bare hands for taking the woman he loved from him.

Joss suspected that this Arndt guy wanted to die and used his wife as the means to do it. She wanted to change the subject because she felt like she was ripping a scab off a wound on him that wasn't fully healed yet. "When did you leave the Army?" she asked shifting focus off his dead wife.

"In '01 from Special Forces; I didn't want to take the chance of losing Jessica just in case she didn't want to wait. So I quit and never looked back even with the towers coming down," he admitted.

Joss was surprised. That was fifteen years ago. John still looked military with the short hair, keeping his body in great shape—in really great shape—and the sharp intelligent gaze. Joss had several questions on the tip of her tongue to ask him but instead said; "I was medically discharged." She was interested in learning more about John but she had a feeling he would clam up if she didn't reciprocate.

John cocked his head as he swallowed some of his beer. "You were in the Army too?" he questioned, interested.

"Yep; Warrant Officer and then a Human Intelligence Collector until I was in Fallujah and a Marine stepped on a land mine. He was dust and I was injured," she explained.

"Must have been bad," he murmured.

Joss nodded. "It was. Long story short: I moved on to being a cop making it to homicide detective after trying to be a lawyer. Being a lawyer just wasn't my calling so I enrolled in the academy and I loved it," she said fondly.

He smiled. "So you were a top interrogator with the Army, then a lawyer before moving onto being a cop. That's quite the impressive resume," he recited her careers.

She smiled in return. "What can I say?—I enjoy capturing the bad guys rather than trying them in court," she said with a shrug. "And now…now I don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself," she said softly as her smile dimmed with slumped shoulders.

"What do you mean?"

Joss looked him in the eyes. "I was chasing down a murder suspect and didn't realize he had an accomplice until it was too late; he shot me twice: once in the knee, shattering the kneecap and the other in the chest, then left me to die in an alley," she said, hoping he didn't catch the pain in her voice. It still hurt to think about, dreams of dying alone in that alley plagued her.

"Cowards," John snapped, visibly angry.

"Yea, they were caught a block or two down and I was rushed into surgery. Flat lined twice, it was touch and go for a little while until I finally pulled through. Had the bullet been a couple inches to the right I wouldn't be here today. Both injuries required extensive physical therapy and rehab but my knee isn't the same anymore, and it left me unable to physically perform the duties of my job so I was forced to retire," she murmured softly.

John stared at her. "I'm sorry," he whispered. She looked at him immediately. "I can tell you loved working as a cop. Sorry it was taken from you by cowards."

Joss smiled faintly. "Thanks, I just keep in my head that I'm alive. Yea, my knee isn't quite right and I had put in a lot tears and pain to rehab myself even to be where I am, but I'm alive," she murmured truthfully. It was what she held onto. "What about you?—you've been out of the Army for a while, what have you done since?" she asked.

He opened his freezer grabbed a bag of frozen peas, picked up the elastic bandage that rested on the kitchen island before motioning for her to follow him. She did slowly with the use of the crutch and Bear followed behind her. Obviously whatever he had done during the last fifteen years was quite lucrative, judging by this gorgeous house he had with about ten acres, or so, of land. But she wondered if he moved here before or after his wife died.

"Well I didn't fall into public service like you had. I went into business with a friend. We actually founded and ran a private security firm for a while until Jessica died. After that I wanted to get away; I always wanted to live somewhere quiet, so Harold bought my half out of the company." he murmured as they sat down on his couch together, near the fire and she could feel its heat warming her already. "Lift your foot up onto the coffee-table." he commanded softly.

Joss did as he asked and hissed a little in pain as he gently laid the frozen bag of peas on her throbbing ankle. He situated it so it rested there before he sat back. She watched Bear lie down in his doggie bed before shifting her gaze back onto John, "Is that when you moved here?" she asked ignoring the pain in her foot and focused on her curiosity about this man.

"Yes." he answered shortly, not elaborating more on it as he changed the station back to the basketball game.

She nodded before continuing, "So what do you do now?" she asked, wanting more. Maybe if she learned more about him the allure of his mystery would be gone and he wouldn't be so interesting.

John shifted his gaze off the TV and back to her. "I'm an independent contractor; Harold hires me from time to time for certain clientele and pays me way too damn much," he said with a shake of his head.

But Harold claimed it was because of the inherent risks of the job. John devoted his entire self in protecting people, who thought they needed it and half the time they had done pro-bono work because some clients didn't have the means to afford personal protection; so they offered it free of charge for certain cases so they could feel safe. He still didn't like Dillinger, who Harold hired against his advisement, but Finch was the sole owner of the firm now and John dropped in on Manhattan from time to time to make sure the man was doing a good job of keeping people safe. Harold had not so subtly hinted that he would like for him to come back and John resisted for the most part. Being in the city near places where he and Jessica used to go would hurt too much; he preferred life out here in the woods because it was simpler.

Joss smiled. "Not many men or women would complain about being paid too much," she teased.

"You do when you don't need the money." John muttered. He had invested well, taking advice and tips from Finch, who was a billionaire, so he figured he knew what he was doing and he did.

The conversation fell off as they both got sidetracked with the basketball game. She learned he loved basketball but his favorite team was Seattle Seahawks from the NFL because he grew up watching them. The small bits and pieces she learned about him made her want to dig for more but she needed to pace herself because John wasn't a barrel of information but he seemed to have relaxed a little around her, like he was resigned to the fact that they were stuck together.

After a while John got up to go put their clothes into the dryer, taking the tepid bag of peas with him giving her ankle a reprieve before coming back with a bag of chips. Her stomach rumbled on cue. "Figured you had to be hungry." he admitted as he sat down next to her.

"Yes, I am." she agreed as she leaned forward careful to not move her foot much to set her beer down on the coffee-table and cupped her hands together to make a makeshift bowl which he promptly deposited chips into. "Thank you, John, I mean it: you didn't have to take me into your home to give me shelter from the storm or wash and dry my clothes, or feed me. But I do appreciate it a lot," she said sincerely.

He grunted in response and she smiled, taking it as his way of taking her compliment and gratitude. John set the bag of chips between them as he sat forward and grabbed the elastic bandage. She watched his nice hands as they moved to her foot.

"This might hurt a bit," he murmured. Joss clenched her jaws tight because he was being gentle but it still hurt. She did a number on her ankle when she twisted it climbing out of her car. He began wrapping it for her. "The swelling looks to have gone down a little but not much," he added quietly.

"Pain hasn't." she complained morosely.

Joss should really insist on doing this herself but his callous-free hands were so soft on her injured ankle, besides he was halfway finished already. He had long thin fingers, very masculine. He had one of the new bandages that had Velcro instead of needing to use those annoying pins that never really kept it nice and secure.

John sat back once satisfied with his handiwork and they ate the chips, sharing the bag, sipped their respective beers, and watched the game. His eyes shifted from the TV to Joss. Since she dropped in on him about an hour or so ago he had been waiting for discomfort of their forced proximity but none came. And he wasn't quite sure why. They just met, thrown together due to the inclement weather, and yet conversation wasn't stilted. She seemed to understand he wasn't accustomed to small talk and chose topics that they shared in common which made talking to her that much easier. But whatever the case may be for the at ease feeling she induced in him was; if he was stuck having to share an extended period of time with someone, even someone as utterly beautiful as Joss was, then he could handle it if it was her.

* * *

AN: I tried to keep within POIverse like with Arndt killing Jessica but just differently, except for Joss dying because that was just a whole lotta bullshit that was shoveled down our throats.

Oh, and don't be surprised when you see another new story from me because it's only three chapters long and a followup story to Love's in the Water. So I'll be alternating between updating this and that one which I'll begin posting tomorrow sometime.

Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN: This was supposed to be posted Friday but I just ran out of time. So I'll make sure this week there are more updates :)**_

* * *

After it was abundantly clear that the Knicks were going to be blown out again John had wandered off to go make dinner for them. Joss, the smart woman she was, let him go first so she could steal another opportunity to ogle that fabulous butt John had. She'd seen some nice asses in her day; her ex-husband Paul had one too, but John's had to be the best. Those jeans were made to be worn by a man like him: virile, rugged, and so damn hot.

Bear sat on his doggie bed eyeing her as she shifted her gaze off where John disappeared to, to the dog. She smiled as Bear watched her. "Caught me looking huh?" she murmured to the pooch.

Bear stood and maneuvered himself over to her as she spoke to him. Joss sat forward and petted him on the head. "But you can't blame a girl for looking Bear: your master is hot," she whispered.

Bear whined as he leaned his head onto her lap and gave her the saddest puppy dog eyes ever. Joss giggled as she ruffled his fur. "Don't give me those eyes: you know you're cute too," she added with softness in her voice.

Bear barked in response and licked her. Joss swore the dog had guilted her to give him that compliment. She shook her head as she got to her feet to head for the kitchen. She really didn't want to be left alone in the living room of someone else's space; it felt weird, like she was intruding.

She grabbed the crutch that leaned against the armrest of the large sectional couch, slid it under her arm and slowly made her way with Bear by her side. Joss found John standing at his kitchen island with a cutting board out, knife in hand, and slicing into an onion.

"What are you making?" she asked, breaking the silence as she entered his kitchen.

John looked up from chopping an onion. "Chili, if you want something else I have a whole refrigerator and freezer full of food you can choose from. I already had this planned."

"No, this is great. I don't remember the last time I had Chili." she admitted. She wasn't the best cook in the world but she did okay. But it was simple meals for her and Taylor because of time constraints when she worked as a detective. She never had any time to try out new recipes and her boy never complained.

John motioned to the cutting board, "Would you, uh, like to help?" he offered awkwardly. He didn't usually eat with anyone and he certainly wasn't used to delegating the workload either. When Jessica was alive she never cooked, he had always made dinner for them. But she was usually beat after long hours in the hospital and he wanted a nice warm meal for his wife when she came home. He had always wanted a warm happy home when he was growing up. And he had it with Jessica until it was taken from him.

Joss lit up, grateful to do something to help out. "Please!" she responded sincerely as she moved over to the pair of black leather barstools with backrests that sat in front of the kitchen island with the overhang countertop, resting the crutch against the other one, and lifted herself up onto it with her good foot and then rested her bad one on the barstool next to her.

John slid the cutting board over to her and handed her the knife, which she dropped promptly as their hands brushed making a loud clattering noise that resonated through the quiet kitchen. She muttered an apology before focusing on the task at hand while she mentally cursed herself for letting such a soft touch affect her. Joss couldn't believe she was getting clumsy from an accidental hand touch! Maybe this physical reaction to John was a reminder that she was a healthy woman in her early forties, who hadn't had sex in awhile, because as the hours passed since she spun out and found herself way-laid with John, she realized she was attracted to this man physically. It was hard not to be. John was an exceptionally good looking man. But she didn't know much about him because he was tight-lipped about anything remotely personal though the little that she did manage to pry from him made her want to know more. John was a soft-spoken, tall, dark haired, blue-eyed enigma that was begging to be solved and Joss just _loved_ a good mystery. And to be honest she was a pretty good detective.

Her friends' pesky words clawed their way back into her mind and not for the first time since dropping on his doorstep unannounced. John would be the ideal candidate for a fling: sexy, mysterious, and clearly not looking for a love match. But it didn't matter since she wasn't the type to engage in flings. She wasn't spontaneous or carefree; she certainly wasn't the type to go to guy to guy to guy. Since before her divorce, and even before her separation from Paul, she had been celibate.

The flame between Paul and her had been doused; there hadn't been even a spark or an ember left between them by the time divorce came around and certainly no love. They had just been co-existing together until she found him cuddled next to their son with a gun nearby. That had been it the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back and she kicked him out of their home, filing for separation the very next morning. Sex hadn't been a priority, putting food on the table for her and her son, making sure Taylor had everything he needed, had been. And she hadn't given sex a second thought until right now…until John. Why, oh why, did she have to be attracted to this guy?!—a damn hermit who lived in Timbuktu!

But a hermit who was so damn sexy that she'd love to tear his clothes off and….

Joss yelped as she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't pay much attention to the knife slicing the onion and getting impossibly close to her fingers.

John looked at her. "Are you alright?" he demanded as he stepped around the kitchen island towards her. "Did you cut yourself?" he asked brusquely.

"I'm fine, it's nothing." she lied as her finger stung as she cupped her hand over her fingers. She could feel wetness coating her palm which meant she was bleeding. Just great; she cut herself. First she twisted her ankle and now she just sliced her finger off in front of him. John was going to think she was a klutz at best or at worst a brainless twit.

He reached out wrapping his long—and nice looking—fingers around her wrist pulling it up close to his face. "Let me see," he requested in a tone that suggested he wasn't asking in the slightest. Joss yielded to the demand as she let go of her hand and he growled something before tugging her towards his sink forcing her to sort of hop on one foot to follow him. "Its deep,' he accused.

Joss frowned feeling like she should apologize to him or something, because he seemed truly upset by her wound, but the thought fled as she cried out a little as the harsh cold water stung her cut. She tugged trying to free her hand from his grasp to get away from the water pouring over the slice but John had like an iron tight clasp on her finger.

"I'm sorry but I have to clean it and see if you need stitches." he said in a gentled voice.

Joss forced a wounded smile. "I've had worse," she acknowledged and slowly became aware of the fact that they were standing awfully close. Her entire side from her knee up to her chest was touching his. She felt incredibly warm since the man gave off more heat than a furnace. His warm and big hands were wrapped around her much smaller one keeping her index finger straight out under the faucet.

John didn't seem aware of their closeness as he pulled her hand free of the cold water and lifted it up to his face to inspect it closely. She shivered a little as she felt his breath caress her cold hand and it felt wonderful.

"It doesn't look like you need stitches and it doesn't look as deep as I first thought." he murmured more to himself than her. He lowered her hand. "Sit and I'll go get you the First Aid kit," he directed, once again sounding like he was ordering her rather than asking, before turning and walked towards the bathroom.

Joss dejectedly did the hop of shame back to the barstool, keeping all the weight off her injured ankle, while he was away so he didn't see it. John was back within moments with the kit in hand giving it to her; and she watched depressed as he tugged the cutting board back over, grabbed a new knife, and finished the onion she had been dicing.

Joss opened the First Aid kit grabbing out the Neosporin and a bandage or two. How did she explain she cut herself because she was thinking about sex, being attracted to him, and wanting to rip his clothes off? Telling him she was so overcome by her hormones was even worse than letting him think she was brainless twit.

"I'm sorry, John, I'm not usually this clumsy," she muttered as she eyed the damage she did. It was one long slice, so she might need two bandages to cover it so it could heal. It was bleeding freely but she had to agree with John's assessment: it wasn't deep and it was not bleeding as badly as just a minute ago.

John just nodded but didn't say a word in response as he had the onion sliced and diced before moving onto the tomato. Joss winced at the stinging pain in her finger took precedence as she applied the Neosporin before hurrying to bandage it.

Things were quiet after she sliced her finger and John was thoroughly engrossed in making his Chili and she was left to watch him, which wasn't altogether a bad thing. Watching him move around his kitchen effortlessly, efficiently, and with grace was actually quite addicting. John looked good in the kitchen but then she suspected John looked good doing everything. It made her wonder if he was always a good cook or did he pick it up after he became an unexpected widow.

"Who taught you to cook?" she asked breaking the silence, seizing an opportunity to dig for a little more info about the man.

John looked to her. "I taught myself," he answered shortly.

Joss cocked a brow up when there was no further elaboration than that. "So you knew how to cook before you lost your wife?" she asked trying to help lead him to open up just a tiny bit.

"Yes."

Joss frowned at the again short answer. "Do you have much family?" she asked, trying to find a subject he'd be willing to expound on.

"No."

Joss exhaled roughly. What did she expect: a lengthier response? "I'm an only child. My father is gone but my mother is still alive," she offered, hoping it would spur him to talk about himself. It didn't. He simply looked at her to give her his attention, and then nodded before turning to stir the Chili in his pot. She shook her head as she laughed inwardly. Men were such finicky creatures. She'd figure this one out eventually but the real question was: why did it matter to her? Because after tomorrow—or maybe even the day after that—she would never see him again anyway.

"You know this is where you are supposed to add something about yourself; it's proper etiquette in getting to know one another," she murmured as she grabbed the crutch and moved over to him with the First Aid Kit in her free hand.

John looked at her. "I always did things differently," he commented.

"I can tell, you have the 'devil may care' attitude. Bet you made your momma go gray early, didn't you with the rebellious streak," she said amused and she thought she saw his lips twitch into a small smile before it vanished. Joss nodded to the kit. "Where did you get this?—I want to put it away for you since I am not completely useless," she added.

"I never said you were," he countered.

Joss sighed. "You didn't have to. I know I am. Or at least I know how I look to you," she admitted sulkily.

"Do you?" he questioned, sounding cautious.

Joss met his gaze at the question, trying to figure out the expression on his face but it was too guarded. "Yes. I look like a complete klutz with two left feet and someone that gets lost in thoughts that she doesn't pay attention to the fact that she's cutting her own finger," she said with furrowed brows and the expression was gone.

He looked at the pot he was stirring. "Under the sink in the vanity," he said.

Joss blinked. "What?" she asked.

"You asked where I got the kit from: under the sink in the vanity from the bathroom where you changed,"John clarified.

"Oh, yea, thanks," she murmured forgetting she had asked. She was still trying to dissect that look on his face. But she didn't know him well enough to discern just what he was thinking at that moment. Joss turned and made her way slowly to the bathroom lost in thoughts about her perplexing and handsome host.

* * *

John turned to watch the infuriating woman make slow progress of getting to the bathroom to put away the First Aid Kit; but more importantly, his gaze was on her behind that was shapely. He was glad she hadn't known what he truly thought of her or she'd be certainly frightened to stay here the night with him.

He forced his gaze away from her attractive retreating form, angry with himself that had they stood at the sink that close for much longer he was tempted to lean over and kiss her. It was such a foreign concept: kissing. And not something he had done since he lost his wife. The last time he kissed any woman was in the morning of that tragic day when he kissed Jessica before going to work and she never came home, and it turned his life inside out.

John tried to focus on the meal he was cooking as he struggled to ignore the stirring in his groin. What was it about Joss or what twist of chemistry had him so strongly attracted to her? He'd seen attractive women before and they didn't affect him like Joss did. There was Zoe Morgan, who he had met because she had been a client of Harold's that needed some assistance and Harold had a previous engagement he couldn't get out of. And when she propositioned him with an arrangement that worked for them both, he agreed: no kisses or foreplay, no after-sex talk, and certainly no feelings. Zoe would be wet and ready for him by the time he arrived at the prearranged hotel room and they engaged in meaningless sex. It worked for them for the last three years and he hadn't seen Zoe in six months since their last impromptu rendezvous. He certainly never felt inclined to kiss her like with Joss. But maybe now since meeting Joss and being forced to share this close proximity with her he would have to call Zoe up sooner than he wished.

So he was brought back to his question: what was it about Joss that made her different? It had to be for the simple fact that she had a freshness to her that spoke to him; reminding him of Jessica. His first meeting with Jessica had resembled a cheesy romance movie as they had run into each other—literally—in a rainstorm. He had helped pick up the things from her purse that had fallen out from their collision, profusely apologizing to her when she looked at him, she hadn't had on waterproof mascara so Jessica had looked like a drowned raccoon but she looked so damn beautiful. Jessica laughed, making him smile and he asked her to coffee and the rest was history as they would say.

Jessica had been refreshing and different.

So was Joss. When he opened his door and saw her on his porch he wished he could say he hadn't felt a damn thing but he had even though her hair looked like she stepped in a time machine and gone back into the 1980s due to the wind and looked one step from freezing to death. Getting to know her a little made him realize she was different from most women he met nowadays too. It made him want to get to know her more.

And that was dangerous.

* * *

AN: Heh, heh, heh...someone likes someone and doesn't want to like the said someone ;D Tomorrow is an update to 'Happy Birthday, Daddy!'

Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

_**AN: Just an FYI: this chapter has very strong imagery so I think I should rate this a very high T like borderline M so if you guys think this should be upped to M let me know so I can update the rating. I know a specific chapter later is definitely M rated :)  
**_

* * *

Joss was full from John's dinner that had been amazing. She had told him time and time again as they ate. He had been very humble and gracious about it because he seemed a little embarrassed by her praise. He was truly a marvel as he blushed. She was sure she'd never meet a man that looked like him that could blush such a deep crimson color over a simple compliment.

John cleaned up the dishes off the table, refusing her help, claiming she was a guest, leaving them in the dishwasher before turning to look at Bear. "Voruit," he commanded and Bear hopped up happily with tail wagging madly.

Joss watched from her seat at the kitchen island and could swear the damn dog was smiling. "What did you say?" she asked. She never heard anyone use a different language to speak to a dog before except with military dogs though she never personally used or had even seen a military dog on the other side.

He looked at her. "I told him it's time to go outside." he murmured as Bear walked to the sliding door and waited patiently for John to open it for him. John did and Bear raced out into the frigid night taking the steps of the deck quickly, landing on a run kicking up a ridiculous amount of snow on the ground from his galloping.

"Aren't you afraid he won't come back?" she wondered.

John smiled as he shook his head. "No, Bear is a good dog. All I have to do is whistle and he comes," he acknowledged.

"He's very intelligent dog," Joss murmured as she slipped from the stool and put the crutch under her arm and moved over to stand next to him. Darkness loomed and it was still snowing horribly. "Still snowing hard," she said quietly. The snow created a beautiful landscape coupled with the leafless trees that decorated his ridiculously large backyard. She smiled a little as she saw a blur of movement, thanks to his back porch light that produced just enough light, knowing it had to be Bear running about.

John didn't respond verbally rather nodding his head in agreement. She looked up at his profile. "Why do you use Dutch commands with Bear?" she asked, already figuring out the answer.

John shifted his gaze off the backyard and to her. "Bear is a trained military dog, he responds to Dutch commands."

She nodded. "So is that how you acquired Bear, because he was your military dog?" she wondered, finally finding a subject he was willing to touch on, which didn't come as a surprise that it was about Bear.

"No. I knew men that used these types of dogs but I never had one. Actually an old military friend had Bear but he died and his wife called me up to ask if I wanted him; she didn't want to take care of him and she wanted to move to get away from the memories," he explained.

"Bear is happy here," Joss said. And it seemed like John found this dog when he needed him most.

They stood near the sliding door for several minutes longer before he opened it letting in the whipping cold air and snow, and whistled loudly. In seconds a snow covered Bear came barreling up the deck and shot right into the house shaking to rid his self of the pesky snowflakes that dared to cling to his fur.

"It's cold isn't it," John spoke to Bear warmly. Bear barked in answer and Joss half wondered if this damn dog knew English too because he sure seemed to understand what they said to him. John looked to her after locking the sliding door up. "How about we head back in the living room and get the fire going again?"

She nodded in agreement as they turned and walked to his living room. Joss followed him much slower and as she entered; she watched John hurry to the fireplace to build a fire once more. And after a few moments it was roaring once more and it wouldn't take long to be nice and toasty inside the massive room.

Joss settled onto the couch once more lifting her foot up onto the coffee-table at John's insistence and smiled as Bear walked in a circle before finding a good spot and lied down in his doggie bed after receiving a treat from his master.

John turned and headed for the end table where his cordless phone sat and picked up a tablet. "If you want to surf the web, connection is a little slow because I live in the middle of nowhere but it still goes sort of fast." he offered the tablet to her.

She shook her head. If she wanted too she could go get her own out of her suitcase. "I'm good but thanks," she said as he sat down beside her on the sectional but with enough space between them.

John looked to her. "You can watch whatever you wish. I need to check my email." he mumbled off-handedly as he nodded to the remote control on the coffee-table in front of her.

She took him up on the offer as she reached over careful to not bump her ankle and grabbed the remote. She began flipping through the many channels he had as she searched for something to be on. But with the impending holiday tomorrow she bet she wasn't going to find anything that wasn't a movie or a part of some marathon.

Joss paused as she came upon a commercial advertisement for an online school to listen in. "Thinking about going back to school?" She blinked as she looked to her sexy host after he spoke and saw he had glanced up from his tablet with eyes on the television screen, before sliding his gaze onto her.

She shrugged in answer, "I'm thinking about it." she acknowledged hesitantly.

"But," he supplied when she stopped.

"But as I told you earlier: I don't know what I want to do with myself. I've been thinking of taking classes on things that interest me until I can figure it out." she murmured.

John nodded. "Have you ever considered being an instructor for the police academy?—I'm sure with your skills from both the Army and from being a detective they'd love to have you as an instructor to train new recruits. Or if you can't do that you could volunteer your time to give seminars to new recruits about what they might see on the job and how to handle the stresses that go with being a cop," he suggested quietly.

Joss looked at him in surprise. She could honestly say she hadn't thought of either idea. "No, I haven't." she admitted. They weren't bad options either. It would give her an opportunity to give back and help with future cops in the making, with her experiences. Maybe she wasn't completely useless in the field she loved as she originally thought. Yea, she couldn't physically do her job anymore because of her knee problems but she still had things to offer. "Thanks for the idea." She would have to mull it over.

Things grew quiet as he finished up checking his email and they watched _Die Hard_ together. When the movie credits began rolling Joss realized the time. It was past eleven at night and she was bushed; after the tense ride up to where she made it before her spin out she was exhausted.

"I think I'm going to head to bed." she said with a yawn. "Would you mind showing me my room, John?" she asked quietly, feeling a little awkward all of a sudden.

John nodded curtly as he climbed to his feet as he said; "How about you let me take your suitcase upstairs first and then I'll show you your room?"

She nodded. "Sounds good," she agreed.

John didn't respond as he simply turned and went to do as he said while she remained on the couch silently berating herself over that moment of awkwardness between her and John. Why did she hesitate over asking him to show her the room she'd be staying in?—yes, John was an extremely good looking man and she'd be a liar if she said he didn't affect her, but she was only asking him to show her to her room that she would be staying in alone. It wasn't like she was asking him to join her.

He was back after a few minutes. "After I help you upstairs: I'll bring you a bottle of water and Tylenol so if you want to take some medicine for your ankle you can," he murmured gently.

"Thanks, that would be great," she said, pushing back her thoughts as she climbed to her feet. "Oh, uh, would you mind grabbing my phone too. My son is supposed to text sometime," she asked, despising she was even asking for that much help, and he nodded. She mumbled 'thanks' and she used the crutch to get to the stairs and glanced at John as she realized he was going to help her up them. "I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?" he asked, furrowing his brows with a glance at his stairs.

"Yea, what did you do to get upstairs when you injured your foot?" she questioned, pointing out he had to navigate the stairs himself before.

"I slept on the couch," he admitted.

Oh, well she didn't want to do that. "I can do this," she assured him, feeling confident before turning and began her slow trek up the stairs. They weren't steep and there were about ten to fifteen of them. She took her good ole' sweet time going up the stairs and John had come up behind her following.

Once she reached the top she was happy with herself. John sidestepped her and wouldn't quite meet her gaze. "This way," he instructed roughly as he led her down the hall. There were a couple other doors that were open but dark. He led her to one that had a light on.

Joss whistled as she entered the guest room. "This is nice. Did you buy this home built or did you build it yourself?" she asked as she took in the large sized room. He fit a queen sized mattress in it which would be plenty roomy enough for her. There was a TV up here too that was wall-mounted, a four drawer dresser, and a couple nightstands with some antique looking lamps. All in all she'd feel comfortable in here to sleep.

John set her cell phone, the Tylenol and the bottled water on the nightstand closest to the door. "Bought it." he answered shortly.

Joss smiled, back to the one or two word answers, huh. "I can tell," she replied readily, not surprised in the least. John looked at her questioningly as he moved to meet her in the hall. "You just don't seem to want many visitors so I doubted you would have built a home with a guest room," she explained.

John laughed. Truly laughed and she liked the sound. It was masculine, deep, and quite sexy. "No Detective, I don't tend to want anyone to stay too long. Everything in here was designed by the former owners: I didn't even want to change the paint colors except for my room. They chose a god-awful blood red color but otherwise the previous couple had excellent taste."

"Umph," Joss sounded. She didn't blame him for painting over that color.

John nodded as he motioned at the room she was staying in. "When I bought this home this room wasn't even furnished for the longest time as I didn't know what I wanted to do with it. The other bedroom which is bigger than this, I made into a workout room. I had no plans on this room until a friend stayed the night here and had to sleep on the couch." he said.

Joss finally got him talking and it was right before bed. Darn it!

The smile slipped from his lips as he cleared his throat. "You don't have your own bathroom but its right next door. It's a full bath so you can take a shower or bath whenever you'd like," he commented, bringing them back at the task at hand as he stepped back and flipped a light switch on in a room that was right directly next to the bedroom she would be staying in.

Joss looked down the hall. "Where's your room?" she asked.

He turned and pointed it out. "It's down the hall and the last door to the left." he answered as she followed his finger. "The television does have cable so you can watch some TV up here if you want," he added drawing her thoughts away from his bedroom that she wanted to see and back to her room. "Remote is on the nightstand."

"Thanks…."

John nodded. "Uh, do you need more pillows or blankets?" he asked clumsily.

Joss wondered if she could ask him to keep her warm tonight and she felt a zing at the thought. She turned to look at the bed and saw there were a few pillows on the queen bed and a warm comforter making it up, before looking back into his eyes.

"I'll be fine," she sighed instead.

"Goodnight, Joss," he mumbled.

Joss smiled. "Goodnight," she responded readily.

John turned around, heading for his bedroom in the back and she stayed out in the hall just to catch a small glimpse of his bedroom. From the little she could see as he flicked the light on before he closed the door, it was painted a nice taupe color and had dark hardwood floors. Joss pouted a little as she entered her bedroom because she didn't get a real tour, but there was always tomorrow because she was truly tired.

She hobbled over to the suitcase that he rested on a knee-high chest that was at the foot of the bed. Joss yawned again as she unzipped her large suitcase and began rummaging through it to find her jammies and her toiletries bag. She gathered them up in her one arm as she pivoted with the help of the crutch and made her way out of the bedroom and to the bathroom. Joss caught sight of light emitting from under his closed door before entering the bathroom and proceeded to first remove her earrings and her necklace before changing into her pale paisley pink fleece pajama pants and an oversized black tee that had pink lettering that read: I Love Sleep.

She felt comfy already. She tied her hair up high in a nice tight bun and would have to fix it tomorrow. Joss rummaged in her bag and found her makeup remover wipes and cleansed her face before brushing her teeth. She left the toiletries bag along with her necklace and earrings in the bathroom before gathering up her clothing and got her crutch under her arm before opening the door with another resounding yawn.

Joss exited and looked to her right when she heard a door open and her relaxed state went up in flames as her body felt unbelievably hot and she dropped her clothes she had been clutching. John exited his bedroom in nothing but his jeans with the button and belt buckle undone.

Thankfully he hadn't said anything because she couldn't talk, couldn't think of a thing at the moment as she stared at him. John had some really nice defined biceps and his chest was wide and muscular but not bulgy. He looked like he worked out to remain healthy and in shape; not to bench press a small car. He had a flat stomach with a delectable naval that included light hair that tapered down and disappearing into his jeans visible until the zipper, that she desperately wished would unzip somehow.

Joss tried to unglue her tongue from the roof of her mouth as she stared which she felt faintly relieved that he was doing much the same. Although she was sure what he saw was completely different from what she was seeing right now. Of course, for the second time in one damn day she had to look godawful while he was looking like walking sex! It just wasn't fair; why couldn't she be like those women that looked like they didn't spend one minute in front of the mirror but looked like a Victoria Secret model?

She watched as he moved close and bent to pick up her clothes for her which snapped her out of her stupor. Joss scrambled to grab her panties. No way was she about to let John see dirty underwear! Nope.

John picked up her sheer black lace bra and her sweater for her. She swallowed hard as he straightened as he held the undergarment up, letting it dangle from his index finger and stared at it. He cleared his throat as he handed her-her bra and sweater. "I, uh, just wanted to check to make sure the doors were locked and Bear was settled in with food and water. Sorry to have startled you," he murmured without making any eye contact as he walked past her.

"Oh, uh, yea," she said, then groaned inwardly as she stammered incoherently. And she stared at his retreating form as he descended down the stairs. Joss entered the bedroom, flung her clothes on the floor closing the door behind her and leaned up against it. "Damn," she moaned.

* * *

John lied on his side before he punched the pillow beneath his head in irritation; his eyes staring at the alarm clock, which ticked off another minute, resided on the nightstand. It was just after three in the morning. He grumbled before rolling onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. Sleep was eluding him with his erection hard and straining against his underwear that he normally didn't wear to bed. But he had felt it was a necessity with someone spending the night here, a woman that he didn't know and who didn't know him, even if it was in another room.

Joss had looked so unassumingly sexy in those pink pajamas pants and that oversized shirt that was hiding a killer body that he knew she had, as he had inspected it (against his will) thoroughly earlier. He didn't know what the hell those curve-hugging tight pants she wore were but he liked them. But he couldn't deny that he had felt an immediate response at the idea of tugging the large baggy pink pants and black shirt off her, like she was a gift he was getting to unwrap. John wished for the umpteenth time that he hadn't seen her or that bra right before heading into his room for the night because the moment he saw that flimsy scrap of material a company called a bra he then envisioned Joss in it, and when he envisioned Joss in it he thought about peeling it off her to find her, what he suspected were perfect, breasts. He then imagined rubbing his cheek against the puckered pebble before sucking on her nipples until they were tender and she was caught between pleasure and pain. He bet her nipples were a shade darker than her skin and she was such lovely dark caramel.

Then he would lick his tongue down her flat stomach to dip it in her belly button, circling it, feeling her grow restless beneath him before moving down and finding her private hair tickling his chin. And then he would spread her legs to inhale her arousal, before he spread her hidden lips to find the swollen clit that was waiting for him to lavish and pleasure. He'd lick her first playfully then tease her with his breath before he sucked her pretty little clit. He could almost hear her cries for more as he went down on her, the way her fingers would grip in his hair as he tongued her before teasing the wet slit feeling the wetness coat his tongue; imagining ramming his aching dick there. But he would deny himself because he would want her to come that way first: with his mouth sucking her over the edge, feeling the tremors wrack her as she came apart and screamed his name.

John groaned as those lascivious thoughts were making his dick harder, if possible, and he grabbed the pillow out from under his head and put it on his face trying to ignore the tension corded tight in his belly and groin. But nothing distracted him as he tried to figure out why he was reacting this way to her. Joss was different from the other women he was attracted too and if he was honest with himself, Joss's looks appealed to him more than Jessica's. Joss had a great ass, was petite, and had curves in all the right spots. Jessica had been tall and leggy. She used to wrap her long legs around his hips as he made love to her.

But with Joss he imagined taking her up against the wall, pinning her there and fucking her mercilessly; enjoying her crying his name in his ear as she came apart in his arms, before he pounded his way to his own orgasm. Jessica was about his height so he hadn't needed to hold her up; she simply had kept one foot on the floor while the other had been wrapped around his hip as they fucked standing up. But to get Joss at the right angle: he would need her up a good several inches and he found the idea of holding Joss up, possibly by the thighs, leaving her to clutch his shoulders, to fuck her dripping wet pussy so damn arousing.

John shuddered as he flipped the pillow onto the side of his king sized bed and flung the covers off his body. If he didn't do something he wasn't going to sleep at all tonight. He tended to get up by seven in the morning to do a jog outside when the weather was nice or on the treadmill when it wasn't, before he ate some breakfast. That routine was in jeopardy this morning. His nipples were hard, his pulse raced, and his dick throbbed madly in his underwear. He was so hard and aroused; pre-cum had stained the front of his boxer-briefs. But he didn't touch himself as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. As easy as it would be to stroke himself to completion right here and right now: he didn't want to have to clean his sheets or comforter tomorrow. Not with the woman, who brought him to this point, here. John climbed to his feet and headed for the bathroom.

He ran the water before getting it a nice tepid temperature, before he turned on the shower head and removed his underwear. His cock was rigid and erect as he stepped into the shower. John let the water run over him for a few moments before he wrapped his hand around his cock. He groaned: it wasn't going to take long to jerk off. He slowly stroked himself and moaned in the back of his throat as he rested his other hand against the tile to keep him upright as he closed his eyes. And instead of it being his hand wrapped around his aching dick; it was Joss's and he gasped as it felt like fire raced down his spine.

Joss ran her hand down to the base of his cock and then back up to the tip lazily stroking him and he shuddered in need as she began pumping her tight fist up and down the thick stem of his penis. Again and again as the tempo sped up as he growled in the back of his throat as his orgasm loomed just out of reach. Then he was there, with a burst of light behind his eyes as he came and he opened his eyes as he realized it was his own hand wrapped around his cock and not hers. He leaned his forearm against the tile as his whole body went limp from the orgasm as a few lasting tremors wracked his body. It had been so vivid. He gave his cock a few more strokes before pushing away from the tile and proceeded to shower and clean off before shutting the water off.

John climbed out snatching a towel off the heated towel rack and dried himself off. He dropped the towel on the floor and grabbed his underwear, tugging them back on. He exited the bathroom exhausted and hoping that without the throbbing erection he might be able to finally sleep. He padded over to his beckoning bed and collapsed onto it, stomach first, and as his head hit the pillow he was finally asleep.

* * *

AN: John is having a little bit of trouble turning off ;D

Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Joss had a tough time sleeping last night. She could blame it on her foot hurting and sore muscles from when she tightened up as she slid into the ditch. But she knew the real reason: John. That moment they shared last night before bed when he had been in nothing but his jeans that were clinging to his hips by sheer willpower. And she had thought about undoing the zipper and letting those jeans fall and find out if he had as big of a penis as he had feet and hands. That lone thought had been seared in her mind. Then she thought about what it would be like in bed with John; she bet John had a sensitive spot on his body and she had grown wet with desire as she thought about finding it and then assault it to her heart's content. Was it his shoulder or his neck or someplace obvious like his nipples that had him moaning like crazy? Or was it someplace completely shocking like: sucking his toes? But she wouldn't want to suck his toes when his cock would be resting right in front of her.

She sighed as she pushed the comforter off her body needing to get going and take a shower to wake her ass up. Joss stood up on her good foot before testing her bum ankle seeing how much weight she could put on it. She winced the moment she put even a little. Joss sat on the edge of the bed and undid the wrap and checked her ankle. It didn't seem as swollen as before but it still smarted. She looked at the bottle of Tylenol which she'd take tonight after dinner just like she had last night.

She re-wrapped it with the elastic bandage grabbed the crutch and got to her feet. She hobbled over to her suitcase and found her aqua blue Chiffon half-sleeve blouse. Joss smiled to herself as she thought it matched John's eyes and told herself that it was _not_ the reason she was choosing to wear it today. She grabbed her skinny jeans and exited the bedroom.

Her eyes immediately shifted for his bedroom and saw the door open. She sniffed the air and smelled coffee. Joss needed some so much. But first her shower, then coffee. It would make her feel more human after a night of little sleep.

Her shower was quick; she dried herself off and proceeded to get ready for the day. She dressed, first drawing her bra on; it was another balconette which brought the memory of last night with John picking it up to the forefront of her mind. She rarely wore them when she was working but whenever she had a day off she chose to wear the balconette bras because they just made her feel sexy. Now that she was out of work she wore them all the time. Joss forced the thoughts of last night away as she plugged her flat iron in and put it at the highest setting before pulling her jeans and shirt on. Joss buttoned her top except for the top one liking the hint of cleavage and then began applying her makeup. Once that was complete she did her hair which took a while then put her necklace back on but left off the earrings.

Joss leaned back when she was finished and liked her ensemble: she was wearing something casual but nice, not overtly sexy but feminine. Once completely happy (especially with her hair) she turned and hobbled out.

After a few long minutes on the staircase she entered the kitchen and sighed as John was wearing black Adidas track pants and a smoky gray fitted long sleeve shirt that highlighted the fact that he had a wide muscular chest with nice biceps and a flat stomach, and he was barefoot. His hair was combed but remained free of hair care products and it looked like he skipped shaving. All in all he was just scrumptious to look at and she did.

Joss forced her gaze off him and shifted it to Bear, who was off to his side chowing down on his breakfast. John looked up from his phone as he held a mug of coffee in the other. "Good morning," he murmured quietly.

She smiled as she moved into the kitchen further. "Good morning to you too," she replied.

"I wasn't sure if you're a coffee drinker…." he trailed off as they both saw the cup he had pulled out for her.

"Definitely a coffee drinker: a dab of milk, no sugar." she reassured him as she made her way to the coffee maker where the delicious smelling coffee sat. "Did it finally stop snowing?" she asked as she poured coffee into the cup.

"It did but you don't want to see how much snow we got," he admitted.

Joss turned, pausing from opening the refrigerator in search of the milk. Her eyes zeroed in on the sliding door near his small table in the corner of the kitchen. She couldn't tell from where she stood but coffee took precedence at the moment as she turned to the fridge to pull the milk out.

Once it was made she took a much needed sip before she carried her mug with her to go gaze out the sliding door. "Oh my god," she whispered. Snow was pressed up against the door. "How much snow did we get?"

"According to the local news station we got twenty inches, so it's safe to assume you're stuck here for the foreseeable future," John replied softly.

Joss looked at John startled. "Did you say 'twenty inches of snow'?" she asked, making sure she heard him right.

"Yes, I did."

Joss took another sip of coffee, mulling over the implications. That meant she was going to be at John's for the next couple of days at the very least. The state was going to need to dig out. She wasn't upset with the turn of events, maybe for the fact that her deposit for the cabin was going to go down the drain, but the person she rented from would refund her the weekend.

"I'm shocked we didn't lose electricity from the wind last night. It was howling pretty bad," she said softly, then grimaced because that basically admitted to not sleeping much last night.

"We didn't but even if we did I have a backup generator just in case. Losing electricity once during a cold winter day here was more than enough to convince me to get one. And we hit a new record cold yesterday and we are going to be barely better today," he murmured. Thankfully he didn't ask her why she couldn't sleep last night, probably chalking it up to the fact of being in a strange house and Joss was more than willing to let him go on believing that assumption.

They stood together staring out the sliding door, sipping their coffee and content with silence. It wasn't snowing but the wind was still blowing pretty hard and was kicking up the stationary snow; which was going to play havoc on the roads that the snow plows did manage to do.

John glanced at her. "I'm going to head out and plow my driveway after breakfast. My groundskeeper is a friend and he comes once a week but I forbade him from coming on the holidays so he could spend the day with his son." he said with a hint of a smile. Lionel hadn't been happy that he threatened to fire him if he showed his face before 2017.

John found Fusco in a bad way. Afterwards Jessica, Grace, and Finch joked that he always found strays that needed saving. He had found Shaw after she tried to steal Jessica's purse; he kicked her ass but Shaw had been a fun opponent and as Jessica helped ice Shaw's black eye while he grilled them all steaks she was intrigued by his combat style. They learned she lost her Marine career after her short temper caused her to be discharged. He promised to teach her to fight like him if she learned to control her anger. John got her a job with Machine Protective Services, taught her to fight as he learned during recruitment into the Special Forces and Shaw had thrived, doing as promised and learned how to control her anger. And then there was Fusco. He was glad that he could help turn Lionel's life around so he could remain in his son's life. He had also gotten him a job at Machine Protective Services, knowing an ex-cop could come in handy for certain clientele. He met Lionel about a month before Jessica died. And ever since he moved out here after she died Lionel felt the need to come and help somehow. Lionel claimed it was to try to repay him for what he did but John didn't see it as a debt to be owed, but nothing he said would sway Fusco, so he agreed to let him take care of the grounds for him.

"I can help." she offered, dragging him from his thoughts. He shifted and faced her fully and she felt small again in his presence because she had to lean her head back to even look him in the eyes. "You need your front porch and few steps done, I'm sure if you have a snow blower than surely you have a shovel," she theorized.

"You're down a foot." John argued.

She smiled. "I am but I'll make sure to put all my weight on my good foot and the shovel will act as my pseudo crutch. Besides my foot is feeling a little better." she cajoled. Ha, fight that.

"The swelling has gone down but there is no way you can put your snow boot on." he murmured as his gaze shifted to her foot.

Joss thought quickly. "You said you injured your foot so I am assuming you were to wear a protective boot or shoe to wear while your foot healed. And if you still had the crutches than I'm assuming you still have the protective boot," she reasoned. It was a good deduction if she said so herself; he was the one that gave her this crutch.

His eyes narrowed as he looked in her eyes. "I do," he conceded.

Joss smiled brightly. "Well there you go; problem solved, I can help," she insisted playfully.

"You're a visitor in my home. I do not expect someone who is a guest to do housework," John countered. Crap, he had another one. If she didn't know any better, John enjoyed verbally sparring with her.

"An unwanted one: remember, you just have to tolerate me and you won't let me pay, so I should help out a little since I'm eating your food and using your electricity." she said before adding, "And this is something I can't hurt myself on." she said making a joke about yesterday.

"Forgot you eavesdropped," he mumbled.

"On a conversation with your dog," Joss commented with a laugh. "And another thing. This is war: us against the weather. We have to work as a team to be triumphant," she added.

He exhaled. "What would you like for breakfast?" he asked.

"Wait, does that mean I won that round?" Joss demanded.

"I'll pick and choose my battles with a former Army Interrogator and Homicide Detective," he murmured with a small shy smile.

Joss liked his smile. She wanted to see more of it. "Good, and as for breakfast: you pick, John." she replied.

"It's actually up to you."

Joss shook her head. "No, I'm in your home so it's up to you." she countered.

John sighed. "Are we going to argue about everything?" he questioned.

"We are if you're going to insist on trying to have me decide everything because I'm a guest." she huffed. "I don't want to impose on you any more than I already have, John, so going out of your way to make me something lavish for breakfast isn't necessary."

"It wasn't going to be lavish," he grumbled.

Joss smiled. "So what do you normally have, John?" she asked pretending she didn't hear him.

"Some days just eggs and hash-browns while others just cereal," he answered.

"What kind of cereal do you have?" she asked finding something that wasn't intensive. She didn't want to shovel snow with something heavy on her stomach.

John moved over to a pantry door and opened it and she saw it was full. At least he was well stocked since it looked like they were snowed in. "I have Frosted Flakes and Cheerios." he murmured as he moved some things around.

"I'll take Frosted Flakes: because they're 'grrrreat!" she said and John turned to look at her and her face felt heated at how ridiculously corny that sounded. "Oh god; that sounded better in my head," she muttered.

John smiled again before he pulled them out for her. They ate quietly together, talking about random things to keep conversation light. Joss didn't want to push too hard on John. He seemed naturally a quiet man but it was amplified with the isolation he sought after his wife died. She just had to choose the right topics to get him to open up and feel more comfortable around her. Joss didn't want him to simply have to 'tolerate' her presence.

John had gone upstairs and got the protective shoe for her before they bundled up for the cold temperatures and wind. They headed to a door off to the other side of his staircase that lead to his two car attached garage. She had been wondering where it lead and forgot about his attached garage.

Joss paused as she saw his car. The Harley Davidson next to it was actually spot on and she could see John on it. In his tight jeans and maybe chaps on…

John noticed her surprise as he turned to look at her. "Wasn't what you were expecting huh?" he wondered genuinely.

Joss shrugged, camouflaging her reaction to her mental image of John in chaps…preferably leather ones that sort of pinpointed your gaze to his crotch. "No, I have to admit I was expecting a sports car," she acknowledged. She hadn't been anticipating a simple black Dodge Charger.

He stiffened slightly and it was Joss's turn to take notice. "The person that hit your wife was driving one, wasn't he?" she murmured gently, unintentionally bringing up bad memories for John.

John nodded. "It was a red Camaro. It was totally unrecognizable and Jessica didn't stand a chance in her Impala. Luckily they were both dead instantly because thinking Jessica had suffered…" he trailed off.

John cleared his throat and turned away from her. She could see the pain on his face. But all thoughts about trying to say something to help him grieve and move on faded when he opened the garage door and as it raised from the automatic opener snow collapsed inward and John stepped back so it didn't bury his legs.

Joss groaned as the cold air whipped into the already cool garage as the door fully opened and they both stared down his long driveway. He turned to look at her and the earlier anguish on his face was gone as he motioned at the sea of white before them.

"I guess it's time to get to work." she said with a sigh.

* * *

It took a good three and a half hours to plow the driveway and it still wasn't fully complete. It didn't take nearly as long for her to do his porch and steps but it did take a while with the wind sending the snow right back onto the steps and porch ruining all her hard work.

Joss was depressed when she ventured out off of his porch, because she saw her car basically covered under a mountain of snow in his ditch with barely a tire seen. Well, she had been depressed until John saw her and practically chased her off his driveway, especially when he pulled the guilt trip on her about her foot and if she fell and got hurt he'd never forgive himself. John sure knew what to say to get her to comply, much to her annoyance that he had her figured out so quickly while he was still a giant enigma. But she felt bad for him because he was working so hard on his driveway and the atrocious wind kept playing havoc with his work.

So while he worked she had gone into his home removing her coat, gloves, and snowboot/protective-booty and then headed for the kitchen and rummaged through his pantry and cabinets in search of hot chocolate mix or if he didn't have any than she'd have to make him some coffee. John looked frozen solid.

 _Well you could always warm him up with your body heat._

Joss groaned as the thought struck her which sounded suspiciously like something Shaw would say. If she told Shaw she was fighting an attraction to a man that was single and gorgeous Shaw would disown her.

She continued her raid of his kitchen in search of something she probably wasn't going to find when her cell that was sitting on the countertop rang. Joss quickly looked to see if it was her son. It wasn't. It was Felicia.

Joss answered immediately. "Hey Felicia,"

"Hey Joss, I just wanted to call and make sure you got to the cabin safe and sound, then wish you a Happy New Year. Shaw and I are going to party like nobody's business." Felicia said with a laugh.

"Happy New Year to you too, is Shaw with you?" Joss asked, hoping not so she could talk to Felicia alone about John. Felicia would be able to give her sound advice while Shaw would just tell her to jump John's bones.

"Yes, let me put you on speakerphone," Felicia said warmly before Joss could ask her not to.

"Hey Carter," Shaw called out.

"Hey Shaw," Joss responded readily. "Hope you guys have a nice New Year's Eve and Day."

"I'm hoping to find someone hot to ring in the New Year with," Shaw said.

"So did you arrive safely to your cabin, Joss?" Felicia asked.

Joss smiled in success when she finally found the hot chocolate mix. "Well if you consider landing your car in a ditch safely then yes."

"Oh my god, are you alright?" Felicia demanded.

"She has to be, Moreno, or she wouldn't be talking to us right now. Unless she's a ghost that can answer her cell phone, or better yet: the undead. That would be so kickass," Shaw commented.

"Shut up Shaw; Joss, answer me!" Felicia commanded with a tone that when she was still her boss meant she was going to give her some sort of reprimand.

Joss chuckled. "I'm not a ghost and I'm not a part of the zombie apocalypse. I'm fine, Felicia. The snow was so bad up here that I lost all traction with the road and slid right into a ditch. And now my car is buried under like twenty inches of snow." she explained as she now started her search for mugs for the hot chocolate.

"At least you're okay; but did you make it to your cabin?" Felicia asked.

"No, but I am someplace safe and warm," Joss answered.

"So where are you, Carter, at a motel or something?" Shaw asked.

Joss sighed. "Well I am actually at the person's house that the ditch belongs to," she said carefully.

"That's vague: who is it?" Shaw demanded, smelling blood in the water. Joss groaned inwardly. "It's a man isn't it?"

"Yes,"

"Is he hot?" Shaw demanded.

"Shaw!—our good friend was in an accident and all you care about is if she is with a hot man and stuck in close proximity with him…on second thought, Joss answer Shaw!" Felicia ordered readily.

Joss huffed. "Such great friends you guys are; shouldn't you be worried about my safety, not with the looks of the man that I'm stranded with?!" she said with exaggerated anger.

"You can take care of yourself and you haven't left his place, so that means you're comfortable there; I'm worried about your vagina being full of cobwebs if you don't get laid soon," Shaw answered, immediately making Felicia giggle and Joss curse.

"Oh come on Joss, you got to admit that Shaw's right, you can take care of yourself so we don't have to worry about your safety with this guy," Felicia cajoled, sensing their friend wasn't going to give up any info if they didn't persuade her. Joss could be tight-lipped when she wanted to be. "And we're just worried about you: you haven't been with a man since your ex-husband and that was a while ago," Felicia added. Paul was an idiot for doing what he did to Joss who was an amazing woman. Her friend had been hurt over her marriage failing and hadn't even looked twice at a man since as all her focus had been on Taylor. But now maybe there was some hope, especially since Joss was being a little vague with the details which could mean Joss was into this guy.

"I know and I really do appreciate the concern," Joss admitted.

Shaw spoke up again, "So is he hot?"

Joss clenched her teeth together as she made the hot chocolate. "What does it matter: I'll only be here for a few days and then John and I will never see each other again?" Joss muttered.

"That's perfect for a no strings attached fling, Carter!" Shaw exclaimed.

Joss groaned. "How did I know you were going to say that?! Shaw, we barely know each other," she tried to reason.

"So you've thought about it." Shaw stated.

Joss exhaled in anger. "Yes, okay; yes I've thought about it, but I'm not you, Shaw: I don't have flings and I'm not really cut out for them either!" she snapped in irritation.

Shaw wasn't put off in the slightest. "Maybe it's time to start," she suggested.

"You don't get it, Shaw. This guy is still reeling over the loss of his wife that died tragically. All of his dreams blew up in his face and I don't think he has recovered yet, which I can relate to," she said quickly. Joss was still recovering from her near death experience.

"That makes him the perfect candidate because he's not looking for love and he probably hasn't had sex in a while," Shaw argued.

Felicia sighed. "Shaw, leave Joss alone; Joss is old enough to decide what she wants to do," she reprimanded.

Joss felt validated. "Thank you, Felicia," she said sincerely.

"Shaw just wants you happy, Joss," Felicia murmured playing the mediator for her friends again.

"Thank you, Moreno," Shaw piped up before addressing Joss. "But can you at least tell us what he looks like?"

"He's tall," Joss offered, choosing the vaguest thing about John.

Shaw snorted. "Oh he's tall: yea, I'm getting a real clear picture in my mind," she retorted dryly. "Come on, give real details, Carter! Tell me the size hardware he's carrying around."

Joss laughed as her indignation faded while she finished making the hot chocolate before saying, "Think George Clooney," she said, resigned to the fact that Shaw would always be juvenile.

"Okay," Felicia sounded.

"Only younger, taller, sexier, and with incredible blue eyes," she answered and both Felicia and Shaw made obscene sounds but she heard a door open and close. "He's coming in, I gotta go," Joss said as she hung up on her friends before Shaw could make a dirty comment just as John entered the kitchen, rubbing his hands together. He paused and she hoped he didn't see how flustered she was from her friends. She heard her phone buzz with incoming texts. Oh god it had to be Shaw. She forced a smile as she grabbed a mug to hand him it. "I made you hot chocolate to warm you up. I hope you don't mind I went rummaging through your kitchen."

John shook his head. "No, it's-it's fine. Thanks, I appreciate this," he mumbled a little like he was unaccustomed to someone doing something for him. She smiled warmly as she picked up hers to follow him into the living room for the fire. She wasn't even going to look at her texts until later because she didn't want any of Shaw's ideas running through her mind while she tried to be in John's presence. Joss just didn't trust herself not to take up on one of Shaw's crude suggestions.

* * *

AN: Happy Valentine's Day :) Next chapter is New Year's Eve night and who knows what it could bring ;D

Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

They had a nice afternoon leading up to New Year Eve's night. After they talked and drank their hot chocolate; John had disappeared when her son called to talk. While he was gone, Bear had lounged beside her on the couch and rested his head on her lap allowing her to pet him. Once her son hung up she had gone in search for John and found him in the kitchen making dinner. And it had been a wonderful dinner too: chicken parmesan with steamed broccoli and French bread on the side. John had produced red wine for the occasion. Coupled with the delicious food, tasty wine, they had a very enjoyable conversation causing her to momentarily forget that they just met and this wasn't an intimate dinner date with a man she was attracted to because John was the man she was stranded with when her car slid into his ditch. She wondered if fate intervened on their behalf.

It was that thought that plagued her the entire rest of the evening.

Did she really believe in fate?—she had been a firm believer that one made their own destiny. But that belief changed the moment she survived a gunshot wound to the chest; beating all the odds that said she wasn't going to pull through. But did she believe that two people could be fated to meet?—that her and John were supposed to meet; she wasn't sure.

"Thinking about your son?" Joss blinked and shifted her gaze off the television with the holiday special they were watching and onto John after he spoke. "You grew quiet. Are you thinking about your son?" he asked again.

John didn't point out that she had been singing along with some of the songs she knew because he had been worried if he had commented on it that she might stop. He had enjoyed listening to her; Joss had such a soft and harmonious voice, she could carry a tune and he was hoping she was going to sing along some more.

"Uh…no, I know my son is having fun at his party with his dad. I'm sure he'll text me after midnight strikes to wish me a Happy New Year," she murmured.

Joss hoped that satisfied him, and he didn't dig further for why she grew quiet. She had been so lost in thoughts about John and fate that she hadn't realized she had grown so quiet for him to notice. It hadn't helped that after seeing the texts from Shaw all she could think about was sex all afternoon and evening. The raunchy things Shaw suggested she should do to John were blush inducing; not that she even needed Shaw's wicked ideas since her own mind conjured up some possibilities all on its own.

Joss shifted trying to alleviate the pressure between her legs as the racy thoughts crossed her mind again. They sat together on his couch, watching the countdown special, quietly talking. Thankfully John had let her change the subject, and Bear was asleep in his doggie bed since it well past his bedtime. It was so interesting to learn that John really had no clue about pop culture. John admitted to watching mainly documentaries, sports, action movies, and the Military Channel. He didn't know what Scandal was, which wasn't shocking, but what was: was he didn't know what The Voice was. She almost told him that they were going to be watching it when it aired again to get him cultured. He didn't even know who Adam Levine was which should be against the law! But she stopped herself because she wasn't going to be here when the show began airing again so she couldn't force the show onto him or not. And that left her feeling oddly sad.

The countdown to the New Year begun so she silently counted down with Ryan Seacrest and the crowd and as they finally hit one she turned to look at John: "Welcome 2017! Happy New Year, John!" she said and acted on impulse; leaning over and brushed her lips across his in what was to be a sweet kiss just to ring in the New Year.

Joss nearly moaned out loud because his lips were so damn soft, softer than she imagined; as she pulled back reluctantly after a too brief kiss and caught his blue gaze as he sat staring at her. She half debated on dipping in for another kiss but not quick or teasing; but she didn't get that chance because John leaned in and captured her lips with his, his left hand lifting to cup her cheek gently.

She sighed as his lips were warm and sure on hers, not hard or demanding but sensual and it made her want more. Wanted to part his lips to taste him, wanted him to taste her, let their tongues tangle and explore, and wanted to feel his hard body resting against her soft one. But her desire for more went unheeded as John didn't deepen it nor allow it to spiral out of control because after a moment he pulled back abruptly and she saw surprise written on his handsome face. Like he hadn't meant to kiss her or hadn't meant to enjoy it. She wasn't sure which but hoped for the latter.

"Happy New Year, Joss," he murmured, averting his gaze and frowned as he looked at the television as the camera panned to the crowd as everyone kept kissing. He cleared his throat, "I, uh, I'll go get us another couple beers." John said as he climbed to his feet.

Joss watched him go; when he disappeared from view Joss leaned her head back against his cushy couch, and rubbed her hands through her hair. What the hell was she doing?—kissing a man she barely knew. They were stuck here together in his home thanks to the worst blizzard to hit the east coast in the last fifty years. But even though she invaded his home and he was a little stiff he had been the gracious host: offering her food, engrossing conversation (when she could get him to talk), getting her an amazing guest room with a bathroom. He even went down to get her suitcase for her yesterday and got her a crutch so she could get around without a problem. John was a very interesting man and fun to argue with. Not to mention downright gorgeous and could fuel some sex filled dreams.

Her gaze slid off the TV screen to the hallway that led to his kitchen. It was taking an awful long time to get some beers out of a fridge and come back. Joss harrumphed as she climbed to her feet to go seek him out. Bear lifted his head and deemed it not worth his time to follow as he laid his head back down, and kicked his legs out to get comfortable in his doggie bed. She settled the crutch under her arm and made the slow trek to his kitchen rehearsing what she wanted to say to him. Should she tell him that she was attracted to him or was it better to just play it off? She wasn't the type of person to not tell the truth and the truth was that she was attracted to John but she also didn't want awkwardness between them since they had another day or two together. Maybe she should wing it; see what he said and go from there?

Joss entered the kitchen and saw he had the beers out on the kitchen island that he was standing behind, even uncapped for them, but seemed to be dragging his feet. John looked up and she forced a smile, "Figured to stretch my legs," she muttered.

John nodded. "Yea," he agreed before awkward silence filled the room.

Joss exhaled in annoyance with them both. Sure they were marooned together but they surely could act as adults around each other. They weren't some giggly adolescents. Her eyes raked over him: nope, there was definitely nothing boyish about John at all.

"Look I don't want any awkwardness between us because we were just getting to know each other and feel comfortable together. Yes, we kissed but it was because we were ringing in the New Year," she announced.

John lifted his gaze and she saw how intense they were. "Yours was," he agreed solemnly.

"We got caught up in the moment John, that's all it was," she said.

John moved close and she felt suddenly like all the air in the room had been zapped. "Is it Joss?" he whispered.

She didn't back down as she tilted her chin up and her gaze slipped down to his soft pink lips before raising it once more. Well if he was going to light the match; she'd bring the gasoline. "You tell me, John; is there more to it than just getting caught in the moment?" she challenged.

His eyes were intent on her; on her eyes, then her lips, before he stepped back and Joss felt like she could breathe once more and effectively breaking the moment between them. "Let's just forget it ever happened," he murmured as he handed her-her beer.

Joss half-smiled, what did she expect: John to admit that he kissed her because he was attracted to her? She was beginning to suspect that she wasn't the only one battling an unwanted attraction here and didn't quite know what to do about it. She held her beer up. "Forget what?" she wondered with a smirk.

John softly chuckled as they made their way back to the living room.

* * *

Joss couldn't forget it. She sat on the bed in her room, in her jammies, with the television on, sleepless as it was nearing two in the morning. They had both decided to retire to their rooms not long after that kiss. It was between them now because she had been hyperaware of sitting close to him as they watched the special for a little while longer until both escaped from the tension that swirled between them. She just knew she was going to be in for another restless night because it was all due to that kiss, not hers, but his; because his held a promise of more. His included a soft touch of his hand on her cheek which if she closed her eyes; she could feel the imprint of the warm palm pressed there.

She set the remote for the TV down after turning it off and reached over to grab her phone to check to see if her son texted her. He had. Joss smiled as she read the cute little text with a picture of him and Hayley with 2017 glasses on their faces. She texted them back including an emoji blowing a kiss.

Joss nearly groaned as she saw she had six unread texts from Shaw alone. Great, what did she want?—hadn't she heard enough of her bawdy suggestions. She began reading them and sighed with relief that it seemed that Shaw had decided to take pity on her and not text her anymore of her _ideas_.

She texted her friend back and frowned when her phone rang nearly instantly. It was Shaw. Joss reluctantly answered it, looking at the closed door. "Happy New Year, Shaw," she murmured quietly.

"Yea, whatever; tell me you slept with this guy," Shaw demanded in greeting.

Joss rolled her eyes. "Yea, I slept with him, that's why I'm talking to you," she replied dryly.

Shaw snorted. "Okay, so you haven't slept with him yet but at least tell me you are thinking about it!"

"Haven't you heard a thing I said: we barely know each other?!" Joss stated with a huff. Indignation would serve her good because she truly didn't want to accidentally admit that they kissed. Shaw would be all over that and double down on her texts that were M rated.

"You know this guy longer than I know any of my bed partners," Shaw pointed out.

"But I'm not you. I don't pick up random people in a bar, Shaw," she argued before she sighed. "Can we just agree to disagree: tell me what you and Felicia did to ring in the new year instead of harassing me about accosting the man that I'm stranded with."

"We had drinks at a bar. Felicia went home while I am still waiting for someone hot to walk through the door, but no such luck," Shaw complained awfully close to whining. "I need sex and no one here gets me going."

Joss winced. "Remember that conversation we had about giving too much information, Shaw?" she asked quietly.

"Yea. What of it?"

"This is one of those times." Joss explained.

"Fine, let's talk about you: so what did you do if it wasn't this hot guy?" Shaw demanded.

Joss leaned back into the pillows with a shake of her head. "We talked," Joss started and laughed as Shaw made obnoxious snoring sounds. "It might sound boring to you but I enjoyed our conversation."

"Yea but why talk when you can have hot sex."

That was a good question but she refused to acknowledge it. "Have you ever considered that maybe talking can be a prelude to sex? It can be a form of foreplay, Shaw," Joss stated and then realized what it sounded like. "Not in our case but in others." she added quickly.

Shaw snickered. "Oh, really: okay, so how is this guy's conversational skills, Carter?" she asked sardonically.

"Well John is kind of quiet and on the shy side but once you find a topic of conversation he'll touch on he's exemplary." Joss said with a fond smile.

"Sounds kind of like someone I know but the quiet ones are typically animals in the sack," Shaw concluded. "Thank god, you need to get laid by someone that knows what he's doing down there; orgasms galore will make up for lack of them for the last decade or so."

"Thanks, Shaw," Joss muttered.

"Hey, I'm just telling the truth; when was the last time you had sex?"

"Let me see, half past none of your business," Joss stated dryly.

Shaw made a sound. "Someone seriously hot just came in, Carter. I got to go get me some of that; so a piece of advice: get some yourself, and now Happy New Year to me."

Joss pulled the phone away from her ear with a look of disgust as Shaw hung up on her. "Ew. I need to have another talk with her about giving too much information," she said to herself as she flung the phone onto the nightstand as she leaned back onto her back and stared up at the ceiling.

Now it was time to sleep. She shut her eyes and prayed slumber would come soon.

* * *

AN: Did someone ask for an extra helping of sexual tension?-well, here we go and this isn't even the worst of it :)

As always I thank you guys for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

John awoke early. Joss's door was closed the entire time while he entered the spare room with his workout equipment where he ran on the treadmill for an hour before heading for a shower; then downstairs to start breakfast. He was upset with himself. He had another restless night because of the kiss that he had tried to forget but couldn't. It hadn't even been all that passionate of a kiss and yet it left him reeling and wanting more. It was the first one he had since Jessica and he couldn't erase the feel of her lips under his nor diminish the growing desire to experience it again, but this time part her lips and explore her mouth with his tongue. But the memory of the kiss plaguing his mind wasn't the only reason he hadn't been able to sleep. He had to deal with another erection because the more he thought about the kiss the more he thought about kissing her elsewhere, which left him hard and aching.

He reached the bottom floor and smiled at Bear who sat at the foot of the stairs, wagging his tail immensely happy his master was awake. "Good morning Bear." he murmured to the dog and petted him lightly on the head.

Bear made a pleased sound in greeting. "Come on, let's get your breakfast and then you can go out and do your business," he stated and Bear barked in agreement. John led the dog into the kitchen and put his phone on his charger before moving to the cabinet left of the refrigerator. He tugged it open, producing Bear's dog food. Bear wagged his tail and whined impatiently. John smiled as he petted the dog on the head again before pouring the dog his food into his bowl. He put it down and Bear began chowing down immediately.

John blinked when his cell rang. He checked it and saw it was Harold; he answered it and put it on speakerphone. "Happy New Year, John," Finch said warmly.

He smiled. "Happy New Year to you too, Finch." he murmured to his friend, putting Bear's food away. "How's Grace?" he asked immediately. He had met Grace in Italy when he was stationed there during his time in the service. Grace had just been a junior in college, studying abroad, and after he stopped a man in his tracks as he harassed her apparently thinking, that thought no meant yes; they became fast friends. She chose well with Harold, who promised to never treat her wrong or he'd have to answer to him. But it wasn't even a worry because Harold was a good man and someone he genuinely liked and knew would treat Grace with the respect she deserved.

"Still asleep," Harold admitted with love shining in his voice.

"Was the party an overwhelming success?" John asked. He knew they had invited Nathan and his son along with Lionel and Lee, and a lot of friends for a party at their place. Harold wasn't much into partying but he did want to make Grace happy who enjoyed having friends over.

"It would have been if you agreed to come, Mr. Reese." Harold acknowledged and John sighed.

"I would have thought maybe of swinging by if I knew Grace wouldn't have a dozen or so single female friends lined up for me to meet," he commented. "But I'm glad I didn't: up here there is a lot of snow and I'm still trying to dig out."

"Grace doesn't mean anything by it; she just wants you happy, John."

"I know that, Harold but I'm not looking to date," he murmured as he began scrounging around his fridge for the fresh bacon package he had. "And I don't think Grace is willing to accept my wishes."

"That's because you're too young to be alone," Grace piped up over the speakerphone he was evidently on, entering the conversation.

John paused in his search. "Sorry John; I didn't know she was awake," Harold said quickly.

He shook his head as he smiled. "It's okay, Finch," he assured his friend, before addressing Grace. "Grace, I appreciate the fact that you want me happy but I'm fine," he replied firmly.

"But John you are a young man!"

"I'm older than you," he muttered, really wishing to not argue about this again. Grace has been pestering him to start dating again and lobbying to set him up with her friends for over a year now.

"Yes, you are, but barely! I'm forty-two, John. And that's beside the point: you're too young to be all alone for the rest of your life," Grace remarked indignantly.

He sighed. This was their same argument they always had. "I had the woman I loved but she was taken from me," he murmured.

Grace was quiet for a moment. "Yes she was, John, but love can strike twice. Just because you had love once doesn't mean you can't find love again," she pointed out.

"But the problem with that, Grace, is I don't want to."

"Why not?" Grace asked as if she didn't already know the answer. He was scared to fall in love again, to put his heart out on the line, but that was just hogwash! John was an extremely good looking man who was intelligent and utterly sweet. He was the all-around package and any woman would be lucky to have him in their life.

"Can we talk about something else?" John asked with exasperation. He knew Grace was only trying to help and he loved her like a sister; which she knew and was the reason why she butted into his affairs all the time, but, he was tired and not in the mood to argue with her.

Grace looked at her husband and saw the pleading look Harold gave her. She nodded. She'd choose another time to pick at John to try dating again. "Sure thing John, are you okay after that blizzard?" she asked as she tugged open the refrigerator to grab some orange juice. Grace was still a little miffed John had declined their New Year's party.

"We're fine." John admitted and closed his eyes when he realized how he said it.

"We're…who's 'we're'?" Grace demanded immediately. She knew that Joan and Lionel were given time off for the holidays, so it couldn't be them at his place.

John groaned. He didn't want to tell them about Joss but he stuck his foot into his mouth and there was no way in hell Grace or Harold were going to buy he meant Bear. "Well I have a guest," he acknowledged hesitantly with a quick glance to make sure Joss was nowhere to be had.

"A guest," Harold repeated in surprise.

"Yes, their car spun out and landed in my ditch and with how bad the snowstorm was they couldn't get the car out and had to stay with me for a couple days," he explained.

"I notice you are being very careful with saying who's this mystery person is, so I'm assuming it's a woman," Grace spoke up.

"It is," John agreed reluctantly. Of course, he couldn't get one past Grace, that was how his luck was going.

"Is she pretty?"

John groaned inwardly. That was a question he didn't want to answer. "I don't know." he lied instantly.

Grace giggled as she said, "Nice try John: lying means she's pretty."

John exhaled. "Yes, she's pretty." he replied tersely. Joss wasn't just pretty; she was quite possibly the sexiest woman he had seen in a very long time and he was struggling to remain unaffected by her. Not only was she beautiful but she was good natured and extremely intelligent. But he wasn't going to tell Grace any of that.

"What's her name?" Grace asked as she leaned into Harold.

"Her name is Joss. Grace, don't get any ideas; she'll be leaving soon once she calls a towing company to get her car out of my ditch," he said quickly, trying to nip the match-making attempt before it started. Grace's questions were far too pointed to be innocent.

"Uh-huh, so how long has this pretty woman been with you?" she asked not deterred at all.

John wished for a new subject. "About a day and a half now; she was on her way up to a cabin for the holiday when she lost control of her car during the blizzard. Her car was buried under a mountain of snow so she is stuck here."

"Sounds romantic," Grace replied softly.

"Grace…"

"I'm just saying, John; the two of you are marooned together during a snowstorm and on New Year's Eve sounds pretty romantic to me," Grace said with a laugh. "So….is she age appropriate or mid-life crisis age?"

"GRACE!" both John and Harold bellowed.

"My adopted big brother gets literally stuck with a beautiful woman and I can't ask any questions about her?—I recall a certain somebody threatening Harold to never hurt me or he'd make sure Harold lived to regret it," Grace huffed in defense of her inquisition. She knew she couldn't guilt John into giving her any more information on this Joss woman but at least he'd feel a little guilty to not get too upset by her questioning. She loved John and wanted only the best for him and if that required her meddling in his love life a little then so be it.

John sighed. "I got to go; I'm about to make breakfast for Joss and I," he said.

"Oh, so you're making her breakfast too," Grace said, sounding awfully pleased.

John closed his eyes. "Yes, I am, Grace, what am I supposed to do: starve her?" he stated aggravated.

"My, my; someone is testy this morning. You like this woman, don't you?" Grace questioned with a smile lacing her voice.

He rolled his eyes before saying, "I'm hanging up now."

Grace chuckled. "Okay, take care of your _houseguest_ , talk to you later, John. I love you," she said sincerely.

"I love you too, Grace. Take care, Harold." John responded readily.

"Talk to you soon, Mr. Reese," Harold agreed warmly before they hung up.

John opened his fridge to tug out the egg carton and worked hard at putting Grace's words in the back of his mind. Yes, he was attracted to Joss but nothing was going to happen between them.

* * *

Her foot felt better but she wasn't ready to not use the crutch. Joss didn't want to rush it and aggravate her injury just as it was finally feeling better. She reached the landing after a five minute jaunt down the stairs and was greeted with the smell of coffee and bacon. Bear scampered over, obviously having heard her coming.

"Good morning Bear!"

Bear barked immediately before trotting off back to the kitchen. Joss followed the happy dog and found John in a form-fitting cotton colored Henley shirt with sleeves pulled up to the elbows and white-wash jeans that were well worn and frayed at the knees straining not to rip. He looked so damn fine, which left her unsettled especially, since Shaw's words kept ringing in her mind. She was glad she hadn't dressed up, seeing that he hadn't either. Her simple rose-colored long sleeve tunic with a cowl neck and leggings, were it for her. She was a tad bit tired from yet another restless night due to an unexpected kiss that had left her wanting more.

"Good morning, John," she said.

John lifted his head and smiled a little at her. "Hope you like your eggs scrambled." he murmured.

"I do. But you shouldn't have, I don't want you going out of your way to accommodate me, John," she said sternly as she made her way over to the kitchen island to take a seat.

He nodded. "I know, but I got up early and decided to make us both a good hearty breakfast," he admitted.

Joss didn't ask why he couldn't sleep because she didn't want to know it wasn't the same reason as to why she couldn't. She preferred believing he was as attracted to her as she was to him.

He set a plateful of food in front of her before getting his own and they sat side by side at the kitchen island eating the breakfast he prepared. Joss was getting used to the great meals. She tended to only enjoy a bagel and coffee in the morning and when she had been working it would have been a power or granola bar with a banana, or Apple on occasion, and her coffee. She truly hadn't known what she was missing with the eggs, hash-browns, and French Toast John made for them both.

They ate quietly for a good long while, both concentrating on their food before John broke the silence when their plates were nearly depleted. "I checked and the county finally has plowed my road, so you probably can call a towing company to retrieve your car from my ditch." John murmured.

Joss frowned as she looked up from her plate. "Is this sudden need to be rid of me because we kissed last night?" she questioned.

"No and I thought we agreed to forget about that." he replied tersely as he stood, picking up their plates up as he did.

Joss searched his gaze before saying, "So did I…."

John turned and moved to his sink. "I was going to call the towing company tomorrow because I didn't want to pay an arm and a leg for an emergency call, being it is New Year's Day," she admitted, annoyed with him; so much for putting their kiss behind them.

He set his plate in the sink not making eye contact. "That's fine," he murmured.

"No. You want me gone because you can't let go of the kiss we shared which is fine, John; you've been a gracious and patient host. You want your isolation and loneliness back, so I'll call a tow truck now and be on my way." she replied with a tilt of her chin as she situated her crutch under her arm and started for his hallway.

Joss wasn't surprised when she heard footsteps follow in her wake; she knew she wasn't going to be allowed to have the last word.

"Wait. Wait a damn minute." he stated lowly as he stormed past her, standing directly in front of her and stopped her in her tracks to his staircase. She had forgotten her phone in her room.

"What?" she demanded, loving the smoldering sexy look on his handsome face.

"I'm not lonely." he replied shortly, hands on his hips.

Joss laughed which only intensified the anger radiating in his gorgeous blue eyes. "Oh yes you are, John," she countered. "And what's sad is that you don't even realize it."

"I'm not going to argue over how I feel. You don't know me," John stated.

Joss exhaled in agitation. "Because you won't let me know you!" she snapped before taking a deep calming breath. "I'm sorry; you don't owe me a chance to get to know you since I'm an unwanted guest that dropped in on you. Now if you excuse me: I need to get my phone that's upstairs, so I can call a tow truck and I'll be out of your hair soon." she muttered as she made a move to step around him but he stepped aside so he remained in front of her.

She looked up into his eyes. "You don't have to go, Joss," he said softly.

"But you don't want me here, John."

He clenched his teeth as he looked into her eyes. "I didn't mean to make it sound like you were unwelcome to stay here. I just meant if you wanted to leave but thought you couldn't because of the road conditions, you could. I don't want you to have to pay more money because of it being New Year's Day than if you called on any other day," John explained himself.

Joss nodded. That was actually a reasonable explanation and made her understand why he had brought it up. She was slightly embarrassed by how she responded but not much since there was still one question that remained. "Why did you think I wanted to leave?" she asked perplexed and then laughed as the answer came to her nearly immediately after she asked it. "Oh my god; you thought I wanted to leave because of that kiss, didn't you?!

John shrugged in answer and she sighed. "John, you didn't force yourself on me and if you hadn't noticed I didn't exactly push you away," she remarked. She didn't point out the fact that the kiss was supposed to be forgotten because she liked that he couldn't forget it.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, Joss," he murmured softly and she looked deep into his big blue eyes.

"I'm not." she half-lied. Because she wasn't uncomfortable around him or being with him; he just made her body uncomfortably hot and bothered, made her pussy wet and achy; all of which wasn't what he meant and it wouldn't be a good idea to blurt out. So she kept her secret to herself. "I like being around you John and at the risk of getting you mad at me: I think you like being around me too," she said.

John's expression on his face didn't really change but she did notice his body's rigidness relaxed. "I do…like being around you," he admitted roughly and Joss smiled. "It's strange…"

"What's strange?" she asked, hoping he was willing to open up just a little more.

He looked at her and said, "You are."

"Me?—what's strange about me?" she wondered.

"I don't know. There's just something about you Joss," he replied thoughtfully but he let the moment go as he cleared his throat. "Uh, so did I convince you to not leave unless you really want to?" he asked quietly.

She nodded. "You convinced me that I'm not unwelcome. I'd like to stay at least one more day." she acknowledged. Joss was slowly realizing that she didn't want to leave this man and that one more day was just going to make her want another one and another.

John gave her his small smile that she had seen on occasion. "Good; I'm glad the misunderstanding has been cleared up," he mumbled. Joss sighed; god was he cute. What would he do if she told him she wanted him to kiss her again? "I'll be upstairs building my bookcase that I bought a while ago and just never had any time to dedicate to putting together." he said abruptly, changing the subject so vastly that her head spun.

Joss felt her smile freeze on her face. What?

"So if you need anything, holler." he murmured before pivoting on his heels and making his way to his staircase, leaving her to watch him as he went.

Joss turned to look at Bear who looked at her. "What the hell just happened?" she asked the dog, and Bear simply snorted in answer.

* * *

AN: Mini mixup cleared. I love the idea of Grace and John meeting well earlier and sort of becoming really close.

Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

_**AN: Gotta hurry and post this because I'm in a severe thunderstorm warning but I wanted to give you this chapter before the weekend.**_

* * *

Joss had it! She flung the remote control to his TV down on the coffee-table when she saw it was three o'clock in the afternoon. The aggravating man spent all his time upstairs in his room conveniently having a new bookshelf to put together, leaving her downstairs, alone. He didn't want her to leave, yet he didn't want to stay in her presence because he was attracted to her and didn't want to deal with it. Well he was going to deal with it because she was done. She was bored out of her mind and he was going to entertain her!

She made her way up the stairs and found his bedroom door open with a light on. Joss moved slowly with the use of the crutch and stopped on the threshold and smiled. Okay, so he wasn't lying about the bookshelf as she once thought. He was on his knees, butt to the door, which she should thank the high-heavens for gracing this man with such a nice ass, and looking at the directions he held. He had been up here for hours and this was all that he got done: unboxing it. Either he was avoiding her with going ridiculously slow or he had no clue what the hell he was doing and refused to ask for help. He was a man so she was venturing to guess it was the latter.

"Need some help?" she asked and watched with a smile as she moved quietly enough to catch him off guard. He jumped as he tried to turn quickly and fell back onto that great butt of his. She hoped he didn't hurt it or she could kiss it better. Joss groaned at the thought; that's it, she was not looking at any more of Shaw's texts until she was not in John's orbit.

John glared at her. "Thanks, for taking ten years off of me," he grumbled.

She chuckled; glad the earlier tension between them seemed to have taken a holiday. "Sorry, I was bored. Bear's asleep and there's nothing on TV," she admitted as she worried her lip as she moved into his bedroom, not missing the opportunity to take a gander around. "You have a nice bedroom, John," she said softly. Off to the left there was a door that led to a bathroom and beside it was a closed door which she assumed was his closet. On the wall between the two doors was a large screen TV with just a simple end table beneath it. Across, on the other side, John had a king sized bed with a beautiful mahogany bed set. The headboard was amazing and looked to be hand-carved.

Joss cleared her throat as she forced her gaze off the bed as an image of John sleeping in it, preferably naked, flashed into her mind.

She looked at John, who sat in the middle of his floor, as he watched her look around his bedroom. Joss saw a bare wall near the window and knew instantly he was going to put the bookcase there. She hobbled closer to look over his shoulder. She was impressed by the piece of furniture as she eyed the picture of it. The bookcase was very stylish in a sleek dark finish. It would be quite tall. It had two hutches and two open shelves above those.

"It's gonna look nice once it's finished, John," she acknowledged.

He laughed softly. "You mean: _if_ it ever gets finished," he commented as he lowered the paper and they both eyed the screws, brackets, knobs, and pieces of wood that littered the floor that was to be put together to make the sophisticated bookcase.

"Not a handyman, eh?" she teased.

John watched as she struggled to lower herself down to the floor without putting much weight on her foot. He reached out and helped her. "Is it that obvious?" he wondered out loud.

"Kind of, if you've been up here for hours and only have the bookcase unboxed and not much else done," she murmured.

He shook his head. "You caught me: I am a DIY virgin," he confessed.

Joss giggled, grateful for the easiness between them that was reemerging. "I can tell, but you're in safe hands," she joked and he shook his head as he let out a rueful laugh. "At least tell me you got the necessary tools to put this baby together?" she asked as she motioned for the directions which he readily handed over. Joss looked at the lone sheet of paper that they called 'directions' and swore it was written in Portuguese because she was sure it wasn't in English.

John motioned his hand at an adequate toolbox sitting near the pieces of wood. She nodded before resuming her perusal of the riddle that the directions were written in. "Joss…"

"Hmmm?"

"I might be new to DIY projects but perhaps having the directions facing right-side up would help." he murmured gently, with laughter lacing his voice.

Joss blushed as she turned the directions around. "Ah, now it makes more sense," she lied.

"You have no clue either, huh."

Joss flung the sheet of paper down. "I say we can figure this out ourselves without the need of those directions since the manufacturer forgot to include the code to decipher it!" she muttered.

John stood up and gazed at the mess on his bedroom floor. "Stay put; I'll go downstairs to get us some beer, we're going to need it," he decided.

Joss smiled. "Yea, because everything looks better once you have a beer or two," she agreed.

John chuckled as he turned and proceeded to go get them some beer and chips.

* * *

An hour and a half later Joss made a face as she eyed the structure they had put together and to the spare parts that laid on the floor. "Is it normal to have so much extra left over?" he wondered innocently.

"No." Joss sighed, looking at the useless diagrams in a feeble attempt at figuring out where the hell these screws went. There were holes that needed screwing…Joss groaned, she was never talking to Shaw again for all those dirty texts she sent her because now every little thing she did or said or thought was construed to be sexual, especially with John hovering nearby.

"You okay?" John asked.

Joss lifted her gaze off the directions she wasn't really reading to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"You moaned. Is your back hurting from leaning over trying to help me put this damn thing together?" he asked in concern.

Joss froze. She moaned out loud?! "Fine," she blurted out, flustered. She took a deep breath. "I'm fine," she said again but this time more calmly. "I'm just frustrated that I messed this up; I mean you could have done this." she muttered as she motioned at the bookcase.

He laughed. "Oh thanks, for the vote of confidence," he said softly before he sipped what was left of his beer.

She smiled. "You know what I mean,"

They spent about ten minutes taking apart what she spent an hour putting together and they restarted. After another hour and a half passed; she was hungry but triumphant. They had a bookcase that was nearly close to being together with no spare parts; it just needed the doors to the hutches screwed in place and it would be complete. Then they could stand it up and move it where he wanted it to be.

Bear at some point had come upstairs and into the bedroom, hopping up onto John's bed wanting to be with his master. He lifted his head as John got to his feet and helped her to hers.

"I think this can be finished and moved after we eat some dinner. I'm hungry." he murmured as he collected the empty beer cans and the nearly finished bag of chips.

"Me too," she admitted as her stomach rumbled on cue, which made them both laugh (well she did after she got through being mortified) before she set the crutch under her arm, following him out with Bear bringing up the rear.

They worked well together; John followed her direction and once she figured out the diagram it had been smooth sailing. Joss was dismayed that John had left her in the dust as she navigated his stairs and she wondered if the damn dog accompanied her to make her feel better about being so damn slow.

"Wait till I can walk on my own two feet again Bear, your master won't be able to run on me," she declared in complaint.

Once she finished the stairs she made her way to his kitchen and realized the reason John had left her behind was because he was busy looking through his freezer for something to make. "While we worked on that damn bookcase; I lost track of time." he murmured as he must have heard her approaching.

"Do you have any frozen broccoli?" she asked suddenly.

John turned to look at her in surprise. "Yes…."

"How about some cans of cream of mushroom soup?" she asked. She made her and her son bread bowls full of soup all the time when they needed a quick meal. Hopefully John had the necessary ingredients.

"I do."

Joss grinned as she made her way to his refrigerator to make sure he had some cheese. She opened the door. "AHA!" she sang happily, grabbing the few bags he had. One was sharp cheddar and the other was Mexican Style Four Cheese. These would do. She grabbed them and the gallon of milk, tugging them out. He was eyeing her with a questioning gaze. "Do you have an uncut loaf of bread?" she asked hopeful. She wasn't sure if he would or not and if he didn't then they'd just have to make do.

"I do but…"

"Good, can you grab it and those cans of cream of mushroom soup you have?" she asked.

He nodded moving towards a cupboard to pull out the cans of soup first. "What are you making, Joss?"

She looked at him. "When me and my boy needed a quick meal because of my work or if he had a basketball game I would make us broccoli and cheese soup bread bowls. It will be quick and filling." Joss explained.

John got her everything she asked for and jumped right in to help make their dinner while Joss felt a little funny at ordering John around in his own kitchen, but after twenty minutes their food was hot and ready to eat.

John took the first bite. "This is really good," he murmured.

"You say that like you were expecting it to taste like dirt!" she accused with laughter.

He laughed as his gaze dropped to his food before he looked at her and she saw sparkling mischief in his gorgeous eyes; they were radiant and she liked how they caught the light. "Are you suggesting I ate dirt before?" he teased.

She shrugged. "Well boys will be boys; my son tried to eat Play-Doh when he was just a tot." she murmured casually, praying she was going to get something personal from him.

"I didn't eat dirt but I did try worms." he replied.

Joss's eyes widened as she looked at him. "No, you didn't! I bet your momma washed your mouth out!"

He laughed. "She did," he said softly and Joss watched as the smile was gone and the lightness in his expressive blue eyes dimmed. Whatever he was thinking about was making him sad.

Joss chose something else to talk about and managed to recapture that smile he had. John shoved back his empty plate after a little while. "That was really good for such a quick meal." he said.

She grinned at the praise. "Thanks." she replied appreciatively.

"Definitely better than worms," he added.

Joss laughed. "Well that's definitely good for my ego," she assured him as they both climbed to their feet at the same time and she accidentally knocked the crutch over.

They both moved to grab the fallen crutch and bumped heads. "Ouch," Joss mumbled as their heads clunked and John grimaced as he rubbed his temple as he grabbed the crutch.

"Sorry," he murmured, feeling like he had two left feet around this woman.

Joss waved him off as she rubbed the pain away. "It's okay; I don't know why I'm so clumsy around you," she said with a nervous laugh. John stood in front of her and she felt trapped between the kitchen island and him. She had to lean her head back so she could look him deep in those impressive eyes of his and her pulse started to race.

His eyes searched her face. "I make you nervous?" he replied.

"No," she lied quickly, too quickly; his brows rose and she sighed. "Maybe you do, but not for the reason you think," she admitted rather reluctantly.

"And what reason do I think, detective?"

Joss tried to ignore the thrill that his voice caused. "Because you're a 'stranger' by your definition and I don't know you," she supplied.

"By my definition?—we just met, Joss," he pointed out.

Joss shrugged. "We did, but I feel like I know you better than I know half my friends," she confessed gently with a helpless shrug. She sure hoped he didn't ask for more of an in-depth answer than that because she didn't have one…yet.

He didn't. "So if it's not because we just met then why do I make you nervous?" he asked.

Joss winced because she didn't really want him questioning her on that any more than she wanted him to dig further about why she felt closer to him than people she's known for years. So she chose her only answer she could think of, "I plead the fifth."

John's gaze bore into her and she felt like her breath caught as her body felt on fire as his hot gaze slid over her before sliding back up to find her eyes. Joss lips parted as she recognized that look: it was desire. She hadn't seen in a long time but that didn't mean she didn't know what it looked like. She unconsciously took a step forward as her hand rested on his as he still had the crutch in a death grip.

It felt like she was touching fire as her fingertips stroked his skin. His blue irises darkened further as his gaze dropped to her lips. Joss subconsciously wetted them and swore she heard him groan; her fingers itched to touch his skin more. His head dipped down and Joss jumped when Bear barked.

John's eyes widened as he lurched back and the crutch fell to the floor for a second time. John didn't bother to pick it up for her this time as he ran a hand through his short hair as he took a few steps back with eyes averted.

He cleared his throat as she stood staring at him. "Uh…Bear, you have to go out don't you?" he stuttered to the dog.

Bear barked again in answer, looking cross at his human companions.

Joss stood still trying to bring her rapidly beating heart under control and she told herself it was because Bear barked unexpectedly but it wasn't the dog. It was John. He was going to kiss her and this time she doubted it was going to be a light peck on the lips. And she couldn't help but feel disappointed she hadn't gotten to experience it.

* * *

AN: Poor Bear his little bladder was being tortured as he waited for the two to kiss. If you guys can survive at least one more chapter of tension there is a reward coming soon since these two won't be able to take much more of it ;D

Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

"All that's left is screwing these in place," Joss said and John nearly groaned at the choice of words she used as he helped hold the doors in place as she picked up the drill.

Perhaps they should have just left the nearly complete bookcase right in the middle of his bedroom floor to finish it tomorrow; when what happened downstairs after dinner was not fresh on his mind. He had been dangerously close to kissing her and the only reason he hadn't was because Bear barked and broke the moment to remind him that he needed to go outside.

He nearly fell backwards in his haste to get away from Joss; from her loveliness, from her bewitching scent that made him think of flowers in a meadow. It was ridiculous to be entertaining such thoughts since Joss was going to be going home tomorrow anyway. He'd never see her again. John angrily ignored the pang at the thought. It didn't matter. She didn't matter. How could she when he only known her for two days? But it never had taken him long to make decisions about his life.

He joined the Army after boot-camp knowing it was something he was made for. He met Jessica and knew she was the woman he wanted to marry; to grow old with. He had left the Army for her without a second thought. Working with Harold had been easy; over drinks Harold had run it by him about opening up a business together to protect people and by the end of it he had agreed. Asking Jessica to adopt with him because she couldn't carry a child to term was spur of the moment, then walking away from everything after Jessica died, because memories were everywhere that had been quick. Everything he had ever done in his life was always spontaneous and done with thinking from his heart not his head.

He sat back on his haunches and eyed Joss's butt as it poked out while she worked. John fought the growing desire to grab her. He knew she said it felt like she knew him a lot longer than she did, but grabbing her ass because he couldn't fight the urge too; would surely appall her. He winced as his pants felt tight as he imagined her ass bare without the barrier of her slacks or panties in his way as he nibbled and kissed it. John banished those thoughts as she moved and brought him back to reality that he was sitting on his knees on his floor building a bookcase.

"Last one…" she murmured distractedly as she moved onto the other hutch door and he held it for her.

She shifted her eyes on him for a brief second because he was awfully quiet, had been after their near kiss. Joss didn't know what she should do?—call him out on it, or let it fester. But why bother when she was leaving tomorrow? He would probably carry her to her car and fling her into it and be free of her to get back to his moping around. Joss angrily screwed the screw tightly into the hinge.

She sat back and looked at John. "All done," she murmured hiding her thoughts away behind a veil of humor as she dropped the screwdriver much like a mic-drop.

He smiled gently as he climbed to his feet. "Looks good, but I can't wait until I get this standing up." he replied before looking down at her. Joss was eye level at his crotch. She scowled as she looked away from him and wanted to glare up at the ceiling. Seriously was the guy upstairs trying to test her willpower! "Do you need help up?"

"No, I can manage." she muttered grumpily. Joss wasn't touching him so she could feel his soft skin under hers, feel the heated texture.

She got to her feet and watched as John lifted the now complete bookcase up. She smiled, enjoying the muscles play under his tight shirt. But she shouldn't be focusing on such things, especially not after the sexually charged moment they shared after dinner.

"It looks good if I do say so myself," she said, pleased with their handiwork as she shifted her attention from the hot and sexy man before her to the piece of furniture which was not as good to look at. "Do you need help moving it?"

"No," he said instantly.

"Well let's get this bad boy up against the wall and see how it looks," she said.

John winced at her words because though innocent as they were they brought him back to his fantasy of taking her against the wall, holding her there and fucking her senseless. He shifted as he felt his groin immediately react to the purely carnal thought. No, no, no; this wasn't what he wanted, not with Joss around. How would he explain an erection to her?—'oh sorry, I got hot and bothered because I imagined fucking you against the wall.'

He just focused on moving the bookcase to the wall he chose that looked absolutely bleak and barren without something there. He stepped back to eye how it looked.

"It looks good there," Joss said, nodding as he stepped beside her.

"It does," he agreed as he turned to look at Joss. "Thanks for the help."

She smiled. "You're welcome; glad to help," she admitted.

* * *

They sat together on his couch feigning watching television. Well she was; John, she wasn't sure if he was actually watching the documentary or pretending to. Joss just couldn't quite put what happened between them behind her. She had ignored it while they worked on the bookcase, or rather; she worked on the bookcase while he was there to offer help to lift. John really wasn't a DIYer, worse than her. But after the bookcase was put together and moved to the appropriate spot, then all the focus shifted from that to the fact that she was in his bedroom and near that gigantic bed of his. And that was not good. She had made a fool of herself by claiming she needed to go call her son, though to be fair she doubted John knew she lied, but she knew she lied, and she was angry with herself. Angry that she was letting her hormones get the best of her.

Joss did call Taylor which was a good reprieve for her. Her son exclaimed about the party and how much he had a blast. He wanted to know if she was alright and she told him she was getting a tow truck tomorrow. Joss conveniently left off about John and where she was. She knew how her son would react and she didn't want him to worry. After she ended her phone call with her son she felt like she could face John again because it was reaffirmed to herself that she would be leaving tomorrow. She could handle being in his presence even with the pesky attraction between them. It was for just one more evening.

She forced her focus on the television screen and saw the documentary had ended and a new documentary started: _The Science of Sexual Attraction_. Joss froze. Seriously! What the hell was this: a sign?—she already knew she was attracted to the man. She didn't need to be hit over the head with it.

John sat forward and immediately reached for the remote. "Ah, I'm sure there is something else on," he muttered quietly.

Joss nodded. "Yea, uh, I think I'm going to head upstairs and catch a bath then head to bed. I'm beat," she murmured.

John looked at her and nodded. She sat forward and grabbed her crutch getting to her feet. She hobbled to the staircase with a glance at her watch and winced when she saw it was only eight o'clock in the evening. She let her shoulders slump as she climbed the stairs. She needed this bath to try to release this tension in her. Maybe then she could focus again.

She made her way into the bedroom to grab her jammies, body wash, and bubble bath she brought with her. Joss entered the bathroom and closed the door undressing carefully to not injure her ankle and started the water. Once she was satisfied with the temperature she proceeded to add the bubble bath and smiled as it filled the tub with bubbles and a sweet scent of lavender.

She climbed into the tub and relaxed back and sighed. She melted right in to the water and sweet scented bubbles, closing her eyes. This should relax her after such a long tense day between her and John. But what would be even better is if John joined her.

Her eyes snapped open at the thought. But then why couldn't she daydream of John joining her, she was alone in her thoughts and it was just a harmless fantasy. Her eyes shut once more as she allowed herself to get lost in the fantasy of John entering the bathroom for some flimsy reason that was so paper-thin because he wanted to catch a glimpse of her in her bath. But instead of letting him leave; she asked him to come close because she forgot her body wash on the vanity and didn't want to climb out to go get it; she didn't want to get water and bubbles all over the floor.

John the good man that he was did as she asked, grabbing the body wash for her, moving close to hand it to her. Joss could easily see the bulge growing in his pants, knowing he was turned on by the sight of her; just as she was turned on by the sight of him. She could imagine John beautifully naked. It would a sight worth the weight in gold.

"Would you mind?" she asked as she sat forward careful to keep decent with use of her knees and the bubbles.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Joss." he murmured, voice husky and eyes dark.

"Please," she purred, throwing caution to the wind.

She smiled when he opened the cap as he poured a liberal amount into his hand and closed the cap before rubbing his hands together before rubbing them over her back. Joss moaned as she could feel the glide of his hands down her spine washing her. His hands slid down under the water running across her skin. Her nipples tight with growing desire as she felt wet between her legs that had nothing to do with the water she was sitting in. She longed for his hands to slide in front of her body to cup her breasts, have those sexy fingers of his twisting and plucking her nipples.

"John," she moaned gently.

"Joss, I think I should go…" he whispered as she leaned back to see into his luminous blue eyes that were smoky with desire.

"Don't," she whimpered as she leaned over and caught his mouth with hers. But this time she wasn't kissing him teasingly or briefly. This time her lips were demanding on his, her tongue swiping across the seam of his lips seeking entrance which he granted instantly. Joss moaned as she clutched his shirt in her fist and cupped her other hand on his cheek as his moved in her hair.

Joss couldn't get enough of his mouth but he pulled back long to remove his shirt and she groaned as she came face to face with that body again. But this time she got to touch it, scratch it, kiss it, and suck on it. She desperately wanted to suck on a part of his body alright. She wanted to rim that naval with her tongue and follow that lovely trail that disappeared into his jeans.

"God, you're beautiful," she breathed.

"Not half as beautiful as you are, Joss," he assured her as he surged forward and kissed her again but this time his one hand slid down and brushed her breast. Her nipple was hard and puckered. But his hand continued further into the water and bubbles and found her center with pinpoint accuracy. Joss broke the kiss to cry out as his fingers rubbed her clitoris.

Joss wrapped an arm around his neck pulling him forward into the bath; pants and all, needing his skin on hers. She moaned as he rested on top of her in the tub, water and bubbles sloshing around madly even going over the edge as it was displaced with his body, and the hand between her legs didn't miss a beat. Joss lifted her hips in silent urging for more as they kissed passionately. John's tongue was teasing hers, making her stomach flutter in anticipation, and her breasts rubbed sinfully against his chest. She let her hands wander down to the soaking wet pants he was wearing and grabbed handfuls of his butt.

He broke the kiss to nibble her shoulder, uncaring about the bubbles he licked, and she leaned her head back to moan in protest as he removed his hand from between her legs. "John, make love to me," she begged as she pulled him forward so his erection encased in his pants were pressing against her mound. "Oh god, please…" she whimpered as she shuddered as his hands framed her face with extremely cold hands that made her shiver but not from lust. "You're cold….too cold…"

Joss opened her eyes breathless, nearly yelping out loud as the temperature of the water was frigid against her overheated skin; drawing her from erotic fantasy just as it got to the good part. Her body felt on fire even though she felt like she was sitting in ice water. The ache that fantasy caused between her legs was overwhelming and there was no way in hell she was going to be able to sleep unless she did something about it.

She leaned her head back against the tub trying to slow her breathing down. Joss shivered; one thing she did know was that she had to get out of the tub because she was cold. She slowly got up, keeping all her weight on her good foot with water and bubbles dripping down her body. She reached down to undo the plug so the water and bubbles could drain out. Joss silently dried herself off with the towel before climbing out of the tub.

She got dressed into her underwhelming pajamas, she didn't pack any sexy nightwear, before exiting the bathroom and John appeared at the top of the stairs. She groaned as she was severely underdressed at the moment; but the bath she just took had done nothing to relieve the tension that was building inside her. Instead it had made it worse.

John nodded with eyes averted. "Goodnight, Joss," he mumbled out as he went to walk past.

Joss closed her eyes as his sexy scent wrapped around her. "It's because I like you," she blurted out. The inherent fight or flight response to any situation kicked in and she was always the type to fight. Hiding from this; from this attraction was getting them nowhere. And she, for one, was done. For god sake's she was heading to her room at eight in the evening, pretending she was that tired!

He stopped mid-stride and turned around to look at her. Joss wished she had a little more distance between them, his eyes were questioning. Joss continued, "You asked me earlier about why I'm nervous around you: it's because I like you, John."

"Joss…"

She searched his gaze and saw his expression was carefully masked. "Don't worry, John; I'll be out of your life soon. But I'm the type of person that speaks how they feel and whether or not you want to hear it: I'm attracted to you and I think you're attracted to me too," she stated honestly. John simply stared at her, not giving away anything and didn't say a word. Joss nodded. "Goodnight, John," she whispered as she turned to head for her room.

She blinked in surprise when his large hand wrapped around her forearm and her body was already overheated from the fantasy, but his touch ignited something primal deep inside her. She turned to look at him and was tugged to him with big hands cupping her face.

"Stop me," he breathed as he bent his head to kiss her.

"I don't want too," she reassured. He moaned softly as he kissed her.

* * *

AN: Well...goodbye T rating and hello M rating but I think it's mild :) I actually was asked before by a couple of you guys when I moved Bring Me to Life to the M section where it went. So just in case if there are readers who don't know M can only be found if you filter it. You have to go to 'filters' and choose M for the rating. Hope that helps.

Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

_**AN: Smut alert...as if you guys didn't know when the rating was upped ;D**_

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Joss slid her arms around his neck letting the crutch fall to the ground without a care and kissed him back, wanting more. He pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss bending his knees a bit.

She sighed as his lips coaxed hers to part and when she did as he wished; she was rewarded with his tongue sweeping deep into her mouth to play with hers. Joss moaned in the back of her throat as she moved forward to get closer to his body in response. He lifted her up so he could kiss her more fully. She fervently kissed him back, matching his intensity, giving as much as she was taking. The real deal beat out her fantasy by a country mile.

Joss kissed his upper lip before angling her head as she readily opened her mouth wide and chased his tongue into his mouth; loving being crushed to his body. The height difference between them was palpable as her feet no longer touched the ground. She loved the sexy little sigh he let out as she licked the roof of his mouth as Joss moved restlessly against him, feeling his growing erection pressing against her. John tasted of a unique blend of peppermint that she saw him swipe from the candy dish in his kitchen and all him.

John pushed free of the kiss, leaving her stunned but still nestled in his arms and looked at her. "I'm sorry." he whispered but he still didn't lower her to her feet, so in her eyes he wasn't that sorry.

She stared at him. "I'm not," she muttered as she grabbed his cheeks and kissed him. Joss welcomed being pressed against the wall of his hallway as he kissed her with equal fervor. Her feet were back on the ground and she gasped but not from pain in her ankle but from the fact that John's knee slid between her legs and pressed against her intimately. It was nearly enough to send her over the edge after the sexy fantasy she just had of him.

She didn't know which way was up anymore because all that mattered right now was his kiss; his all-consuming and encompassing kiss that was setting her on fire from the intense physical reaction although she wasn't the only one having an intense reaction judging from the soft shiver that quivered through him.

He ended the desperate kiss as he held her hips with his hands and leaned his forehead against hers and drew in ragged breath.

Joss stood quietly as her pulse resembled a jackhammer and her heart raced. They both remained silent for a few moments trying to collect themselves.

She lifted her gaze to his; his breath washed over her wet lips. "There is no use denying there is something between us," she whispered, fingering his shirt's hem, longing to touch his warm skin. John leaned his head back and his normally light blue eyes were a dark smoky sapphire color. "But the question becomes: what do we do about it, John?" she asked barely above a whisper. Her lips felt swollen and well kissed. John didn't answer so she continued, "Do we let go of each other right this second, pretend this never happened and we head to our separate beds?"

"What do you want?" he asked equally quiet. "I will not do anything that you don't want."

Joss searched his gaze realizing if she asked him to let her go right this second then he would. "I want you, John, I want tonight." she breathed.

"I want you too, Joss." He moaned helplessly as he dipped his head down and kissed her once more.

He swept her up into his arms as he carried her to his bedroom. Joss found herself on her feet as they fit together as his tongue was deep in her mouth again as their hands roamed to explore. Joss grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged up. He broke the kiss to pull the shirt completely off before helping her with hers.

Joss fought the strong impulse to cross her arms over her bare chest; self-conscious over the scars that brandished her chest and stomach. The large puckered and angry length of the gunshot wound that nearly took her life sat just under her breasts. The large jagged and ugly scar that took up much of the side of her abdomen from where the shrapnel ripped her apart in Fallujah; then there was the six inch long horizontal scar from her C-section to be given her pride and joy that rested just above her pubic hairline which was visible as her pajama bottoms rested low and loose on her hips.

John noticed her immediate reaction. "Do you think I find these ugly?" he asked gently as he traced the C-section scar first, when she didn't answer him he asked; "What's this one from it is the most faded?"

"It's a C-section scar," she managed to get out as it felt like her throat was constricted.

He smiled softly as he caressed it with his fingertips. His eyes followed by his hand moved to the largest scar. "I'm assuming this is from the land mine in Fallujah." he murmured. Joss couldn't say a word so she just nodded. His hand moved up to the gunshot wound and she trembled. "And this is from those cowards…"

"Yes," she whispered.

John's gaze lifted and she gasped as she saw the lust still radiating in his eyes; he still desired her even after seeing her scars that marred her body. "How can you think I'd find these scars ugly, Joss?—they mean you're a mother, a warrior, and a survivor," he stated and punctuated his statement as he kissed her deeply before bending to press a kiss to her gunshot wound.

Joss fought the burning at the backs of her eyes but failed as tears blurred her vision; so she closed her eyes.

John looked up and saw tears slide down her cheeks; he wanted to kiss them away. He felt something swirl deep inside him as he looked at Joss that had nothing to do with lust. This was different from his time with Zoe; she was different. But he forced such thoughts away; preferring to focus on making her realize she was a sexy and desirable woman even with the scars. He ducked his head, cradling one breast firmly in his warm hands, before he circled her hardened nipple with his warm soft tongue. Joss moaned as her knees buckled from the searing pleasure that surged in her and her tears forgotten. John snaked an arm around her waist and lifted, setting her on his bed following her down as his teasing tongue finally stopped his torment and grazed her aching nipple. She whimpered as his teeth caught the tender peak giving it a soft love bite sending spikes of pleasure to her wet and quivering core.

Joss needed more; she needed skin.

She pushed him back so that he sat back on his haunches. John was beautiful to look at; with eyes darkened from lust, nipples hard, and stomach muscles corded and taut. The rather large bulge pressing his jeans up was impressive but she wanted to see him naked. Joss sat up to undo his fly as she kissed him. His hands rested on her hips gently, letting her do as she wanted. She moaned inwardly as she felt his erection straining against the zipper; she tortured them both by drawing the small metal tab down slowly filling the silent room with the sound of the zipper being undone mixed in with their ragged breathing along with the subtle sound of their lips mating.

Joss let her tongue deep into his mouth just as she slipped a hand under the elastic of his underwear in his jeans and found him warm, twitching, and so damn hard. He was like silky steel; so soft to the touch but so damn hard and rigid. He gasped as she began stroking him; base to tip.

She moaned at the feel of him in her hand ending the kiss to nibble his jawline to catch her breath. He had a wide girth as she strained to wrap her hand fully around the thick shaft. And she got her answer: John definitely had big everything; he had big feet, big hands, and he had a big cock. Joss teased her thumb over the round head of his penis, loving the soft moans he made as he let her stroke him. She felt him shudder as her thumb traced the slit, collecting the drop of moisture she found there, before he removed her hand.

"Enough," he growled lowly before shoving her onto her back, grabbing the waistband of her pajamas and tugged them down; finding her naked beneath them. He was careful to not agitate her injured ankle before he flung her pajama pants on the floor.

John kissed each breast then just above her belly button, before his tongue dipped there, and he proceeded to move downwards until he was tracing her C-section scar with his tongue leaving her gasping and twisting in pleasure. Joss grabbed handfuls of his comforter beneath her as she felt his breath wash over her like a promise of more.

"John…"

"Let me love you, let me show you how beautiful you are," he whispered.

Joss's eyes closed as her whole body surrendered to his soft spoken plea; her thighs parted spreading herself for him. John spread her so he could lavish attention to her swollen clit; he started slow as he licked her lazily once, seeing her reaction. Joss gasped as her hips jerked in response. He settled a hand on her stomach to hold her down and to stroke her soft skin while he caressed her quivering thigh that was near his ear with his other hand.

He acquainted himself with her vulva; exploring her labia, her clitoris, and then her wet entrance where his dick throbbed to be buried in. John dipped his tongue into her soaking wet entrance, tasting her, it was intoxicating, before he licked her again but this time in a zigzag pattern before drawing different shapes and letters on her which elicited a loud cry of his name. Her responses to what he did were so quick and fiery; they went straight to his groin causing him to strain harder against his underwear. It also inspired him to seek a lengthier and louder cry from her. John focused all his attention on her clit: sucking gently before increasing the pressure, loving her cries for more. He let off before repeating his actions again and again but not in the same order wanting her off-kilter and to guess what he was going to do. He could feel her grind against his tongue when he teasingly licked her, hearing her groan of frustration, but he wasn't ready to let her come just yet.

"John," she protested breathlessly when he nibbled on her inner thigh before chasing the sting away with his tongue, her hand slid into his hair and stayed there.

"Yes?" he mumbled as he sucked on a cute little half-moon scar that was no bigger than a fingernail he found on her right thigh. Her knee was another source of angry jagged scars from the gunshot she sustained there and subsequent surgery she must have had to repair it. He would focus time there later.

Joss felt on the precipice of her climax but with his mouth busy elsewhere than where she needed it most; she was left hanging. The heat in her belly was now an inferno, her sex throbbed so hard she could feel it in her pelvis, and fire raced through her veins. "I need…" she begged as she trembled unable to even finish her sentence.

John lifted his head to meet her gaze and she saw the raw lust in his eyes. His mouth was wet from her and he sexily licked his lips and sighed. "What do you need, Joss?" he asked huskily.

"I need to come, please," she whimpered as she squirmed under him as he kept a firm hold of her. She didn't care how she came; she needed relief.

John pressed a warm open mouth kiss to her thigh before settling between her legs and finding her clit with ease and teased her at first before sucking gently with enough pressure that had her gasping. He nuzzled in closer sucking on her clitoris urging her on to an orgasm that she desperately needed, an orgasm he desperately wanted to give her. John inserted a finger deep inside her wet cavern and tickled her vaginal walls and he heard the cries of his name, begging for release; wanting to give it but also prolong it because he loved her taste. John forced a steady rhythm and Joss bucked her hips and he let her.

He moaned as he sucked her, letting the reverberations wash over her and Joss's whole body stiffened just for a brief millisecond before she exploded.

Joss called out his name as the tension inside her snapped and she was soaring as the orgasm erupted inside her, bombarding her from all sides. She clung to the high for several euphoric moments before she slowly floated back down to Earth as John pressed warm kisses to her thighs, then her belly, her breasts, and finally her mouth. He shared her taste before renewed need clawed in her. She wanted to see him naked; she wanted to taste and explore him as he tasted and explored her.

She rolled them over and straddled John, as his jeans clung barely to his hips, while spasms still rocked her pussy. She pushed free of the kiss to trail her tongue down his neck to his chest and bite her way down to his naval. John's groans at her bites caused her to nip harder in response and he gasped in ecstasy. Joss loved the fine hair that tickled her chin and his skin was warm as she nibbled at the patch of skin just above the waistband of his underwear that was visible and taunting her.

Joss sat back and pulled his jeans and underwear down his long legs before discarding them leaving him as naked as she was. And she loved every single bit of John. John's fully erect dick was not just impressive it was also powerful looking as it stood tall and rigid between them. This would be bringing her exquisite pleasure that much she was sure of.

She wrapped her hand around him and John eased his head back, looking up at the ceiling as he moaned. She smiled as he pulsed in her hand; someone was close to the edge.

"Joss, please tell me you are on some form of birth control because I don't have condoms here," he managed to get out, which was a feat all in itself since thinking with her hand wrapped around his dick was not something he figured he would be able to do, let alone talk.

"I'm on the pill, been on it since after Taylor's birth." she reassured before she focused her attention on doing what she wanted and she wanted to get her mouth on him. So she did.

She moaned as she took him into her mouth and began eagerly sucking him. John fought the urge to thrust not wanting to choke her as her mouth took most of him in. And what she couldn't she used her hand to wrap around him and stroke. She cradled his balls with her other hand like precious jewels that had him moaning as she caressed them delicately. He let out a loud breath as her mouth and lips ascended up his cock and she trailed her tongue across the underside of the head of his penis and it was insanely hot. Her tongue focused all its attention there. John moaned louder as she began humming as her tongue stroked him, as she descended back down taking his length back into her mouth as much as she possibly could.

When she sucked him again he had enough. John curled a hand in her hair and forced her mouth off him; afraid if he enjoyed being in her mouth for too much longer than he would ruin this by coming there. She made a sound of protest but he ignored it as he forcefully pulled her up distracting her with a warm kiss, sliding his tongue deep into her mouth which she seemed to like and rolled her onto her back. John's throbbing dick settled immediately at the sweet V between her legs; his tip resting against her slick entrance. John grabbed himself and pressed his tip into her; going slowly because he didn't know when was the last time she had sex and didn't want to hurt her. John wasn't unconscious to his size; he wasn't exactly a small man and he didn't want to cause her any discomfort. He hoped her earlier orgasm left her extremely wet and ready for him.

She moaned as her hips twisted and jerked as he pressed more of himself into her; her body greedily taking him in. John screwed his eyes tightly shut and gritted his teeth as he struggled to not ram himself inside her because she felt amazing but she was so tiny, so tight.

Joss clawed his shoulders because it felt amazing and agonizing at the same time with the slow glide of John's cock as he entered her. She trembled as he filled her finally, completely sheathed inside her. Her eyes opened and found John's half open.

"You good?" he asked gruffly. "I don't want to hurt you, Joss."

"I'm good," she moaned.

Thank god! John began moving slowly, wanting to set a languid pace even though he wanted to pound inside her mercilessly to draw them both over the edge as quickly as possible. But that might hurt her and he wanted to fuck her again later tonight. If he only had one night then he wanted to make it last.

He moved faster when he felt the way her hips moved, matching his rhythm, silently wanting more. John shifted his hands to grab her hips as he drove himself into her over and over again. Her moans were getting to him as their sweat mixed together; he felt his own orgasm surging in his loins as her orgasm rushed her for the second time tonight. She sobbed in his arms as her entire body convulsed as she climaxed hard; her hands strumming her nipples as she leaned her head back crying out in ecstasy. And then he was there, coming right with her, unable to stop himself, stiffening above her, keeping himself buried deep inside her, filling her with his essence.

When at last they both came back to Earth John slumped on top of her with ragged breathing and they lied together holding each other quietly; both overwhelmed by what just happened.

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AN: See this is mild smut. More of their night together is in the next chapter.

Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

John laid on his side with Joss wrapped snugly in his arms with his forearm nestled just under her bare breasts; her butt settled against him as he tried to behave. They had sex twice since that first time; he was sure she was going to be sore by the morning, but, he couldn't help himself. He wanted her, craved her, and couldn't get enough of her. And he still couldn't as he felt a stirring in his groin. But she had fallen asleep in his arms and she needed some rest and it also gave him some time to think about things.

He had forgotten how much he enjoyed holding a woman at night. He hadn't spent the night with a woman since Jessica. Jessica had been a cuddler. She loved having his arms wrapped around her and he loved wrapping his arms around her; pretending he could be her safest place. When he slept with Zoe he never stuck around afterwards; he never wanted too. John pulled Joss tighter as an unaccustomed feeling of never wanting to let go washed over him. He couldn't imagine just getting up, dressing, and leaving this woman.

He softly stroked Joss's skin with his fingers when he heard her whimper. John held her tight wondering if she felt his growing erection pressing against her ass. He was about to let his hand wander between her legs and caress her but paused when she whimpered again. He frowned because it wasn't a whimper of excitement or lust but a whimper of distress. John kept his hold on her firm and waited to see if she made the sound again. Her body violently trembled as she cried out in terror.

"Joss…" he murmured softly in her ear, wanting to wake her from whatever was scaring her but not frighten her further. He knew how dreams could break you down and force you to relive something you'd rather forget. He could still feel the skin of the militant under his hands as he broke the man's neck after being lucky that his gun misfired.

John was about to try to rouse Joss again when she cried out; "I don't want to die alone," and he immediately let her go realizing how horrifying her nightmare was, not wanting her to feel like she was trapped and couldn't move. She sat up with a scream her arms flailing in front of her as she grabbed desperately at her chest where she had been shot.

John sat up beside her and she shuddered as she sobbed, her left hand shaking but still pressed against her chest over the healing scar. "I'm sorry; give me a minute," she choked out as she buried her face in her other hand and her body heaved.

He didn't say a word; he simply wrapped her in his arms and let her cry, her body was in a cold sweat and he wanted to warm her, before pressing a comforting kiss to the top of her head. "I'll go get you some water." he murmured gently, moving to let her go.

"No!—just…hold me, please," she asked barely above a whisper.

John did as she asked and just held her. He held her until her body stopped shaking and she slowly pushed back to rub her eyes. "I'm sorry for making you witness that," she apologized, voice rough with emotion, and so utterly embarrassed. She hated feeling like this. She despised the helplessness that the nightmare left in her. She was alive. She was safe and yet that nightmare took her back in that alley; took her back, feeling that cold pavement beneath her, felt the blood gushing out of her and the pain ebbing until she wasn't feeling anything and it scared the hell out of her.

"Joss, stop apologizing. You have nothing to feel sorry for," he said as he tucked some of her mussed up hair back. Her eyes were still wracked with fear; her face pale but the trembling was subsiding a little. "Stay put, I'll go get you some water and we'll talk." he murmured as he brushed his lips on hers to make her feel. He knew she probably felt numb.

She reluctantly let go of him. "Can I put the lamp on?" she asked her voice growing stronger.

He knew she needed light to chase away the shadows that her nightmare created. John turned the lamp on himself and tugged his underwear back on and headed for the door. He could go get her a small disposable cup of water but he knew she could use something more substantial than that.

"I'll be right back," he said and when she nodded he turned and hurried out. John took the steps quickly and checked on Bear seeing the dog out cold, before making a beeline for the refrigerator. He grabbed a cold bottle of water before stopping at the pantry to tug out the bag of Hershey Kisses he had. Chocolate was a cure all.

He hurried to the stairs, not wanting to leave her long and took them two at a time and strode to his bedroom quickly. John found her sitting on the bed having tugged on her pajama shirt which irked him; he preferred her naked. But he was realizing Joss put a strong front up but she was still recovering from her shooting and the scar would only serve to remind her of what she just dreamt of.

"Figured you could use some chocolate too," he admitted as he held the bag of Kisses up.

Joss looked a little better and he saw a small smile flicker on her lips. "Chocolate always is a pick me up," she agreed gently.

He sat down beside her on his bed and snapped open the bottle of water for her and handed it to her. She gratefully took it and took a healthy gulp of it. John easily popped open the bag of Hershey Kisses and tugged out a couple; one for her and one for him as she set the bottle of water down on the nightstand beside her. He undid hers first handing her the piece of chocolate.

Joss watched as John popped his into his mouth. She held hers up to his lips. "I'm not hungry just yet." she admitted softly. He nodded as he opened his mouth and let her place the candy on his tongue.

He motioned for her to lean back with him and he curled an arm around her. "Tell me about it," he asked as he ate the chocolate, setting the bag beside his hip.

Joss swallowed hard as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "It's the same dream I have all the time. You'd think I'd get used to it by now," she whispered.

"No one can get used to dreaming that they die; especially when they almost did," he replied softly as he rubbed her knee soothingly, running his fingers over the scar tissue there.

"I should get past it: I'm alive. I didn't die in the alleyway but that dream twists things because I can remember lying on that cold pavement with that excruciating pain; thinking I'm never going to see my son again. And I was going to die alone. And in my dream I do. I die alone," she whispered getting choked up again.

"Did you talk to anyone about these nightmares?" he asked gently.

Joss shook her head. "No. Had I tried to get back on the force it would have been mandatory but since I was medically retired; I never went to therapy," she admitted.

Felicia had tried to urge her to still go to the police's psych consultant to just talk about it but she didn't. She hadn't needed to talk to anyone to get over what happened in Fallujah; she figured she could handle the shooting. But the major difference between what happened in Fallujah and what happened in that alleyway was that she couldn't remember past hearing the click and seeing that Marine's eyes. Everything after that was a complete and utter blank, but, the shooting…she remembered everything up till the point when she passed out just as paramedics arrived.

"What about family?"

"I didn't want to worry my mother with this, she's older and has health problems; she doesn't need me to burden her about nightmares that I should get over," Joss stated forcefully. And talking to her son was out of the question: she was his mother. Taylor did not need to know she woke up crying and in a cold sweat because she was struggling to recover over her shooting. Children leaned on their parents not the other way around.

John shifted towards her further. "There is nothing wrong with having trouble moving past something traumatic and needing someone's help, Joss," he stated.

"Says the man that shut down and ran to hide after his wife died," Joss snapped and then closed her eyes immediately wishing the words back. "I'm sorry, John, that was uncalled for."

He was quiet for a moment. "No, what you said was the truth. I did shut down. I did run to hide from the memories that surrounded me because everywhere I looked I saw Jessica and the life we had that was taken from me." he admitted. "But our circumstances are different."

"I know. I am sorry for saying that. I am just upset with myself for letting these nightmares plague me and scare me and I lashed out. I don't know what it is like to lose a spouse or lose the hope of having a child. I have a son and I have an ex-husband," she said earnestly.

He rubbed her leg comfortingly. "I don't know what it was like lying on the pavement, alone, and thinking I'm going to die alone. I had some close calls but none like that," he murmured as he pulled out a Hershey Kiss for her and undid the wrapper. This time she allowed him to plop it on her tongue welcomingly, before tugging her close.

She snuggled into his body curling into his warmth. "What was your closest?" she asked as she felt him slide his fingers through her hair. Joss had seen several scars on his body; some clearly older while he had newer ones too, which she assumed he received working at this private security firm he founded with his friend.

John stared ahead as he felt his heart clench. "The closest was the day I buried Jessica; I got drunk and was depressed and the thought of life without her was unbearable…" he whispered. He felt Joss reflectively clutch him tighter. "…I didn't want to live without her. I didn't want to learn how to." It would have been so easy for him to take a walk on the Brooklyn Bridge and never return. He would be reunited with Jessica and wouldn't have felt like he was suffocating.

"So what changed your mind?" Joss asked softly; knowing this man was telling her something deeply personal and she was honored that he felt safe with her to share this with her. It made her feel like he was gifting her with something so precious that meant more than anything money could buy.

"Someone told me that Jessica wouldn't want that," he spoke, almost in a whisper. "I didn't want to hear it but Grace was right. Jessica would hate me if I took that walk on the Brooklyn Bridge." It was the only thing that had stopped him; hearing that Jessica wouldn't want him to do it.

"Who is Grace?—is she a sister?" Joss asked softly, grateful he was opening up to her a little.

He laughed gently. She loved hearing the rumble of laughter under her ear. "Not by blood but she's most definitely a sister. I met her in Italy when I was stationed there. She was in college studying abroad; she's an artist. I stopped a man who was making unwanted advances on her. The man was drunk and he had her pinned to the wall and had a hand up her skirt until I nearly snapped it off," he admitted.

"Good thing you were around…."

John nodded. "I wanted to beat the man's ass but Grace made me stop when I laid him out with one punch. He was so drunk he crumpled like a bad hand of poker. We've been friends ever since. I liked her, she reminded me of the girl next door and was very easy to talk to," he admitted. Not that he talked a lot but Grace never pushed. "She is actually married to the friend that I went in business with."

"Oh?"

"Harold is a wonderful man, a billionaire, and treats her with respect and with love. Grace found a good man," John said.

Joss smiled. "Sounds like you're protective of her," she murmured.

"I am. Grace has a gentle nature and she was my first real friend I ever made. I'm a quiet person so I never made many friends," he replied.

Joss lifted her head so she could look him in the eyes. "I think you do fine," she countered. John was an intelligent man and offered so much to the conversation once you could find a topic he wanted to talk about.

He chuckled softly as he shook his head. "That's because I'm with you…."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

He met her gaze directly. "I told you before Joss; there's something about you that is different and I'm not sure what it is but it makes me feel comfortable around you," he explained.

Joss nodded as she curled into him again, filing that away to think over later. Right now she was tired and wanted to rest in his arms. She yawned heavily. "Let's lay down; so you can sleep," he suggested as he grabbed the bag of Kisses, placing them on the nightstand before reaching over and snapping the lamp off.

Joss gladly laid back down and snuggled into John's arms to get comfortable. And for the first time ever after her nightmare she fell asleep instantly.

* * *

John awakened to the fact that he was holding something warm and soft. And when he became aware of what he was holding that was warm and soft; he grew hard. He nearly groaned out loud at the potent effect waking up with Joss in his arms had on him. She was asleep still with her back to him and ass pressed against him. He leaned on his elbow to glance down at her sleeping face and smiled. She was out cold which made him happy that she could fall asleep and restfully after that terrible nightmare. But he didn't want her sleeping for much longer. His gaze shifted off her sleeping face and to the clock seeing it was after seven in the morning.

Bear would be very displeased if he didn't get him his breakfast and out to pee by seven-thirty. But Bear would understand if he was late a little. John pressed a kiss to her cheek and she didn't even rouse a little. He smiled. Well he would just have to get creative.

John eyed the black tee that she pulled on after the nightmare. It was large on her petite form. His eyes slid down her body as he shoved the comforter off them and twitched in response as he eyed her ass as the shirt was wrapped around her waist leaving her bare to him. He shifted so he could urge her onto her back and pushed the shirt up further to expose her breasts. He lifted his hands and palmed her breasts enjoying her nipples react immediately to his touch.

John grinned as she mumbled something as her back arched a little to press her breasts more firmly in his light touch.

"Spread your legs a little, Joss," he purred as he shifted his body so he could kneel between her legs. She subconsciously followed his order as she was still asleep but also slowly awakening. He sure hoped she loved how he planned on waking her up.

He leaned over her and lightly kissed her nipple before he teased it with his tongue. Her nipple hardened under his tongue and he rolled the other between his fingers. His mouth was enjoying her breasts but his hunger shifted as he let his knee brush her intimately. He could feel the heat ebbing there and felt the growing moisture collect against his knee as she grew aroused from his teasing. But she was nowhere near ready for what he wanted: to be buried deep inside her and dragging them to see heaven one more time before the morning brought their time together to an end.

John, with one last suckle, finally moved his head to press a kiss to the valley between her breasts then to the scar and made a path downwards. He held her hips as her lush body gently lifted to meet his lips seeking his touch. He swirled his tongue on her fevered skin before nibbling her belly button. He pressed warm kisses to her hip and then her thigh as he stretched out to lie down between her legs. John kept his attention elsewhere than where he longed to bury his mouth. He wanted to focus some loving attention on her knee. He caught some skin between his teeth in a teasing bite and she moaned. He laughed gently when her hips lifted and he shifted his focus from her knee to what laid bare before him.

"Your wish is my command, Joss," he purred as he licked her and held her down as her whole body jerked in reaction. She was wet but not nearly as much as he wanted her.

Joss moaned loudly as he settled on her. His tongue was thorough in making sure he caressed every quivering spot of her core and loved as her excitement grew. He wandered his hand down and sunk two fingers deep inside her to test her readiness and she reflectively clenched around his fingers. John allowed Joss to grind into his mouth and let her set the rhythm she wanted. He sucked gently drawing a husky and low cry from her throat.

He pressed one last kiss as his own arousal grew. John got to his hands and knees and smiled down at her as her eyes were open and staring at him. "Good morning, Joss," he purred as he urged his boxer-briefs down, before kneeling and positioned himself to enter her easily.

Joss gasped as he filled her fully, forgetting whatever she had wanted to say in reply.

He held her hips tight as he moved inside her. She matched the pace he set and soon they were moving together. John bent over her and captured her mouth with his, letting his tongue mimic his actions. Joss wrapped her arms around his neck as their orgasms built steadily and quickly; he heard her soft cry as her body tightened but he continued thrusting into her harder and faster to take them to paradise.

* * *

AN: Good morning to Joss ;D Now I know you guys are wondering WTH is going to happen now that they kind of gave into their feelings...well there is a dash of angst, some fluff, smut, maybe more smut and fluff not necessarily in that order :)

Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

Joss was delightfully sore from their late night festivities so she was very ginger when washing between her legs during her shower that morning. But she wasn't so sore that if John wanted another go around; she was more than willing. He took great care in making sure she was ready for him which John sure seemed to enjoy.

After the wonderful wakeup call she received from John; he had kissed her and climbed out of bed to take a quick shower so he could go feed and let Bear out. He claimed the dog was going to be mad and she half wondered if he was telling the truth since that damn dog seemed more human than dog. She had lied in bed, trying to collect herself and just watched him as he strode to his bathroom naked and unashamed; which was good for her since John had a nice body from head to toe. Joss had lounged in his bed for a while just to get the beautiful sight of John dressing after his shower. When he pulled out another pair of jeans she wanted to applaud his choice; jeans and John was like peanut butter and jelly, they were just made for each other.

When he left the room she had remained in his bed for a little while longer to think before wanting to go grab her own shower, reflecting on the night they had together. It left her somewhat shaken by how much it meant to her. How could John mean so much so quickly? Last night had been amazing as it had been a relief and also it felt like a start to a new beginning.

They made love several times and it wasn't just sex; it might have been until the moment she woke up from that nightmare. Everything changed at the exact moment. She had cried in front of him, told him about her nightmare, something she never done before; he reciprocated with telling her his thoughts of committing suicide after losing Jessica and dealing with trying to move on. She was glad he had a friend that got through to him; this Grace sounded like her kind of person. And then he held her so tightly, so warmly as they both fell to sleep and that was the first time ever since the shooting that she had fallen back to sleep after the nightmare. She never could before. She never could put what she saw in her dream out of her mind to go back to sleep. If she had been at home she would have put the TV on and just watched bland infomercials for the rest of the night. Joss wasn't sure if her newfound ability to go asleep after it was because John was the first person she ever told the dream too so it diminished its intensity or was it because she felt safe with him. Or perhaps it was a combination of both.

But that brought her to her present dilemma as she stood in the bathroom to get ready for the day. Joss had finished her shower and redid her hair then applied makeup very slowly to prolong the morning after conversation that she didn't really want to have. She knew she couldn't hide in the bathroom forever but she was afraid that John was going to regret last night; but she couldn't, not in a million years! John meant more to her than just some casual fling but she didn't know what to do about it. She didn't even know if there was anything that she could do since she was leaving today as she promised yesterday.

Joss had tested her ankle and it was finally feeling good enough that she didn't need the crutch. She quietly exited the bathroom ready to face John. She moved gingerly down the stairs and smiled at Bear who sat at the landing waiting for her.

"Look Bear; no crutch," she teased and Bear barked happily as he rubbed up against her and licked her hand sweetly. Joss let Bear rush ahead of her to the kitchen to lead her to his master and she followed much slower unsure of her welcome.

She cleared her throat as she came in and saw him with his back turned to her as he stood near the stove. Joss raked her gaze over him as he turned to look back at her. She did feel a tad smug at the sleepy look in his eyes. God did he look so good in the morning light and so relaxed. What would look even better is if John had decided to parade around in his underwear and decide to cook in just them.

He smiled as he flipped pancakes and noticed as she moved that she didn't have a crutch with her. "Foot's feeling better?" he asked quietly.

"Yea, much better actually; it still hurts a little but not enough that I can't walk on it." she murmured as she lightly limped over to the barstool. She waited for the awkwardness to erupt but none came and they almost fell into easy silence as before they slept together.

John turned and put a plateful of pancakes in front of her. She looked up and he bent close brushing his lips with hers. She sighed as she kissed him back happily. He pulled back after a tender kiss that she longed to deepen. It surprised her since she had feared that John was going to regret last night.

"So I take it I was worrying for nothing," she murmured.

He frowned. "I'm not sure I know what you mean, Joss."

"I thought you might regret last night."

John shook his head. "There are a lot of things that I regret doing or not doing; last night is not one of them," he reassured her. And then his look grew guarded. "Unless you…"

"No. No, I don't regret last night at all," she said instantly as she reached a hand out to lay on his. "But I do regret the timing of it. I leave today." His guarded expression didn't change. She had no clue what he was thinking and it irritated her because she made a living reading and understanding people's mannerisms and body language.

John knew she was going to call for a towing company to come out today but he had thought after last night that she might want to stay a little longer. Clearly he had been wrong. He didn't know why he felt that aggravating pang in his chest again at the thought of her leaving.

"First you should eat before you call," he suggested quietly instead of asking her to stay; that would be an awkward position he would be placing her in to have to tell him outright no.

Joss felt her shoulders slump having hoped he would ask her to stay. She wanted to stay a few more days and explore these feelings he roused inside her or at the very least try to burn off this sexual need she had for him but wanted an invitation to.

"Yea, good idea John." She forced herself to sound upbeat.

Once he made his own pancakes and sat down beside her to eat did she begin to sadly dig into her own and decided to eat very slowly to delay the inevitable.

* * *

Joss stood on the driveway near John's garage door, with Bear by her feet, as John and the tow truck guy—Pete—talked. Her eyes never left John. How could you look anywhere else than at him?—he could literally take your breath away. Her eyes were drawn to him like moths to a flame. But she forced herself to not let her mind wander to what might have been but rather focus on what was enfolding in front of her right now. Pete had easily pulled her car from the ditch and sat it on John's driveway near the bottom. John had walked to her to get her keys and try to start the vehicle. The poor black Nissan Altima refused to turn over; probably feeling betrayed by being left in the ditch for days. She watched as the two men talked and motioned at her car before John turned and approached her.

Her heart did an irritating pitter patter as he moved towards her as their eyes met and she couldn't quite discern the expression residing on his handsome face.

"I take it that my car isn't starting." she stated the obvious. She had been putting off packing her suitcase, claiming it was to see if her car would start but in reality she just didn't want to leave yet.

He shook his head. "No, it's not: so you have two options, Joss," he conceded and his amazing blue eyes were once again guarded. "You could have Pete tow you to Manhattan to get it to a mechanic because it's probably a dead battery or we could push your car into my garage and I can try to jump it once it has a chance to thaw. Your car's battery doesn't look that old."

Joss nearly leapt at the chance at staying but didn't want to be seen too eager to stay. "How long would it be ideal to let it thaw before we jump it?" she asked. Okay that sounded reasonable.

"Not sure Joss; at least a day or two, three at most." John murmured pushing his luck, hoping she wasn't a car enthusiast. "It did sit outside in record breaking temps," he added for effect.

If she stayed for a few more days then surely by then he could get her out of his system. Joss had to be just lust; he wasn't falling for her because he wouldn't let himself. He just missed holding a woman at night that's all. Zoe and his agreement didn't include such things and the mere idea of holding Zoe left a bitter taste in his mouth. John let his eyes slip to Joss; he just wanted to hold her. She was soft and warm, and so damned tempting. After these few more days Joss would be gone, back to her home and family that she had, and he would be back to being alone as he wanted. Her son…and John felt nearly attacked by his conscience that he was leading her astray about her car just because he wanted to spend more time with her; she had a son and life she had to get back to.

Joss watched as the guarded look on his face slipped a bit and she saw a trace of vulnerability from whatever he was thinking about and with it a whole host of conflicting emotions etched across his handsome face before it was all masked again. She wondered if maybe John didn't want her to leave any more than she wanted to go and hadn't extended an invitation to stay for the same reason she didn't ask.

"I'd like to stay, John," she said gently, grateful that she was being given another chance at staying for a few more days. Maybe in these next few days they could learn what was really going on between them and perhaps it would be easier for them both to be truthful about it.

John gave her a shy smile before nodding and motioning at Pete. "I'll go let him know and ask him to help push your car into my garage after I move my motorcycle," he mumbled. "We'll try to start it tomorrow."

Joss smiled as she watched John whirl around and head towards her car and Pete who was waiting for him. She looked at Bear who sat beside her. "Do you think he likes me as much as I like him, Bear? You know him better than me." she asked the brilliant dog quietly.

Bear whined as he leaned his head against her leg. Joss hoped that meant yes.

* * *

After Pete was paid (she had to fight with John to pay for it herself) and given a tip for helping push her car into John's garage; her and John had absconded off for warmth of his home and fireplace. He built a roaring fire and they promptly made out in front of it. She was on her back on the couch with John on top of her as their tongues dueled for control and dominance. His kiss was warming her up more than any fire could as she felt wet heat pool in her panties as their mouths made love.

He moaned as his home phone rang and broke the kiss to press a couple soft kisses to her face. "I'm ignoring it; probably a robo call anyway," he muttered and she was grateful because she wanted to move this to his bedroom. She didn't feel right making love in front of Bear.

John kissed her deeply as he framed her face with his hands and ground his growing erection into her intimately loving her cute little gasp that he swallowed. He was glad she was staying for another few days.

John groaned as his phone had stopped ringing and his cell began ringing nearly instantly. It had to be important. He forced himself to cease the kiss as his cell rang incessantly. "Hold this thought," he pleaded and Joss simply nodded as she reluctantly let him go. John kissed her noisily before climbing to his feet as she giggled. He grabbed his cell phone that rested on the end table near his cordless phone and frowned when he saw it was Machine Protective Services phone number; Harold rarely called from the security firm unless it was necessary. He answered instantly. "Hey Finch, what's going on?" he demanded abruptly and a little breathless.

Joss righted herself on the couch, fixing her mussed hair, and straightened her rumpled clothes while feeling oddly bereft without John's embrace and consuming kiss. She licked her lips; his kiss was different from other men because it felt like he put his entire being in it.

She listened to the one sided conversation and from John's rigid posture and the contorting of his handsome face meant it wasn't good. "Fire him Harold. I told you to get rid of him since day one," John announced angrily, his free hand on his hip.

Joss winced. That sounded even worse. There was more silence on John's end before finally he spoke once more; "The whole firm is built on word of mouth so one bad experience could ruin everything we worked so hard to create there. Do you really want to earn a bad reputation that Machine Protective Services isn't quality protection because you won't fire this guy?" he asked. More silence followed before John spoke again. "If he gives you a hard time tell him for me that I told you to get rid of him and if he has a problem with it; I'll be more than happy to explain it to him," he assured him icily. Joss nearly shivered at how chilly his voice got over whoever the phone conversation was about. It was obvious John didn't like the guy.

After another five minutes of tense conversation John hung up. "So what's going on?" she asked as he rounded his sectional and sat down beside her.

"My friend Finch has a troubling employee named Dillinger. I didn't want Harold to hire him to begin with but he insisted," he murmured, looking stormy.

"When did Finch hire him?" she asked, having a sinking suspicion she knew exactly when.

"After I told him I was going to sell my half of the firm to him and I was done," he admitted. Joss nodded as she suspected because it explained why he had a guilty look on his face. "I think Harold hired him because he had a similar Army background like me."

"So he was Special Forces then?"

John nodded in answer. "He was, but the problem with Dillinger is that he doesn't care about the people; he only cares about his paycheck and I tried to warn Harold off from hiring him because he reminded me of other guys I met on the other side, but Finch wanted another military man in the firm since I was leaving," he said with a muted sigh. Joss watched as he ran a hand through his short hair. "Then there is how he treats Harold."

"How does he treat the man that pays his checks?" she asked.

"Like second class," John snapped. "Harold lets it happen because he thinks he needs him in the firm when he doesn't. We have too many other good employees who are far better at protecting our clients, but don't have military experience than this guy."

He kept saying 'we' and 'our' which was indicative of how much he still cared about what he helped create with his friend Harold. Maybe Harold was holding out hope that if he kept coming to John with problematic employees or clients than he would want to come back. And it seemed to her that it was working but she kept her mouth shut since she wasn't sure if that was what was going on or not; it was merely a hunch she had.

"I heard you say something about him hitting on women…."

John nodded as he looked at her. "Dillinger went on a case but instead of protecting his client he hit on multiple women and didn't take the case seriously. The client called Harold right away and thankfully it was a client we know well but he wasn't very happy with Dillinger. Harold asked me what to do and I told him to fire him."

"Why would your friend even consider keeping him on after doing that?" Joss asked, feeling more and more that her hunch was right. This guy sounded like a loser if you asked her and didn't deserve to be working in the protective services. Her friend Shaw worked at a private security firm but she never asked her which one. She would make sure to ask Shaw the next time she saw her.

"Because Harold views Dillinger as a project; he thinks he can help him as I helped Lionel. But Lionel and Dillinger are completely different because Fusco wanted to be different, Dillinger doesn't," he said angrily. "Thankfully I think I got it through his head to cut this guy loose and if Dillinger gives him any trouble then he'll have to answer to me," he vowed.

"You think he's going to create a scene?"

"I think Dillinger thinks he can intimidate Harold; I'm not so easily swayed," John answered.

The one and only time he met the man it had been chilly; it was clear Dillinger didn't like him. John wasn't new to jealousy and Dillinger was jealous of him for some reason, but it hadn't mattered because he had been just as frosty. John didn't like the way he eyed Shaw or Grace. He knew Shaw could take care of herself and would make roadkill out of him if he so much as even tried to flirt with her, but Dillinger should have been looking at Shaw as a co-worker and a colleague. And he shouldn't even have looked at Grace like he had; she was married to his boss. He could tell that Dillinger had made Grace uncomfortable with his leer as she had stayed by his and Shaw's side. Dillinger objectified women and it angered him, women should be treated with the utmost respect and care and he had warned Dillinger about. And as he had promised Dillinger, if he ever looked at Grace that way again or made her uneasy; he would snap his head off.

Joss felt her interest piqued even more about this Lionel he mentioned than just his conflicted feelings about being away from the private firm he used to part own. "Who is Lionel?" she asked, unable to stop herself. She was finally getting him to talk about things and the more he said the more she wanted to know.

John laughed and the harsh lines on his face lightened. "Lionel is a friend now, but I'm sure when we first met he viewed me as the bane of his existence," he explained with laughter still lacing his warm low voice.

"Okay now you have to tell me more! You can't tease a former interrogator and detective with a statement like that," she humored.

He shrugged as he looked away. "It was about a month or so before Jessica died and I was walking from a restaurant to head home when I heard a commotion in one of the alleyways," he started his explanation. "I turned and found this overweight man getting his ass kicked by a couple guys so I broke it up."

Joss smiled. "By breaking it up do you mean: kick their asses?" she asked dryly. John was Special Forces and she could easily see him taking down five or six guys by himself without so much of breaking a sweat.

He smiled in turn. "Not at first, but apparently Fusco owed quite the amount and when I offered to pay what he owed, suddenly they wanted more claiming interest. So I paid the interest up in my own way."

"With your fists," she supplied.

"They should have just taken the money I gave them," he agreed with a shrug. "But after that I found out quite a bit about Lionel. He was a detective at a precinct in Queens when his marriage hit the rocks because he was being too busy hanging out with the guys after work than being a husband and father. His wife left him and he began drinking and showed up to work drunk after receiving divorce papers."

Joss winced at that. "He lost his job,"

"Yea, his captain wasn't too happy. After he lost his job he nearly lost his place to stay as he fell behind on rent and was close to losing visitations with his son and thrown in jail as a deadbeat father when I found him. He was gambling trying to drum up money quick to remain in Lee's life. So I paid off his bookies and offered him a job at the firm on two contingencies," John said as he grew more relaxed as he talked about Lionel.

"What were the contingencies?" she asked as she leaned into him. It sounded like John had a soft spot for helping those who couldn't help themselves.

"He had to get sober and remain sober and no more gambling; if he did either I would withdraw my help and he would fend for himself, but if he could do those things than I would help him," he replied simply. "Now Fusco is five years sober and is in a good place. He swings by here once a week to keep up the grounds for me. I let him since he thinks he's doing something to help me since I helped him."

Joss tried to ignore yet another flutter of her heart. The more she learned the more she fell for him. He had helped a man that nearly lost everything just because John had a good heart.

"So this Lionel was the one that insisted on putting up that gorgeous Christmas tree?" she asked as her eyes slid to the said tree. It didn't look like the kind of tree an ex-cop would pick but then maybe he really was into Christmas.

John smiled a little. "No. Joan picked it out while Fusco helped load it into here and decorate it." he admitted. "Joan loves Christmas." So had he until he had no reason to celebrate anymore.

She recalled the first day she got there he'd said: housekeeper and groundskeeper. Lionel was the groundskeeper which must mean this Joan was his housekeeper. "Joan is your housekeeper?"

"That, and a very dear friend." John agreed.

Joss nodded. "How did you meet her?" she asked, knowing there had to be a story there.

"She was a homeless woman I met while Jessica and I worked the soup kitchen every Wednesday evening."

"And you got her out of there," she murmured.

He shrugged. "Joan just needed some help; that's all. First I got her a job cleaning the offices but when I left she wanted to take care of me so I agreed to let her clean this place once a week." he admitted. "I didn't really want the company but it made Joan happy."

Joss leaned into him and he looked at her. "Do you have any idea how amazing you are, John?" she asked, truly in wonder if he realized it or not. At the look on his face it was clear he did not. Not many would even care about the homeless which was the sad truth of it all. She wanted to know more. She needed to know more about him but was afraid that the more she learned the more she'd fall with no hope of finding her footing again. But first she needed to kiss him more than anything right at the moment. She captured his lips with hers; not really sure he was real because men like him were hard to come by. He sighed as he kissed her back as he cupped the back of her neck.

If John was to be believed: he was a dead man, but she wouldn't mind being the reason he found to start living again.

* * *

AN: Sorry for the length. Next chapter some 'fun' stuff happens...and no, it is not smut. I know where some of your minds went ;D


	14. Chapter 14

Joss learned John was definitely real a few times over the course of the night last night if the well fucked feeling she had was any indication.

They sat on his couch the next morning after eating some French Toast, both lounging in nothing special just jeans and tees, anything that was easy to remove to have at each other. She had decided to leave off her bra and panties; they were useless anyways. She had her legs propped up on his lap as he was inspecting her ankle. She would have told him her ankle was feeling much better but then she'd be giving up having his hands caressing her and she wasn't stupid.

John had tried to start her car but thankfully the car wasn't having any of it. Joss hoped the battery was utterly dead with no hope of revival so she could just stay as long as John was willing to have her. Last night in between sex, dinner, and conversation with John; she called her son and told her son the truth about where she truly was, which hadn't gone over too well until she admitted to liking John. He was still a little upset but he relaxed knowing she felt comfortable where she was and was actively seeking to stay with John. Joss knew when she got back home that she was in for a lecture from her teenage son but she had a trump card to combat him: she was his mother and old enough to know what the hell she was doing.

She let out a bubble of laughter as she was drawn from her thoughts when John's index finger slid across the arch of her foot making her giggle. He smiled when he looked up. "You're ticklish here?" he asked as he repeated the action making her laugh harder. She tried to slide her feet free but he grabbed her good foot tight.

"No, I'm not." she lied and when he tilted his head and grinned it literally stole her breath.

John eyed her mischievously. "You wouldn't be lying now would you, detective?" he inquired as he poised his hand near her foot to tickle her again.

"I'm not," she insisted. John wiggled his fingers against her foot, Joss tried really hard to not laugh but she was unsuccessful as laughter escaped her and she tugged her good foot free at last. "You win: I am ticklish there. You got your answer now you don't need to tickle me anymore," she reasoned.

"I wonder where else you're ticklish." he murmured lowly as his gaze went dark and smoky as he gazed at her body.

"Don't you dare," Joss cried as his grin grew wicked as he reached out to grab her. She wiggled to her feet and danced out of his reach before he could tickle her some more. Her injured ankle hurt a little and her damaged knee was stiff as she moved but not enough to stop her from trying to flee playfully.

She squealed in laughter as she dashed off and John followed in hot pursuit with large strides chewing up the distance between them. She ran into his nearly vacant dining room, except for a round table that held nothing whatsoever, and they danced around it. John looked very much the predator and she damn well wanted to be his prey. She faked going to the right then made off for the left when he took the bait.

Joss laughed as she moved. "Eat my dust, John!" she called out as she entered his foyer from the other exit of the dining room.

"I have something else in mind to eat tonight Joss," he called out huskily which nearly had her stop the chase and let him catch her.

"You'll have to catch me first!" she shouted as she raced into his living room. Bear watched with avid interest as he wagged his tail. "Bear your master is slow!" she teased loudly, knowing John could hear her, and knowing he was going slow on purpose for her. Her knee made her painfully slow at running.

John stood in the large entryway blocking her path to the stairs. The sectional couch was between them. He smiled. "Slow?—you can make this easy on yourself Joss if you surrender," he murmured.

She cocked her head to the side. "Or maybe _you_ can make it easy on yourself John and surrender," she suggested as they both slowly moved, watchful of each other's movements. Years of experience and training was kicking in even with their playful chase. She was sure she hadn't had so much fun in a long while, certainly not since she was shot. She almost forgot what it felt like to have fun. At least her knee wasn't acting up so she could play along.

He eyed her warmly. "That's not going to happen; and once I catch you you'll be all mine until I decide to let you go," he purred seductively.

She stumbled a bit at the promise in his voice, having a good idea that being what his would entail which would be nothing short of amazing. John reached for her but she recovered and scrambled to get free of his reaching arm, not about to let him just win, and tried to make a run for his kitchen but John's reflexes were too good and he caught her around the waist as he laughed pinning her against the wall near his bathroom.

Joss was breathless from laughing, running, and desire. "You caught me," she said as she stared into his eyes. "Now what are you going to do with me, John?" she wondered as she cupped his cheeks barely resisting to kiss him. She let her fingers curl into his soft hair.

"I've thought about this since you got here," he purred as he held pinned to the wall, hands tight on her hips and she felt the telling sign that John was turned on being pressed against her intimately which made her want to squirm in need. She couldn't reach the floor with her feet as he held her up and she settled to wrap her legs around his hips.

"Thought about what?" she asked.

"Holding you up just like this and fucking you until you are crying my name," he whispered.

Joss whimpered at the thought. "Take me," she pleaded, wanting to be ravished by him again. John groaned as he dipped his head to kiss her when his front door opened and she froze at the sound.

"Well what do we have here?" John turned to look at who the intrusive voice belonged to, as Joan and Lionel stood in his foyer with smirks. He groaned as he set Joss on her feet and cleared his throat, putting on his best 'don't even start with me' face. It didn't work. "Now I know why you didn't want me coming around until now, wonder-boy, and here I thought it was because you wanted to give us the holidays off," Lionel commented.

"Lionel," he warned.

Joan grinned mightily. "Lionel and I listened to your gruff request about wanting to be alone for the holidays and we abided by them, so hush you," Joan said quickly as she moved swiftly wrapping an arm around Joss's elbow. "Come with me dear, and tell me all about yourself," Joan ordered joyfully.

Joss gulped, seeing the gleam in her eyes and she looked at John for help but he was in the middle of a quiet chat with the man who he called Lionel.

John watched as Joan led Joss to the kitchen before glaring back at Lionel who had a wolfish grin on his annoying face. "I thought I asked…"

"If you hadn't realized Mr. Sunshine it's January 3rd 2017, so we kept our promise," Lionel remarked with a smirk. "But it makes sense why the days for you are running together."

"Lionel," he growled again.

He laughed. "So how long have you and the pretty lady been an item?—it can't have been for long because you're still grouchy. I figured if you've been getting laid regularly it would help with that," Fusco said as he removed his bomber jacket and hung it up. At least he didn't have to shovel snow. He should text Glasses and Red to let them know the good news. He dug his cell out and texted Finch and Grace.

"Joss and I are not an item," he said as he ran a hand through his hair deciding if he should go rescue Joss from Joan or just kill both of his so called friends.

Fusco looked up from his cell and made a face. "You're going to try to get me to believe that; I'd have a better time believing you if you claimed Santa's real or pigs can fly or the Detroit Lions are going to win the Superbowl next year than believing you and your lady friend aren't something."

"We're not." John stated darkly.

"Well then you're just very happy to see me," Lionel deadpanned with a pointed look down. John refused to dignify that with a response. He couldn't hide the fact that he had an erection that was quickly softening since being interrupted by them, which worked better than any cold shower would. "Come on, John, just admit it: you and that woman are something."

John looked at him, not about to admit to anything. "Joss was traveling to a cabin for the weekend when the snowstorm hit. Her car slid into my ditch and she stayed here to get through the storm."

"And you kept her warm with your body heat. Haven't you heard of electric blankets?" he retorted.

"Lionel," he snarled not in the mood to listen to his quips.

Lionel held up his hands but kept the wide grin on his face. "You're worked up. I haven't seen you like this in a long time, Mr. Fabulous. You like this woman you call 'Joss'." he said.

John rolled his eyes. "You're worse than Grace," he commented.

He snorted. "Red wants you happy and I happen to agree with her," Fusco responded as his phone buzzed with a text. He smirked, speaking of the devil. He read her text and his brows rose; Grace wanted him to do what?—that surely would have wonder-boy's knickers in a twist. Lionel lifted his gaze from his phone to Reese who was storming his way into the kitchen to go rescue this 'Joss' from Joan's inquisition.

Lionel texted Grace back to give him fifteen minutes; he couldn't pass up the chance at riling the big guy up some more.

* * *

Joss smiled as she sat at the barstool as Joan rifled through John's fridge speaking warmly and very lovingly about John. It was clear that Joan loved him so. "Did he tell you what he did for me?" she asked after a moment.

"He did," Joss agreed.

Joan smiled. "That man is amazing, but I don't have to tell you that."

"No, you don't have to, Joan."

"Good; so if you hurt him there are a lot of people who care very much about John and they'll be very unhappy," Joan pointed out. Maybe she should tell this woman about Shaw. She was sure John hadn't told Joss about her. He didn't want this lovely woman to go running for the hills but she'd just imply that Shaw was friendly except for if John's feelings were hurt and then that was when she turned into a sociopath.

Joss smiled as she reached out to cover Joan's hand and the older woman looked up. "I don't want to hurt John," she said sincerely.

Joan nodded believing her and decided to withdraw the 'Shaw' threat. "So how did you two come to be?"

"Well I was on my way to my cabin for the weekend when the storm hit and I slid into his ditch. The storm was brutal and I sought refuge with John," she explained.

Joan grinned and Joss could swear she saw little hearts in her eyes. "That is so romantic," she breathed.

Joss chuckled softly. "Sort of; John didn't really care for my presence at first," she admitted.

Joan waved her off. "Oh don't pay him much attention; he doesn't mean to be such a fusspot," Joan stated and Joss nearly laughed and wondered just what in the hell was a fusspot. "His bark is bigger than his bite. I haven't seen him look at a lady like he looks at you since Jessie. Trust me when I say: John is smitten!"

"Who is smitten?" Joss's eyes widened as she turned away from Joan to look at John who spoke as he entered his kitchen looking cross. The man—Lionel—followed slower with Bear hot on his heels. He had a mischievous look on his face and she knew whatever it was; it wasn't good for her and John.

Joan looked at John. "You are with this beautiful woman," Joan said with a firm look at Joss.

"Joan, this is none of your business."

Joan laughed. "Your happiness is my business, John!—you made it so when you got me out of the encampment and gave me a purpose again," she pointed out.

"Me too, wonder-boy, so I guess you can say Glasses was right: this is the time your strays were gonna bite you in the ass!"

Joss kind of felt bad for John as he was being ganged up on by his friends. But it was clear they loved and respected him for all that he did for them. He exhaled roughly and looked to her pleadingly. What could she do?-tell them they couldn't care about his well-being. Nope. Not happening, not when she happened to agree with their concern for him.

John looked away from Joss and focused on Joan as she was making sandwiches. "Joan, how about you and Lionel head home for another week?—I'll be fine here."

Joan looked at him through her lashes. "I'll leave here when I'm good and ready, John," she said resolutely. "Besides I have an entire house to clean and I haven't gotten through talking with your lovely Joss yet."

Fusco sensed he had an opportunity to whisk this Joss away for a few moments while wonder-boy could try to lay down the law with Joan who would ignore him anyway.

"Can we talk a minute?" Lionel asked the pretty black lady.

Joss looked away from Joan and John to eye this Lionel who had a strong Boston accent. She nodded as she got to her feet. Joan already hit her, may as well let this guy feel her out too. This was like John's family she decided.

She followed Lionel out of the kitchen leaving John with Joan who had immediately moved close to talk to the woman quietly. She could hear Joan laughing and imagined John's scowl. John was hot when he was angry. She stopped directly in front of the short round man in the living room.

He eyed her. "I'm Lionel Fusco, by the way," he introduced.

"I'm Carter," she responded.

He smirked. Ah, 'Joss' was reserved for wonder-boy. "So Carter what is it that you do?" he asked.

"Nothing at the moment; I was medically retired from the NYPD. I was in Homicide at the eighth precinct when I was gunned down and left for dead," she recited quickly.

"I'm a former cop too."

"I know." she agreed.

Lionel grinned. "Mr. Happy told you about me?" he murmured.

"He did…."

"I'm glad; that means the big guy likes you. If he didn't he wouldn't have told you squat," Fusco explained.

Joss snorted. "John hasn't said much," she retorted.

He laughed heartily. "Wonder-Boy won't win any awards at being the most talkative but you still know more about him than most. He doesn't mean to be so prickly; he does it to keep people away."

She nodded solemnly. "I know. He told me about Jessica."

Lionel nearly welcomed her to the family because John rarely ever talked about Jessica to anyone. But he kept mum at the moment. "Then you know why he's the way he is."

She smiled a little. "Yes; I know why he has sought isolation even though I think you and the rest of his friends have let it go for too long," she admitted. "Haven't you ever thought about insinuating yourself into his life more. Maybe if he had more support he wouldn't be stalled in his grieving process," she stated firmly.

Lionel smirked, liking this one. She spoke her mind and didn't care to make a good impression with him. She cared about the big guy. "Red does all the bulldozing for all the good it does. He ran off here to get away from us," he pointed out.

Joss shook her head. "John ran here to hide from the pain; not from his friends. Now he's stuck in a rut," she replied.

"Well, his rut is out of whack right now with you two playing house together," he said and she rolled her eyes. Lionel glanced at his wristwatch and his cell rang fifteen minutes to the dot. Grace was punctual as usual. He answered it and held it out to Carter. "It's for you," he said simply.

* * *

AN: See fun(ish) stuff. Poor John...he just can't lay down the law with his friends.

Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

_**AN: Sorry this is so late. I don't know where the day went :/**_

* * *

Joss hesitantly took the cell phone Lionel held out to her and put it to her ear as she eyed him questioningly before saying; "Hello?"

"Hello," came an equally uncertain but feminine response. "Are you Joss?" the unknown woman asked.

"Yes," Joss played it cool. "And this would be?"

"I'm Grace Hendricks-Finch," she introduced herself.

Joss squashed the immediate shock that welled inside her. She didn't tend to feel the need to impress anyone; she was who she was and she was happy in her own skin, and if someone had a problem with her then so be it. She learned long ago in the Army and in the academy that you were always going to run into someone that thought they were better than her because of the color of her skin or her gender. Those people were simple-minded and she let their remarks roll off her without so much as giving them a moment of her time. But Grace was different. Grace was John's pseudo sister, someone that he clearly loved and Grace was the one that pulled John from the brink, getting him to hear reason. Grace mattered, her opinion mattered, and the reason why it did Joss wasn't willing to analyze just yet.

"It is so very nice to meet you, Joss." the woman said after a moment with a smile in her voice.

"Likewise,"

"Is John around?" Grace asked suddenly.

Joss glared at Lionel. "No. But if you want I could…"

"NO! No, please…I actually want to speak to you. I love John so very much but trying to pry anything out of him is a challenge," Grace admitted. "He hasn't showed any interest…or any real interest in a woman since Jessica and that has had me concerned about him. And then you landed on his doorstep and you're still there."

Joss closed her eyes. How the hell was she going to wiggle out of this without saying anything that incriminated her and John?

"Mrs. Hendricks-Finch,"

"Call me Grace, please." she interjected.

Joss smiled a little. "Grace," she replied. "I think this sort of conversation you want to have needs to be with John. John and I are…" she started then trailed off when she didn't know what to say. She couldn't say friends, no friend ever did the things to her that John had, and certainly no friend caused these kind of feelings in her either.

"I understand." she said with a sigh. "I didn't really believe you would tell me anything anyway. And I'm glad. You have integrity and care about John and his feelings. But can you answer just one question and I'll let you go. I promise."

Joss shrugged her shoulders. "Alright, I can't make any promises I'll answer it, but you can ask," she agreed.

It was quiet for several moments and Joss nearly wondered if the woman had changed her mind. She looked at Lionel and saw he was scrutinizing her. "Has he smiled at all?" came a soft voice on the other end.

Joss blinked in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"John. Has he smiled?" Grace asked.

She had to answer that question. Grace sounded close to tears and it spoke of how concerned she was about John. "He's smiled...a lot recently. I even managed to earn a laugh or two. John's healing, Grace, but it is just taking time. He lost his wife and a chance to have children," she murmured.

Grace was quiet again for a moment. "Thank you Joss, for answering. I know you didn't have to and I appreciate the fact that you did. It relieves me. But I better let you go before John realizes I'm talking to you, but it was nice talking to you," she said happily before hanging up on her.

Joss eyed the phone and handed it to Lionel. He smirked, "If Red likes you then Mr. Fabulous is going to be in deep trouble," Lionel muttered. Red was going to hound wonder-boy until he gave in.

"I'm not sure," Joss admitted and then worried her lip. Even if she did manage to get Grace to like her that didn't mean John was going to want to pursue anything further than a fling with her. Everyone was getting ahead of what John might want and that was what was important to her: what he wanted. She just hoped it would mesh with what she wanted too.

Fusco felt his phone buzz with an incoming text. He looked at it and grinned before saying, "Good news, Red's happy for wonder-boy."

"Grace is happy for me about what?" John asked, looking mighty cross that he was once again entering an end of a conversation that was about him.

Joss looked at John but Fusco answered; "Red is happy for you because you were forced to ring in the new year with someone rather than being alone again. You know how Red hates when you're all alone," he lied smoothly. Well it wasn't technically a lie; Grace did hate wonder-boy being up here, alone and isolated.

John didn't look fully convinced that was what was said but nodded. "Lionel, you and Joan can go now. I think you caused me enough grief."

"Not nearly enough if you ask some," Lionel remarked dryly with a smirk thrown Carter's way.

Joan rolled her eyes as she exited the kitchen. "I gave him our word we'd go with a promise we'd be back next week sometime, Lionel. John wants some alone time with Joss," she explained with a waggle of her brows.

Joss hid a smile as John looked ready to throttle Joan. The two friends were gone after a few minutes and they left in their wake a grumpy John. "I need a damn drink," he growled as he whirled around and stormed into his kitchen.

She shifted her gaze onto Bear. "Should you or I go in there and calm him down?" she asked and Bear immediately laid his head down on the doggie bed. "Oh nice one, Bear: leave me the tough job!" she accused but not really upset.

Joss slowly entered his kitchen and saw he was gulping down some beer. "Hey," she called out.

He looked at her as he slammed the beer bottle down. "I'm shocked you haven't run out the door and fled to hitchhike to the nearest neighboring town," he muttered.

"Hitchhike?—it would be just my luck to be picked up by the real life Freddy Krueger!" she scoffed as she leaned her forearms on his kitchen island and rested her hands on his before growing serious. "They didn't mean any harm, John; I like that you have friends that care about you."

"Joss they made it sound…" he started before he trailed off.

"I know, but your friends are your family and they have the right to worry about you," she agreed. "And about what they insinuated; how about we live in the moment, John?—I'm learning after nearly being fatally shot that you need to just live in the moment you have. I'm not looking at tomorrow or the day after that or the day after that, not when right now is happening. Looking ahead might make you miss what's right in front of you," she murmured as she straightened and moved close to press soft kisses to his cheek, then jaw, before capturing his earlobe in between her teeth. "And I don't want to miss a single thing about you," she whispered against his skin.

John leaned back as he wrapped an arm around her waist, letting his hand land on her butt. She kissed him on the lips first lightly to tease him before deepening it as she pressed him back against his refrigerator. He let her dominate the kiss as he responded to her and she groaned at the sign of sweet surrender.

Joss gathered his shirt's hem in her fists and lifted; breaking the kiss long enough to draw his shirt off him, leaving his chest bare. She kissed him again; this time much more urgently and passionately. She raked her nails down his ribcage, scraping his scorching hot skin and loved the moan he made. His lips grew demanding and she let him take control of the kiss. She had much more pressing matters to attend too as she let her fingertips trace his naval, feeling the muscles bunch under her flirting hand.

She undid his belt and the snap slowly because John's hands were wandering over her body; tweaking her nipples through her shirt, making focusing on what she was doing much more difficult. Joss pushed free of the kiss as she let her right hand sneak into his pants and grabbed the elastic of his underwear in a firm grip.

"Come with me; we need to finish something you started," she purred, trying to sound seductive but instead she sounded breathless from his thorough kiss. She gave a tug on his underwear to make him realize she meant business as she tried to ignore the heat that she could feel ebbing from his dick she could see was pressing up his jeans that she hadn't fully undone yet. She had been afraid if she undid his zipper and those jeans fell to his ankles then getting him upstairs would have been all but impossible.

John's blue eyes were dark and sparkling with desire as he followed her as she pulled him forward towards his staircase. John surely had no idea how much willpower it was taking to not let her hand slip all the way into his underwear and touch his warm and hard cock that was sitting there waiting for her. He grabbed her hips and lifted as they came to the landing and she wrapped her legs around his waist and moaned as he pressed against her.

He stole a kiss or two as he carried her up the stairs and to his bedroom, but instead of resting her against the wall as she wanted, he set her on her feet.

"I thought you said…" she trailed off as she looked over her shoulder to the wall and then back at him, silently finishing her statement.

He caressed her face before reaching down to draw her shirt up and off. "I want too. But I need to get you naked first." he murmured as he slowly undid her jeans next. John pushed them down and helped her step out of them. "Beautiful," he moaned as he pressed a hot kiss to the apex just above her thighs.

Joss groaned as she leaned her head back and spread her legs wanting his mouth buried between her legs. But John pressed a kiss to her stomach, then her breasts as he stood up and then kissed her deeply as he undid the zipper of his jeans pushing them and his underwear down.

She moaned as she found herself swept up into his arms and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his midsection as he guided himself inside her wet heat. "God, you're so wet." he moaned as he rested her against the wall as he slid to the hilt inside her on one thrust.

Joss wiggled in his tight grip with her breasts even with his mouth and found being held up like this so damned hot. She gasped as his tongue found a nipple with ease and remained rigid and unmoving inside her. She clawed his back trying to spur him on but all it did was incite him to suck and nibble at her breast before he drew on it hard.

He lifted his head to smile at her. "Now that I got you here; I want to make this last," he murmured.

"You're killing me though," she complained as she tried to wiggle her hips but he held them so tightly that she didn't accomplish any sort of movement. She moaned as her thigh muscles quivered as she tightened them hard at his sides; her vaginal walls clenched around him as she shifted against the wall. "God John, please move…"

John nodded as he let go of her hips to grab her thighs at his sides and she desperately clutched his shoulders in her hands as he drew his hips back slowly drawing himself from being in her to the hilt to nearly the point of being fully out, to only slam back in and she cried out in happiness. He kept the slow and methodical thrusts for a while, eyes on hers. He timed a stroke to force another cry from her; and she didn't disappoint as her head leaned back against the wall as she cried out his name. He sped up his pace pounding inside her before slowing down, eliciting a moan of frustration.

"John," she panted as he slowed his pace to a crawl, enjoying teasing her to the point of no return. John loved that she helpless to do anything but be fucked and finally getting her where he wanted he could feel his own orgasm barreling forward. He had no hope of stopping it; his only wish was he could get her there before he came.

Joss cried out in ecstasy and dug her nails into his skin at his shoulder blades as he sped up his thrusts once more and this time didn't slow down; tension mounting inside her. John continued to thrust fast and hard, pummeling her pussy with his throbbing dick that was straining inside her, close to his own orgasm.

Hers was flitting just out of reach, but as she watched him fly over the edge, stiffening deep inside her, moaning her name softly, and coming in hot waves of pleasure as he emptied himself inside her, tripping her own orgasm. Joss clutched John tightly as she screamed but to muffle it she bit his shoulder that had him moaning loudly in response as he pinned her to wall, jerking his hips towards hers, both helpless but to ride out the powerful force of their orgasms.

John sagged against the wall, barely remembering he could squish her, so at the last moment he lifted his arm to rest his forearm against the wall as he let go of her legs and she wrapped them around his hips. He laid his head against her chest as he struggled to breathe normally.

Joss shuddered and quivered from the force of her orgasm as she held him in her arms, feeling like jelly.

He was quiet as he rested against her. "Was it as you hoped?" she asked softly, a little unevenly as her breath was still coming fast.

He swallowed hard because it had been even better than he hoped. "Yes," he answered softly.

* * *

AN: Poor Joss she had to 'settle' down John after Lionel and Joan riled him up ;D

Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

Joss yawned when her bladder woke her up in the middle of the night. She twisted her head to look at John over her shoulder and smiled as he held her tight, shared her pillow, and was sound asleep. God was he beautiful to look at. But she could look her fill once her bladder was relieved. She looked down at his arms that were banded around her just under her breasts, holding her snugly to him. Extracting herself from his arms was going to be difficult.

It was like an exercise because she didn't want to wake him and he had his thick thigh wedged between hers which kept rubbing against her gloriously; nearly making her moan but pee first then sex. Joss smiled triumphantly once she got his leg from between hers; she giggled at the grumble of protest he made as she managed to get his arms from wrapped around her, so she quickly grabbed the pillow he was supposed to be using to substitute her.

"I'll be right back and it will be my turn to wake you up," she purred as she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before sliding out from under the covers before he could snap his arms around her realizing the thing he was holding was a pillow.

The night's air was kind of cool on her bare skin and she didn't have her oversized pajama shirt to slip on because it was left in the bedroom she was supposed to be sleeping in. She eyed the sexy sleeping man and decided he wouldn't mind if she used one of his. Joss crept silently to his dresser and searched for a shirt to wear; once she found one she tugged it on and the soft solid colored short sleeve shirt enveloped her small frame, so that the hem sat at her thighs.

Joss tip-toed to the connecting bathroom and relieved her poor tortured bladder. Once she was finished and washed her hands, she swished out her mouth with some water before exiting the bathroom. She eyed John knowing just how she was going to wake him up but she needed one little ingredient to make it even more fun. And she knew he had whip cream because she'd seen it.

"I'll be right back; don't go anywhere," she whispered before grinning as she headed for the door. She never woke up a man in such a way before and she certainly never used whip cream in foreplay either. Her sex life before John had been mild, she decided.

After checking on Bear, who lied in his doggie bed out like a light, she limped into the kitchen and made sure he had enough water in his bowl, before focusing on why she came down here in the first place: whip cream. She grinned as she swiped the can out of the fridge with glee.

"It will be my turn to eat," she said softly to herself before slinging the door closed and scooted out of the kitchen, wishing she could still skip in happiness to the staircase.

Thoughts of how and where she was going to use the whip cream on John first swirled through her mind like a sexy whirlpool when a sound near the front door stopped all her sinful thoughts.

Her sharp gaze immediately went to the door and all her senses went on high alert. She froze waiting to see if it was the wind. She hadn't been in John's home long enough to know all the creaks and groans it made during normal settling and wind storms.

Adrenaline pumped through her veins when she could make out a silhouette through the frosted glass of the long rectangular window beside his front door, followed by the sound of the door's lock being picked. Her gaze shifted off the door to look upstairs wishing to call out to John to call the police but she didn't have enough time. The intruder would be in and she would lose the element of surprise.

Joss rushed in the dark and hid against the wall closest to John's garage. Her breathing was steady as she lied in wait. The door opened slowly and whooshing wind spilled in and Joss shivered from the cold that rose goosebumps up on her skin. She held her breath, as what she could make out was a man, closed the door and when he turned to look at the staircase was when she struck.

She launched herself onto his back, dropping the can of whip cream, and he let out a startled shout. The man was taller than her but she wrapped her arm around his neck, trying to get the sleeper hold on him, but found herself being flipped onto her back and she landed against the hardwood floor hard. She hissed in pain but otherwise kept her wits about her.

Joss heard a harsh growl and then a roaring bark as Bear lunged at the intruder letting her get a chance to get to her feet. Bear had a mouthful of a forearm which had the man screaming in pain. Joss saw the glint of the gun; smelled alcohol reeking off the guy.

"Of course Reese has a bitch and a dog," the man slurred.

Joss watched in rage as the man flung Bear off him, wrenching his arm free, and aimed the gun at him! She charged at him; careening her shoulder into his midsection and it felt like she hit a brick wall. But she didn't let the pain in her shoulder stop her. They came to an abrupt halt when the man's back hit the front door. She lifted, grabbed his wrist holding the weapon and twisted, causing him to drop the gun he had, before punching him hard in the face.

He shouted in anger. "Fucking bitch," he snarled as he swung a punch her way and she ducked but he kicked her hard, in her bad knee, and she cried out as she went down.

Bear once again attacked as the man moved close to her as she held her surgically repaired knee, the pain was white hot, making her want to pass out. She prayed she wouldn't.

This time the man was ready for Bear as he produced a knife and stabbed Bear, who yelped harshly. Joss reached out for Bear, who slid back stunned, and immediately felt for his wound forgetting about the excruciating pain in her knee.

"I got you, Bear," she whispered and thanked god the knife hit him in the paw and didn't feel too deep; but the dog was gearing up to attack again and surely this time the man wouldn't make the same mistake.

"Nee! Bewaken!" Joss blinked in surprise at John's harsh voice as he commanded the dog. Bear stopped but stood up and put himself in front of her and stayed there; teeth showing at the intruder.

Joss watched John who she had not seen or heard coming, except for commanding the dog to apparently guard her, attack the intruder. She didn't need light to see the murderous look in his eyes as he attacked the man; the little light from the moonlight showcased the rage on John's face, who was stark naked, kicking the man's ass. He already easily disarmed him of the knife which clattered to the floor. Joss watched as John's hand wrapped around the man's neck tightly as he gasped and clawed at the hand at his neck.

"John let him go!—Bear and I are okay." she called out shaky from pain.

She didn't think he was going to let the man who broke in go but after a moment he released his grip on whomever he was close to strangling to death, simply delivering a well-placed punch that had the man crumpling to the ground unconscious.

John flipped the light switch on, filling his foyer with a soft glow, and kicked the knife and gun that were on the floor away from the limp hands of the intruder as he hurried to where Joss and Bear were huddled together near the staircase.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he touched her face gently and Bear behind his ears.

Joss nodded. "Fine, he got a perfect hit in on my bad knee, so he was lucky or I'd kick that sorry ass for touching Bear," she growled with a hard look at the unconscious man before fixing her gaze back on John and softened it. "Bear's alright, he was stabbed but thankfully the man's aim was off because he was drunk; he got him in the paw," she murmured.

She could see the relief on John's face that both her and Bear were alright as he turned to look at who broke into his home to attack them. "Do you know him?" she asked.

"It's Dillinger. I'm going to call the police, Joss, I'll be right back." he murmured before looking at Bear and gave the dog a firm pat on the head. "Bewaken," he ordered and Bear rooted himself next to her and did not move as John rushed to go grab his phone.

She kept her gaze on Dillinger and a firm grip on Bear's wound while she sat on the floor waiting for the pain in her knee to subside.

* * *

The night didn't go exactly as planned because instead of having sex with John, they had a flurry of cops and paramedics surrounding them. The sweet male paramedics tried to urge her to go the hospital but the throbbing pain in her knee diminished thanks to the ice-pack wrap John made for her and a sore back where a bruise was coming out from the hard landing she took. Tylenol would be her friend which would help some. Bear's slice was superficial, thankfully, and didn't require stitches. The paramedics, the good guys they were, patched the dog up for John. It seemed Bear made an impression on the men, who kept petting the dog.

John's eyes had been hard on Dillinger who had come to as the police arrived and put him in handcuffs. He had gone upstairs to get a pair of jeans, so he wouldn't be naked when the cops arrived, but only after she reassured him a million times that she'd be fine with the unconscious man. Dillinger had tried to talk—or slur—his way out of it, that he was just upset that he had been fired and had too much to drink, he hadn't been thinking straight when he decided to try to kill John; which didn't sway the cops. Joss spoke to one of the cops and learned they were going to charge him with breaking and entering, animal cruelty, one count of felonious assault and battery, and one count of attempted murder which would most likely be reduced down to assault with intent to do great bodily harm. All in all she was pleased with the amount of charges the man was facing, so he should get a lengthy jail sentence. Joss couldn't even think of what could have happened had she not been up and getting whip cream; he could have crept in and Bear could have been killed defending them.

The cops and paramedics left about an hour ago and it was past five in the morning now. She had given John some alone time because he seemed to silently ask for it as he hovered near the dog, who lied in his doggie bed, asleep, and white bandage with a red stain visible. To give him time to himself she removed her wrap around her knee and though ginger, it was okay without any permanent harm done to that already damaged joint.

After coffee was finished brewing was when she unhurriedly strolled into his living room, feeling he had more than enough brood time. She slid her arms around John's waist as he stood staring out his large window. "We're okay, John," she whispered before pressing a soft kiss to his bare back on the cute little lone freckle that sat there.

He turned and tugged her into his arms. "I know. I was just thinking of what might have happened," he murmured softly.

She shook her head. "Can't do that; 'what ifs' can be the death of you. Bear and I are okay, Dillinger was stopped and is going to serve time for letting his anger get the best of him." she replied simply.

"I should have heard the commotion sooner," he snapped angrily that she didn't get it; he should have been protecting her and Bear. John had roused when he realized he was holding a damn pillow and not a soft sexy woman, which was then when he heard Bear bark and growl and his instincts took over. And when he saw Joss on the floor with Bear; fury burned bright inside him as he stormed down the stairs.

Joss thinned her lips. "I take credit for why you didn't," she stated and he looked at her. "John, you were tired. The only reason I was up was because I had to use the bathroom."

"Then why were you downstairs?"

She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "When I told the cops I came down to check on things it was partially true. I did come downstairs to check on Bear but it was only after I decided to go get whip cream to tease you awake." she admitted with a shy look. "In fact I don't even know where the can of whip cream went because that's when I heard the door being picked and adrenaline took over." she looked over her shoulder towards his front door before slipping from John's embrace to hurry over there. She poked around and found the can near the door that led to his garage. "AHA!" she called out as she picked it up.

Joss held it out to illustrate she wasn't fibbing to soothe his ego. "Now I guess this is no good," she pouted.

He shook his head as a small smile appeared on his face. "That would have been a hell of a lot better way to wake up," he muttered. She chuckled as she nodded her head in agreement. His eyes swept over her. "Are you wearing my shirt?" he asked huskily.

Joss looked down and then back at him. "Yea, it was cold and I didn't think you'd mind." she purred as she moved forward and set the can of whip cream down on the coffee table before sauntering back to him.

He cupped her hips as he pulled her flush against him before slipping his hands under the shirt to grab her bare ass, making her shiver in response. "You're definitely better looking in it than me," he murmured as he nuzzled his nose close to her neck before pressing a soft tender kiss there.

She cupped her hands gently around his neck and pulled her face back to stare into his eyes. "I want you to hold me in front of the fire." she whispered, knowing John wanted to stay close to Bear, and she was tired. They had barely gotten an hour or so of sleep before Dillinger showed up.

He smiled as he reluctantly let her go and turned to go start a fire and she limped to the kitchen to go get them their cups of Joe, taking the whip cream with her to trash it. When she came back in carrying their mugs; John had the fire going. She placed the mugs on the coffee table and sat down on the sectional with John.

He leaned back, kicking his legs up and tugged her into his side as they lied together on his couch. She was delightfully squeezed between his warm torso and the back of the couch as their legs intertwined. John grabbed her right hand and linked their hands together.

Joss closed her eyes as she snuggled into his embrace, breathing him in, enjoying being held by him and never wanting to move before her eyes snapped open in abrupt realization: she was falling in love with John and there wasn't a damn thing she could do to stop it.

* * *

AN: This chapter was extremely difficult for me to write. I am literally the biggest wimp when it comes to animals being in distress whether it's fictional or not. I cry very easily if an animal is hurt and I did writing this, but I sucked it up because I knew that Bear would defend his human mommy and daddy.

Thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

John nearly groaned out loud at the crick in his neck as he realized he had fallen asleep on the couch with Joss. The fire was out, Bear was snoring in his doggie bed, and Joss was sound asleep with her head cushioned on his chest. But even though his neck was beginning to hurt he had no desire to move. He finger combed through Joss's hair, hearing her mumble something incoherent as she snuggled further into him.

He stared up at the ceiling as he tried to determine what to do. Their time was going to come to an end soon. She had to get back to her real life. She had a son. She had a family, friends, a life to get back to and being selfish wasn't normally in his nature. But he was being selfish here. He was pretending her car was going to start eventually just because he couldn't work up the nerve to ask her to stay. He didn't know if she wanted to and he didn't know what it would mean if she did.

John's hand stilled in Joss's hair as a heavy realization dawned on him. He hadn't thought about Jessica once in the last two days. Not once. All his thoughts were consumed with the woman lying beside him; her laugh, her smile, the way she spoke so passionately about something she believed in. What did it mean?—he swallowed hard as he managed to gently free himself of Joss without waking her.

He entered the kitchen, grabbing his cell phone needing to call someone. He needed to talk to Finch. Finch would understand and explain to him that it was nothing. Joss was just a woman he was physically attracted too. He was just thinking about her so much because he was with her. Jessica still was the woman in his heart and always would be. Besides he needed to call Finch anyway and tell him what happened with Dillinger and then explain to his friend that it wasn't his fault.

But before he could call Finch, his cell rang. John frowned when he saw it was Shaw. He sighed as he answered it, "No, Shaw, I am not in the mood to buy you a steak."

Shaw snorted. "I wasn't calling for a steak though I like where your mind is, Reese. I wanted to relay some good fucking news for once! Finch got rid of that waste of skin Dillinger. He chased one too many skirts while on a case which got him the old heave ho!" Shaw announced as animated as he had heard her in a while. She hated Dillinger the moment he looked at her.

"I know."

"You know?—wait…does that mean you're in the city and done living out in the boonies?" she demanded. "Thank god! We can get back to our weekly steak dinners!"

"I'm not back in Manhattan, Shaw." he murmured and that was met with a curse. "I know about Dillinger because he came to my home to attack me."

The silence was deafening and he could almost imagine the murder in her eyes. "He did what?—that's it, I'm killing him!"

John rolled his eyes. "Simmer down Shaw. I can take care of myself. Dillinger is in jail and will be arraigned sometime today I assume." he muttered leaning his hip against the kitchen island. The last thing he needed was Shaw going half-cocked trying to 'avenge' him.

"I will smother him in his sleep." Shaw growled, ignoring him. "No, wait that's too good for him, I'll rip his testicles off and force feed them to him and hope he chokes!"

"Shaw, remember your anger management…"

"Yea, you're right; his balls are the size of dimes so they'll just slide down his sleazy throat. I know, I'll just cut his dick off to give him brain damage since it's clear he thinks with his penis. God, I bet I'll have to get a magnifying glass just to find his dick because it's so small."

"SHAW!" he stated loudly.

"C'mon Reese, a little maiming won't hurt anyone…well, no one except Dillinger," Shaw snapped angrily. She hated that he made her a better person but if he said the word she'd kill Dillinger with no qualms.

John shook his head. "So mentally maim him, Shaw."

"It's not as much fun," she complained.

He smiled gently at the whining tone to her voice. "So is boasting about Dillinger being fired the only reason you called?" he asked.

"No, Grace is practically dancing around the firm about something and it has to do with you. There are two things that would make Grace happy for you; one, if you were coming home which you already told me you weren't, so there goes that. Or…you met a woman." Shaw stated and he closed his eyes. "So you finally got tired of your hand huh?" she snickered.

"Shaw," he warned.

But she didn't heed it. "You're practicing safe sex right or do I have to give you the 'birds and bees' talk?" Shaw asked finding enjoyment in this. This was her revenge for being told no over mutilating Dillinger. "I mean do you even remember how to have sex?—I could draw you a diagram if you need it."

"You do remember I can kick your ass right?" John responded dryly.

Shaw snickered. "You can try but you taught me your moves, Reese."

"Not all of them,"

"WHAT?!" she demanded.

He winced. Now why did he have to admit that? "I taught you everything you needed to know, Shaw."

"I want to be taught _everything_ ," she continued. "That's it! I'm coming up there and you are going to show me…"

"NO!" he interrupted and then grimaced at how that sounded. "Not that I don't want you over, Shaw, you're always welcome but it's just I'm busy."

"Doing what?—brooding?" Shaw asked sarcastically. "I mean what else can you be doing up in the middle of nowhere!"

"I need to call Finch, Shaw, so as nice as it is to hear from you I have to—"

"Wait a fucking minute," Shaw interrupted. "The woman you're banging is there with you right now, isn't she?" she demanded. John exhaled roughly as she began to laugh. "Oh you sure are busy aren't you?—busy getting down in that pussy."

"Shaw, I'm going to hang up on you now," he threatened to drown her out. This was the last thing he wanted to talk about with Shaw. Once she got on the topic of sex it was tough steering her away from it. She loved being immature and crass. "But to answer your question: yes, she's here with me and it's just a fling," he told her. If he didn't tell her something she was just going to show up here and that was the last thing he needed. There was no way in hell he could explain Shaw to Joss.

"You are so fucked Reese!—pun intended."

"Excuse me," he gritted out.

"You're not having a fling Reese. If she's up at your place you're invested."

"I'm not invested," he growled.

Shaw snorted. "Sure you're not. So who is she?" she demanded. "Please tell me she's hot! You need someone hot to jack you off."

"Shaw, you are by far the most annoying person I have had the displeasure of meeting."

"Stop the flattery and tell me the goods!"

"That wasn't a compliment, Shaw."

"You're stalling. Tell me something," Shaw demanded.

"No," he responded dryly.

"Hot or not…."

"Shaw…"

"Tell me something or I'll come up there and find out on my own. Make this easy for yourself, Reese," Shaw replied. She didn't really want to drive out to the sticks but she would if it meant getting some answers.

"Fine, Joss is beautiful."

"Joss eh?—how's the sex? She better be blowing your mind and mini John or I'll have to teach her a thing or two."

"Bye Shaw!" he announced and was met with curses as he hung up on her. His phone buzzed with a text. He rolled his eyes at the immature text. John's brows rose when he received another incoming text. "What the hell is 'humping bumper cars'?" John asked out loud to himself. And then his face heated as he was sent a text with an article of what it was as if Shaw knew he wouldn't know. He groaned as he flung his cell phone aside and decided to call Finch some other time. 

* * *

Two days had come and gone since Dillinger attacked his home; Bear was healing and Joss was still a little sore but she swore she was fine. He had made sure she was fine those two days too; making love to her over and over again, and giving her a full body massage. Harold had called and John had to deliver the bad news about Dillinger over the phone, somehow knowing that his friend would see it as his fault (and he was right), before listening to Finch try to hint around for Grace about Joss. Finch failed at subtlety.

He yawned as he awoke slowly before patting the bed beside and found it empty. John opened his eyes and looked around his bedroom and saw that Joss was nowhere to be had. He climbed to his feet taking a detour to the bathroom then brushed his teeth, and tugged on fresh boxer-briefs.

John exited his bedroom and headed for the stairs but stopped short when he heard movement in the guest bedroom. He watched a fully dressed Joss, makeup less and hair tugged into a high but loose ponytail, packing her suitcase.

"Leaving?" he whispered, trying to not feel a sudden tightening in his chest. He had known this was coming. They spent two more days together since Dillinger's attack, neither bothering to go check her car.

Joss glanced up and nodded. "Yea, it's been days since we got my car out of your ditch and it still hasn't started because it never was going to, was it?" she murmured softly. When he said nothing she looked down to continue folding her clothes. "We were both using it as an excuse to prolong this."

"I guess we were," he agreed.

Joss angrily threw shirt after shirt into the suitcase haphazardly. What did she expect him to say: 'don't go because I'm falling in love with you too, Joss'? There was no telling if John felt that way about her; he wasn't exactly forthcoming with his feelings. She just wasn't cut out for casual relationships because now not only did she have to figure out what to do with the rest of her life; she was going to have to do it while nursing a broken heart. And it wasn't even just John whom she had fallen completely in love with, but also his damned dog too! Bear and John were a one-two punch to her heart and it left her feeling raw and exposed. And the longer she stayed here with him the harder it would be on her to piece her heart back together.

She kept her gaze down, afraid he might see right into her soul if she didn't and focused on collecting her things before she called for a tow truck again. "I'll pay for the tow truck," he murmured. And if there was anything he could have said that would piss her off, it was that.

She lifted her gaze. "I can pay for my own damn tow truck, John," she snapped; if he wanted to be like that than so could she. "You've been a very gracious host to me: you've fed me, let me use your water and electricity free of charge." _And held me like you didn't ever want to let me go and fucked me every which way to the sun_ ; she mentally added, but held it back, though barely.

John flinched. "I'm sorry," he apologized realizing he had upset her by offering to pay for the tow truck.

She looked away. "So am I, I didn't mean to lash out at you but…"

"But I hit a sore spot. I know you're an independent woman," he replied and Joss looked up at him with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Yea…that's it," she agreed softly.

John frowned, feeling like he was missing something and he wasn't quite sure what it was.

After their tense conversation John helped her bring her suitcase down while she called for a tow truck, who told her they'd be there in a half hour and awkwardness ensued. Joss wanted him to say something and he looked unusually unsure of himself. Bear was watching them both and Joss petted the dog, giving him a good scratch behind the ears before kissing him on the top of his head.

"Take good care of John," she whispered, feeling a stupid gathering of tears in her eyes. Bear gave a small whine and whimper as he laid his head down in his doggie bed and watched her with the saddest and most betrayed look ever. "It's not my idea, Bear. Your master never asked me to stay and I need to get home to my son who would love you," she murmured. And when the look continued she huffed. "I know I didn't tell him I want to stay, Bear, but he hasn't given me any indication that he's over his dead wife. Sex is great and sex with John is amazing but I want more. I want all of him not just a part of him, and I'm afraid that a part of him that I want is buried six feet under with Jessica."

She climbed to her feet so Bear couldn't guilt her into staying, glancing at John who entered the room and was pacing back and forth. Uncomfortable silence filled the room and she was almost grateful that the tow truck arrived earlier than he said.

"I'll go open the garage door," John murmured as he refused to look at her.

Joss nodded sadly as she gathered her things up, pulling her coat on and her shoes, before tugging her suitcase out with her into his garage while watching and listening to John and the towing guy talk. It only took ten minutes to get her car towed onto the back of his truck bed and her suitcase loaded into her cab.

She turned to look at John and hugged him. "Goodbye, John," she whispered, for fear he'd hear the wobbliness to her voice.

"Goodbye, Joss," he responded equally somber before pulling back.

Joss didn't look at him as she turned and hurried to climb into the truck or he'd have seen the tears slipping down her cheeks. The tow truck man introduced himself as Dan, who asked if it was okay to play music, and she suspected it was to drown out her tears; she mutely nodded as she stared out the window and cried. 

* * *

John felt like the walls were closing in on him. It was so quiet and Bear was mad at him, if being ignored even when giving commands was any indication, for letting Joss leave. But her life was in Manhattan and his was in the middle of nowhere. He was happy with his isolation. They were a fling. Two adults sexually attracted to one another. That was all it was. He just needed a chance to adjust because Joss had been at his place for almost a week and filled every single ounce of his home with her warmth and cheer. Now his place felt empty and desolate with just him and Bear.

He needed to talk to someone. He couldn't call his friends. Grace and Joan would badger him about Joss. Shaw would insist on talking about sex. Lionel would be annoying with quips and comments he didn't want to deflect. Harold would probably be the only one not to talk about Joss, but that didn't mean Grace wouldn't pop into the conversation taking it there.

So he called the only person he could think of.

"Hello John," Zoe answered on the first ring. "I knew you'd call sooner or later," she purred softly. He closed his eyes waiting for the rush of heat in his groin that her voice used to cause. "John?"

He snapped his eyes open in panic. Nothing was happening, not even a glimmer of arousal. "John?" she repeated. "Are you still there?"

"I am," he assured, strangled.

"You don't sound well."

"I'm fine. Where? Where do you want to meet for sex, Joss?" he asked desperately. Perhaps getting out of his house where he had been cooped up with Joss for the past week would help. Memories of what they did was everywhere in his place which was surely why he couldn't seem to feel a single spark of arousal for Zoe.

She sighed. "Just great," she muttered.

"What?"

"You met someone."

"No. Why would you say that?" he demanded.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because you seem to have forgotten we head to the same motel each and every time for our trysts. Not to mention you just called me Joss."

"I did not."

"You did; you said 'Where do you want to meet for sex, Joss?'" she pointed out.

John shook his head refusing to believe he called her Joss. "Zoe…."

"Oh so you do remember my name," she teased.

"Zoe," he snarled. "I'm not in the mood for this. If I was I could have just called Shaw or Fusco."

"I have never heard you sound like this John, so who is Joss?" she asked with a smile sounding in her voice. "And please don't insult my intelligence by telling me she is no one because I won't believe you."

He remained quiet. She chuckled. "So let me take a wild guess: you called me up because you're struggling with how you feel about this 'Joss' and thought an hour of meaningless sex would cure you of what you're feeling?" Zoe smiled widely as he remained silent. "How did I do?" she asked.

"Zoe…"

"But you realized you can't have sex with me, can you?" she murmured and he made a sound. "John you are not the first man I've slept with that met a woman and ended our trysts. There have been a few men before you and they all tried to hide from the truth, just like you are," Zoe explained patiently. She considered John a friend and she wasn't angry, perhaps a little sexually frustrated because she had thought he finally called for a dalliance, but nothing one of her other lovers wouldn't be able to cure.

"No, that's—"

"John, you've been a truly wonderful lover and a good friend, so I'll give you a piece of advice: go to this woman and tell her how you feel." Zoe instructed, almost seeing John's scowl on his face.

"And how do I feel, Zoe?" he snarled acerbically

Zoe grinned at the challenge. "That's simple: you're in love with her."

* * *

AN: Oh Johnny boy, you are trying to bury how you feel but you just can't seem too. And here is the angst though it's going to last as long as one of Shaw's relationships...you may blink and miss it ;D

Thanks for reading!


	18. Chapter 18

John paced back and forth, having been unable to relax since his conversation with Zoe. He was up all night unable to sleep at all. He had spent hours on the treadmill trying to work off the frustration he was dealing with there. It hadn't worked. And everywhere he moved in his home; Joss was there, as if haunting him.

He glanced at Bear, who was sitting near his food and water bowls, with a sad look on the dog's face. "Don't look at me like that: it was just a fling," he flung towards his furry friend. Bear snorted. "It was," John defended himself to the dog and then closed his eyes as Bear merely sat there with mouth open, tongue out, and stared. "I'm arguing with a dog who doesn't know what I'm saying." he muttered and Bear looked offended at that as he turned and ran off leaving him to resume his aggravated pacing.

Bear came back into the kitchen with something in his mouth. John furrowed his brows until Bear dropped it out of his mouth. He bent to pick up the shirt. It was Joss's; she must have forgotten it when she packed up to leave.

He looked to the dog. "And what's this supposed to prove huh? That she left it on purpose, so I'd what?—call her?" If the dog could roll his eyes John suspected he would have because Bear took the shirt from him and trotted off. John followed and watched as the dog took it in his dog bed and laid his head on it.

He shook his head as the mopey dog stared at him angrily. "Bear, she left to get back to her life," he stated and the dog gave a pathetic whimper.

John turned and entered his kitchen grabbing his cell phone. He called Finch but Grace answered instead. "Hey John, Harold is in the bath—" was all she managed before he interrupted.

"Bear is mopey without her; how do you fix that?" he demanded.

Grace said nothing at first. "John, are you okay?" she asked softly.

"I'm fine. Bear isn't. Joss left and he's mopey without her. How do you stop him from missing her?" he repeated. His place felt emptier than ever before without her in it and it was nearly making him want to climb the walls from the overwhelming silence.

"Perhaps he wouldn't miss her if his master didn't either," Grace murmured.

John clenched his teeth. "I don't miss her, Grace, I'm not in love with her; I just need help for my damn dog," he snapped impatiently before closing his eyes, feeling like an ass at once. "I'm sorry, Grace," he apologized instantly. "I didn't mean to jump at you."

Grace laughed gently. "I took no offense; my brother's just lovesick," she reassured him.

He sighed as he leaned his forearms against his kitchen island and closed his eyes. "Grace, don't…"

She huffed. "John you nearly bit my head off because you miss her and what is making you so upset is that you know you miss her but are trying to pretend you don't. Now tell me: who claimed you are in love with Joss?" she asked, wanting more details. It sounded like someone had pointed it out to him and she wanted to know who, so she could give them a big fat hug. Maybe it was Lionel or Joan; she cornered both at the firm and they had said John was all eyes for this Joss woman.

"Zoe…."

Grace rolled her eyes. Oh, her. She didn't like Zoe Morgan whatsoever; she seemed so fake, definitely not a viable woman for a long term relationship that John desired and deserved. "For once that woman and I actually might agree on something," she muttered aloud, earning her an agitated sound from John. "Why did she tell you that you were in love with Joss?" she asked

"Because I couldn't…we didn't—" he trailed off.

She shook her head as she withheld the laugh. "Because you couldn't have meaningless sex with her anymore, John," she supplied for him.

"Yes," he replied shortly.

"John, you do know that Harold and I have sex, right?" she teased, loving how ridiculously cute John got around the topic of sex in front of her.

"I'm not in love with her," he stated again, ignoring her comment outright.

Grace grinned. "I think you're protesting awfully hard, John. You've been in love before, so are you sure you're not in love with her or is it more that you are scared that you are?"

"I can't be," he whispered.

Grace sat down as she saw Harold approaching her after his shower. He eyed her and she mouthed John. "Oh honey, you can fall in love again; I know it's scary, but pretending what you're feeling isn't love is going to do you more harm than good. You didn't call for help to get Bear to stop moping around without Joss, but for you."

John swallowed hard. "Losing the one you love hurts Grace; I can't go through it again."

"It nearly destroyed you but you're a strong and courageous man, John. You've lost a lot and you love so deeply; you have a lot of love to give still," Grace said firmly before relenting because John needed to figure things out for himself. "Harold's out of the shower now; do you want to talk to him?" she offered. She had a feeling he wouldn't because, if she knew John half as much as she felt she did, then he was going to decline needing time to himself.

"No, I need…"

Grace nodded, reining in her happiness. "To be alone; we understand John. I love you."

"I love you too, Grace, you're the best sister anyone could ever have," he said softly.

Grace felt tears well in her eyes before he bid her a goodbye and hung up. Harold eyed her and she smiled. "I think John's coming home," she murmured warmly.

Harold smiled as he moved to sit beside her and kissed her cheek.

* * *

Joss entered the club _Blur_ wearing a clingy but modest black sleeveless dress. She tied her hair up in a bun, not in the mood at getting dressed up. Really, she wasn't in the mood to go to the club in the first place but she knew that Shaw and Felicia wanted to hear all about her time with John but her heart was still broken. She had been up all night stupidly longing to feel John's arms wrapped around her.

Felicia glanced up and winced. "Don't mind me saying but you look like shit, Carter," she said in her thick New Yorker accent.

Joss didn't even muster up indignation as she slid into the round booth seat next to her. Shaw groaned. "Fuck, you fell in love with him, didn't you?"

"Told you I wasn't cut out for it," she muttered, snatching Shaw's bottle of Grey Goose and glass, poured herself some and slammed it back.

"It's going from bad to worse," Felicia murmured. "Okay, details, so I know if I should tell some officers to go find this guy for any reason they see fit." Felicia wondered if a supposed computer glitch where he got an arrest warrant could be feasible without getting the precinct hit with a lawsuit.

Joss shook her head as she swallowed the hard liquor. "No, no, John's a good guy; he's just not ready for a relationship." she said throatily as her throat burned, before letting Shaw snatch her alcohol back.

A waitress made her way over and Joss just ordered a beer. She wasn't in the mood for a fruity cocktail. She just wanted to go home and do nothing. Taylor had come over in the morning ready to lecture her for fibbing to him but one look at her and he hugged her instead.

Joss looked up and saw both Felicia and Shaw watching her and clearly waiting to hear what happened. She exhaled. "Not much to tell guys; we talked, had sex and I fell in love like an idiot," she grumbled.

"How was the sex?" Shaw demanded and was smacked in the shoulder by Felicia who sat in between them.

"Our friend is nursing a broken heart and that's the question you ask her?" Felicia demanded.

"You're lucky I like you, Moreno, or I'd twist your arm until it popped off." Shaw stated before she guzzled more Grey Goose down.

Joss felt a little better since coming here; if there was anything Shaw was good at it was cheering her up with her brash and abrupt personality. "It was the best sex I ever had. I just wish he could move on from Jessica so I could experience it for the rest of my life."

Shaw froze. Things were starting to get weird. Every time she got more information the more it sounded like her Reese. Carter said he was tall, had blue eyes, and hot which fit Reese to a T. Then he couldn't get over his dead wife named Jessica and was kind of quiet which left her a little uneasy. Reese did more brooding than talking, and Jessica had been Reese's everything. And then there was talking to Reese who said the woman jacking him off was named Joss. It was getting too coincidental to ignore. "Uh, his dead wife's name was Jessica?" she asked casually.

"Yea…."

"Where were you again?" Shaw asked, trying to not sound too interested in the answers. Carter was quick and would realize she was asking for a reason. Reese lived out in the middle of nowhere, on the outer skirts of some town, and she knew it started with an M.

"John's place is the beginning edge of Meredith; I was close to making it to my cabin but I can't say I'm upset with the fact that I didn't. I met an amazing man and his dog."

"Bear's the shit!" Shaw exclaimed immediately, waiting to see if Carter's John was her Reese.

Joss's eyes widened. "How do you know his dog's name?"

"Fuck!—it's Reese!" Shaw snarled, talking about Bear for confirmation, before taking a greedy gulp of her liquor while Carter stared incredulously at her. "Jesus, I talked about Reese's dick with you. I told you to fuck Reese and texted you sex positions to try with him! I think I'm going to get sick," she wailed.

Felicia giggled before holding her arms out. "Somebody better explain what the hell is going on because I'm feeling left out!"

The waitress came back with her beer and placed it in front of her. Joss waited until it was just them again. "Apparently my John is Shaw's Reese." she explained. Felicia shifted eyes onto Shaw who nodded. "I was going to ask you what private security company you worked for after John told me that he and his friend co-founded one together." she admitted with a small laugh at the green look on Shaw's face. "John and I did not use any of your sex positions you texted me since I didn't tell him about them."

"Thank god for small favors," Shaw growled. "Shit. Reese was busy getting down in your pussy! Oh my god, I think I need my brain scrubbed from all the thoughts I was having about your John."

"What kind of thoughts, Shaw?" Joss asked evilly, paying her back for all the texts she sent.

"Shut up!-I don't know what you're talking about." Shaw growled, playing dumb.

Felicia fixed Carter with a look. "Be nice, Joss, Shaw's already looking ready to lose her cookies and she's closest to me." she admonished before bumping Shaw's arm. "Relax, no one can hold you accountable for thinking sexy thoughts about John when you didn't know it was your Reese."

"But I know," Shaw complained. "It's like imagining your parents banging each other!"

"Did you just insinuate that I'm old enough to be your mother?" Joss demanded angrily before shooting her an innocent look. "I never did tell you the size of John's d..."

"Nope, just nope!" Shaw cried as she covered her ears like a five year old.

Joss relented when Felicia shot her a glare and decided to let it go for her sake. Felicia reached up and snagged Shaw's wrist yanking it down. "Carter's done messing around and so are you. Now you never did tell us about your job or really anything about yourself Shaw. So how did you meet John?" she asked.

Joss nodded, very interested in hearing about their friend's past and something else to make her fall even harder in love with John; she already knew about Lionel and Joan so she may as well know what John did for Shaw too.

Shaw shrugged as she said; "I tried to rob Jessica and he kicked my ass after I tried and failed to kick his, then he fed me a steak."

Shaw could remember it like yesterday. She made a smart ass comment about him, he came back with a wise crack himself, and Jessica merely shook her head at them and said: 'welcome to the family'. Shaw hadn't a clue what the hell that meant at the time but now she knew; Reese collected strays, befriended them, and made them a part of his dysfunctional family. Guy clearly had issues if he picked up random strangers and considered them family, but Shaw liked it since feeling anything whatsoever that wasn't anger was hard for her. But she felt at ease and at home with Reese, Finch, and Grace.

She blinked away the reverie and saw Moreno and Carter both staring at her. Shaw half smiled. "He told me I should ice my black eye or I'd look ridiculous," she murmured fondly. "He got me the job at Machine Protective Services and proceeded to teach me how to fight like him and the only thing he wanted in return was for me to learn how to control my anger; so I did."

Felicia whistled as she looked at Joss. "Wow, good luck with getting your heart back from this one; I mean not only does he help complete strangers by practically giving them the shirt off his back but he also protects people. He sounds kind of like you, Joss, and you know what that makes you, right?"

Joss looked at Felicia and shook her head. "What?" she asked.

"Screwed," Felicia supplied ruefully.

Joss exhaled miserably. "Don't I know it; I fall for a great guy and I can't have him," she whispered.

Shaw shook her head. "Tread carefully here Carter as I don't want _any_ details, but, why not?—Reese didn't exactly kick your ass out and trust me when I say: he wouldn't have had any trouble doing so." Maybe if Reese and Carter fell in love then Reese would come back to Manhattan and they could get back to their weekly steak dinners. It would be just like old times except instead of Jessica it would be Joss; who was by far way cooler than Jessica. She didn't hate Jessica; she just found the blond dull and truly not someone she'd ever see Reese with. Now Carter was more his speed: hot, intelligent, and as badass.

"He told me all about Jessica, the children they were planning on adopting together and it all slipped through his fingers in one tragic accident. That's a lot for anyone to grieve and move on from," she murmured. And she had to go and fall in love with a guy who might never move on from his loss.

Shaw blinked in surprise. "That means you guys are practically married! Reese rarely talks about Jessica and he _never_ talks about the fact that they had agreed to adopt."

Felicia shifted her gaze between her friends and then fully at Joss. "I think, over his dead wife or not, you should tell him how you feel, Joss; that's the only way you'll ever know where you stand with him. Maybe if he realizes he has a future it will be easier for him to let go of his past."

"Yea, what Moreno said." Shaw agreed selfishly.

Joss exhaled as she gulped some beer down. "And how am I supposed to do that?—head back up to Meredith and look like a lunatic stalker! I can't exactly say I was in the neighborhood."

"I could give you his cell number." Shaw offered.

"You're suggesting to tell John that I love him over the phone? I don't think so," Joss replied shortly. It was painfully clear that Shaw had no clue about love because she wouldn't have suggested that if she had.

Felicia agreed with Joss; telling this guy how she felt had to be done face to face. "Well, you could call John up for some other reason; lie and say you forgot something and you need to go pick it up."

Joss frowned. "But wouldn't he ask to just ship it to me?" she questioned.

Shaw exhaled roughly. "Stop detectiving this, Carter! Just call him and tell him you forgot something and want to come pick it up this weekend. Don't let him think about it." Shaw instructed. Joss winced. This weekend?—that was a whole three days from now. Shaw noticed the look and her face attempted an appearance of a smile but only managed her trademark smirk. "Unless you can't wait until then to see him…."

"I can manage," Joss said resolutely. She hoped.

Shaw eyed her. "Call him now," she ordered.

"What?" Joss said in surprise. She wanted to wait until she was home without them around so she could talk to him alone.

"C'mon, I'll give you his cell number," Shaw offered as she tugged her cell phone out of her pocket.

Against her better judgment she began tugging her cell out of her purse. "Better give me his home number instead," Joss instructed.

"Why?—I don't even know why Reese keeps a landline; he's such a dinosaur."

"Because I called my son on his home phone and it would be a reason why I have his number," she explained.

"Oh, you're good at this Carter!"

She rolled her eyes as she nervously began typing the number Shaw recited off for her. "I feel stupid," she whispered as she clicked 'call' on the touchscreen before putting the phone to her ear.

Felicia laughed. "And yet you're still doing it, which means you're so into him."

"I hate you two," Joss muttered under her breath as his phone rang a couple times before a sexy and low male 'hello' wrapped around her. God, did have a nice voice. "Hello John, this is Joss," she said.

John nearly dropped the phone in surprise. Joss was calling him? He heard loud music in the background and another female voice that sounded sort of like Shaw. But his ears must be playing tricks with him.

"Hello, Joss," he responded finally finding his voice. He wanted to say so much more than that but he wasn't prepared. His heart skipped a beat and his pulse raced at just the sound of her voice. Grace and Zoe were right; he was in love with Joss. He had told himself when they were together that he wasn't going to let himself fall in love with Joss but it seemed he fell anyway.

Joss sighed, feeling really dumb now. "How are you?" she asked softly.

"Good," he lied, feeling uneven as the realization that he was hopelessly in love with this woman blindsided him. "And you?" he asked feeling awkward because now that he realized it he needed to figure out what the hell to do about it.

"Good," she responded and looked at Shaw who was motioning at her.

John frowned when he heard conversation and what sounded like Joss saying 'stop it'. "Joss?—are you still there?"

Joss glared at Shaw and mouthed to shut it before putting the phone back to her ear. "Uh, sorry John, bad connection; I called you because I forgot something at your place."

John struggled with himself as he realized she called just because she forgot something rather than because she missed him too. He forced a smile. "Oh," he sounded.

"Yea I forgot uh…uh…my, uh…" she trailed off when she was drawing a blank; looking to Shaw and Felicia for help.

"Your porn collection," Shaw supplied. Joss scowled. "What?—get Reese thinking about sex with you!"

Felicia shook her head. "She needs something that she can't live without Shaw!"

Shaw snapped her fingers. "Her vibrator…."

Felicia rolled her eyes. "I meant perhaps she should say she forgot her prescription meds."

Shaw snorted. "Then Reese is going to think she's a whackjob off her meds! We're trying to help her bang Reese for life, not have him get a restraining order because he thinks she's cuckoo for cocoa puffs."

"I meant birth control, not because she lost her mind!"

Joss put a hand over the mouthpiece. "Being friends with you two makes me think I did lose my sanity." she snarled before letting it go and pasted on a smile as she refocused on her conversation with John. God she was just hoping he didn't think she was a nutcase. "I'm sorry John I forgot my…"

"Your shirt," he murmured dejectedly as he re-entered his living room and sat down. Bear was lying on it as they spoke. He was mad at Joss for being so easy to love. This wasn't something he wanted or needed.

"Huh?"

John furrowed his brows. It almost sounded like she didn't know she forgot her shirt. "Your shirt Joss, Bear found it in the room you were staying in."

"Oh, yes, yes, my shirt is the thing that I forgot at your place," she agreed latching onto it. "The blue one," she didn't remember seeing it when she unpacked.

"It's red…."

Joss thought fast. "It is, but my son gave it to me when I was feeling blue over the loss of my career and it's got sentimental meaning to me," she explained her blunder. "So I'd really like to come by and pick it up," she said hurriedly, hoping he bought that.

John paused. He had figured she would just give him her address to ship it to her. Maybe she did want to see him again. "Sure," he agreed quietly, nearly groaning out loud at how excited he was to see her again.

"How about Saturday?" she suggested.

Saturday?—that was three days from now. He wanted her to come by now. "Saturday that sounds fine," he said instead.

"Okay, see you then," she murmured.

John was reluctant to end the call. "Alright, bye, Joss…."

"Bye John," she replied softly. He was going to need to do something as his body reacted to her sexy voice, recalling how soft her voice got when she was falling asleep or when he was waking her up in the most splendid way.

Silence hung as neither hung up. "You're still there," he murmured.

She huffed. "So are you," she pointed out, feeling foolishly pleased that he hadn't hung up either.

"I was going to let you end the call; ladies first," he explained, truly hoping she'd buy that lame excuse. Judging from the snort he received he wasn't so sure she did.

"Bye John," she repeated.

"Bye Joss, see you Saturday."

Once they finally hung up she looked up and saw Shaw's smirk. "You're a smooth operator, Carter, but I didn't even hear Reese to know you're better than him. You two deserve each other."

Joss rolled her eyes. "Cut me some slack, Shaw; he's the first guy since Paul."

Felicia grinned. "And the last guy too."

Joss returned the grin. "Saturday can't get here quick enough."

* * *

Drinks had done a great job of cheering her up because of Shaw, or rather because Shaw knew John. The phone call between her and John had been a little awkward because it felt like he had wanted to say something else and she waited to see if he would but he didn't. And the 'lie' about forgetting something wasn't really a lie because she apparently left one of her shirts and she nearly blew her own lie when she nearly failed to realize what he was talking about.

Joss just sat down on her couch to turn on the TV to relax a little and try to not think about John or her impending 'date' with John when her doorbell rang. She frowned wondering who the hell would be coming by her place at nine at night.

She crossed her living room and entered the foyer to answer the door. She wasn't sure who it could be but tugged the door open tentatively and came face to face with a pretty red haired woman.

Joss immediately relaxed. "May I help you?"

"Hello, are you Joss Carter?" the woman asked.

"Yes I am,"

The woman smiled widely. "You're as beautiful as I was picturing," the red head admitted as she gave her an onceover.

Joss furrowed her brows. "Excuse me?"

The red head held out a hand to shake. "I'm Grace Hendricks-Finch and my brother is in love with you," she said simply.

* * *

AN: Those adorable awkward ducks are our baes. They love each other and separately have realized it. Now they just got some 'splanin to do to each other :)

Thanks for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

Joss stood staring at the woman that John considered to be a sister and the woman's smile didn't fade as Joss took her hand in hers. "I know that this is a surprise but my husband is very good at finding people," Grace explained as they both let go of each other's hands.

Joss stepped back to let the woman in and wished she had more chance to prepare. "Come in," she instructed gently still a little flustered. Grace nodded and entered her brownstone.

She looked around. "This is very nice," she murmured with a pleasant voice sounding sincere.

Joss nearly laughed. John had told her a little bit about these people and she knew that Harold was a billionaire and her place probably was this woman's living room. "Its cozy," she agreed as they moved into her living room and Joss motioned for her to sit on the couch. "Can I get you anything?"

Grace shook her head as she loosened her scarf as she sat down on the well-used couch; she was thinking about getting a new one since her son and his friends had run it through the wringer for years. "No, but thank you though, I won't stay long, a couple minutes at most, since its late and I apologize for that, but I just had to come by and see who you were."

Joss sat down next to Grace, wanting to ask if she meant what she said that John was in love with her because her heart nearly leapt out of her chest. And it would make this Saturday's meeting even easier knowing that he felt the same.

While Joss gave her a look over Grace did the same and she knew why John was in love. Grace was a people watcher but being an artist lent to that. She loved catching the right light and being watchful of her surroundings including people. Joss was beautiful and had warm brown eyes though sharp with intelligence. She just couldn't wait to get to know her better; Grace had a feeling they would be fast friends and have some interesting conversations.

"Did John ever tell you about me?" Grace asked.

Joss nodded. "He told me that you guys met in Italy when you were just a junior in college and he was in the Army," she murmured, having a clear mental picture of what John looked like then; she bet John aged like fine wine. She shook herself from those thoughts as she added; "And that he put a stop to some guy harassing you."

"I knew then that John was an amazing guy. My friends were unsure of why John and I weren't dating," Grace said with a laugh. All her friends from school thought she was crazy. And while John was an extremely gorgeous man; she just didn't have those feelings for him any more than he had them for her.

Joss smiled. "Because you two loved each other in a different way," she murmured.

Grace nodded in agreement. "He made me feel safe and he's the best big brother a girl could ever ask for and I love him very much."

"From what I know, he feels the same about you and your husband," Joss admitted.

"Oh, John and Harold are like brothers themselves and my husband has been at his wit's end on trying to lure John back home. But the stubborn mule claimed he was happy in the middle of nowhere, alone; until you came along and blew up his perfectly ordered world apart which I can't thank you enough for," Grace said with a bubbly laugh.

Joss liked this woman. She was kind, sweet, and intelligent. But she had to ask, she had to know if the woman meant what she said. "Why do you believe John's in love with me?" she asked softly. Maybe it was this woman's wishful thinking that he was in love with her so that maybe he'd come back to live closer to her and her husband.

"Easy, he practically admitted it."

"Practically, so he didn't outright say that he loves me," Joss replied, as she figured, John hadn't actually told this woman that he loved her.

Grace smiled. "My husband said that you were a former detective and you sound like one."

"Your husband would be correct. Grace, just because you want John to fall in love doesn't mean he really is in love with me," Joss said with a sigh.

"I know that but I've known John since I was just twenty years old; he was my maid of honor," she said with a twinkle in her eye and Joss just knew she spilled that secret on purpose. "I've seen him at his best and at his absolute worst," Grace said as her eyes grew moist recalling that worst and it was something she never wanted to witness ever again. "So when he calls me up trying to convince me that Bear is the only mopey one without you and practically yells at me that he's not in love with you even though I never said he was, that tells me enough of the story," she said with a watery laugh.

Joss felt hope surge inside her. Okay so that sounded promising. "I see your point," she muttered.

And for several moments both grew quiet, thinking, before Grace broke the silence, "I'll be letting you. We can talk and get to know each other when it's not so late," she said as she climbed to her feet.

Joss got to her feet too. "You never once asked if I was in love with John," she pointed out and wanted to know why.

Grace waved her off as she moved for her foyer redoing her scarf around her neck. "Oh, I didn't have too; I already know you are," she explained cheerfully.

Joss narrowed her eyes as she followed the woman into the foyer. "What, are you a detective now too?" she asked, wondering if she was that transparent.

Grace turned to face her directly with a sweet smile in place. "The look on your face when I said that John is in love with you said it all," she replied simply. "Anyway, I mean it, I'll leave you be as my husband is going to be very interested in hearing all about you. Harold wants to offer you a job with Machine Protective Services. We could always use someone with so much talent, intelligence, and kindness at the firm."

"Oh," Joss sounded in surprise. She never thought about doing something such as that. "I'm not sure; got a bad knee," she admitted motioning at her joint.

"I'm sure you and my husband could come to terms with something satisfactory for the both of you. You're family now," Grace assured her with a warm touch to her arm before turning to grab the doorknob.

"Grace, you're getting ahead of things."

She paused and turned to look over her shoulder. "I just know John," Grace responded softly. "I look forward to getting to know you better, Joss," and with that she exited and left. Joss couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face. For a day that started with tears and pain it sure was ending brightly.

"Come on three days, please go by fast!" she whispered to herself.

* * *

John ran on the treadmill trying to burn off excess nervous energy. After three long torturous days Joss was finally coming over to pick up her shirt. During those three days of waiting; he spent them thinking about her, about how he felt, and why did he have to fall in love again. It wasn't something he wanted and yet it was true; he loved Joss. He missed making love to her, talking to her, missed holding her while he slept, and most of all: he missed her.

He tried and failed to come up with what to say to her when they came face to face this afternoon. 'Oh here is your shirt Joss, by the way; I love you and I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you' just didn't work for him. Just because he fell in love with Joss didn't mean she felt the same way and blurting out how he felt could put her in a tough spot. He scowled as he climbed off the treadmill; sweating and no less nervous. His stomach quivered in knots and he just knew he was going to get tongue tied when she was here.

John took a quick shower before changing into jeans and a fitted white thermal long sleeve shirt, leaving the top two buttons undone. He didn't bother drying or combing his hair but did splash on his preferred cologne before turning and absconding off for the stairs.

Bear sat at the landing waiting for him; tail wagging a little. Apparently he was slowly getting back on Bear's good side. He ruffled the dog's fur before motioning for Bear to follow him into the kitchen. They got on with their morning routine both eating their respective breakfasts before John let Bear outside.

He opened the sliding door and let Bear leap back into the warm house after several minutes and the dog did a small shake to rid himself of the snow that clung to his legs. "Do you know what day it is today Bear?" he asked the dog as he locked the sliding door before grabbing his cell phone off the charger and headed for the living room to sit, idling waiting for Joss, and watch some TV.

Bear made a sound and he smirked as he sat down on the couch rubbing a hand on the dog's head, petting him gently. "Joss is coming," he assured and Bear barked happily and his tail wagged.

John watched as the dog ditched him and rushed to the door and stood staring at it. "She's not here yet, Bear," he called out.

But Bear didn't listen instead just stood staring at the front door.

John shook his head on a sigh before his cell phone rang and he reached forward and swiped it off the coffee-table and smiled when he saw it was Harold. "Hey Harold," he answered after he sat back.

"Good morning John…"

"Tell Grace Joss is not here yet," he murmured lowly. These last three days couldn't go quick enough or he was going to have to stop answering Grace's calls. It was clear Grace was excited by this. She prodded and pushed until he finally admitted that he loved Joss. He could almost picture her dancing around her art studio in their home.

Harold laughed softly. "I'll be sure to mention it to my wife but Grace is not the reason why I called, John," he admitted still with a smile in his voice.

"Oh," John sounded. "Alright, Harold, what's on your mind?"

Harold hesitated. In the last five years he hadn't asked John to come back; he gave veiled hints. But now that Dillinger was arrested, which he was still upset that he had gone after Mr. Reese because of him, and John told Grace how he felt about this Joss woman; he wanted to see if perhaps John was ready to come back to Machine Protective Services.

John cocked a brow up at the notable silence on the other end. "Finch?" he prodded.

"Come back to work with Machine Protective Services." he blurted out without any preamble and winced at how it sounded. Now that he said it, he needed to finesse it. "I could use your help, John. With your skills from the Army; you're a natural leader. And you care deeply about the people we protect; just as I do."

"Harold…"

"Just let me finish explaining why it's beneficial to the both of us, John. My wife misses you and so do I; and you miss us as well. And then there is Miss Shaw, Mr. Fusco, Ms. Joan, and not to mention our long time clients have asked repeatedly about you who hope that you are considering coming back. No one can teach the empathy that you show. I know you lost your wife and lost your way, John, but maybe now, after all this time, it is time to come home," Harold said, impassioned.

John sat quietly as Harold spoke. He leaned his head against the couch. This wasn't what he needed. He still didn't know what was going to happen with Joss and now Finch was chipping away at his resolve to stay away. In the last five years Finch hadn't once asked him to return. He gave less than subtle hints which he easily deflected or ignored; not once did he outright ask him but now he was, and he wasn't prepared for it.

"John?"

"I'm still here Harold, you just threw me a curveball," he admitted with annoyance as he climbed to his feet and exhaled when he saw that Bear had grown tired of standing and staring at the door, instead he laid with his nose pressed to the door.

He shook his head as he stormed to his kitchen. "Finch, I don't know what to say."

"It's a very simple answer, John: yes, you'll come back to work with me at Machine Protective Services or no you won't," he replied softly. "But if you weren't tempted; you would have already told me no."

John scowled as he tugged open the fridge door to grab a bottled water. "Why now, Harold?—why are you asking me to come back now?" he demanded to buy himself some time. "Grace told you that I love Joss, didn't she?"

"Yes she told me," Finch conceded. "And yes, my asking was due in part to that information."

"Why?" he asked again.

John heard his friend sigh. "The only reason you raced up to where you are living now is because of Jessica and your inability to let her go. I don't know what it's like to lose the woman you love, so don't believe I'm judging you, John. You are a very dear friend and you mean a lot to me and Grace. We were afraid you were going to hold onto Jessica forever to remain alone, but now that fate brought you Joss, I think you're ready to come home," Finch explained, hopefully without making John angry.

John closed his eyes. Everything Finch said was true. He had run here to get away from the memories of Jessica; everywhere he looked there she was. And the possibility of letting her go scared the hell out of him. Twenty years was a long time; just a couple years ago he had finally managed to remove the wedding band. But go back to Manhattan; start a new life, working with Finch again, begin a new relationship…was he ready?

"Yes," he spoke aloud.

"Yes, what John?"

John blinked, realizing he spoke aloud his answer to his internal question. And he smiled. "Yes, I'm ready to come home."

"Really?!" Finch said excitedly and John nearly laughed as Finch cleared his throat. "I'll go get Grace."

John heard a knock at the door and Bear barked happily. "Uh, can I call you back Finch?—I think Joss is here," he murmured.

"Of course, I look forward to meeting her," he answered and before John could say another word he hung up. John sighed as nerves erupted again, but he set his phone down on the kitchen counter before heading for the door and had to command Bear aside so he could open it.

He tugged it open and stared at Joss as his heart raced. "Hi," he whispered.

She smiled. "Hi, John," she replied warmly.

* * *

AN: There are only a handful of chapters left.

Thanks for reading!


	20. Chapter 20

Joss was nervous the entire drive up and even the entire time she walked up to his front porch. But the moment he opened the door it took everything in her not to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him. She didn't have that right…yet.

She managed to tug her gaze off John and took notice of the adorable dog waiting to be greeted too. "Hi Bear," she murmured as she bent to pet him. She missed John but she also missed Bear too.

Bear's tail wagged wildly, causing his body to shake as he soaked up the attention.

"Come on Bear, let's let her in," John mumbled and the dog immediately popped back to allow her in. Joss smiled as she entered and John took her coat for her, and she giggled as Bear barked and hopped on his paws by her feet. "He's excited to see you," John murmured softly.

Joss nearly asked if he was as excited to see her too. "Well I'm happy to see him too," she assured him.

John awkwardly stood beside her at his foyer. "It's a bit cold outside, you can warm up by the fire," he offered and moved ahead.

Joss lifted her gaze from Bear to John feeling a sense of déjà vu. Her eyes found John's butt on purpose. Well, don't mind if I do, she thought with a smirk.

She rubbed Bear's head one last time. "Wish me luck; I'm gonna try to get me some of your hot master," she whispered. Bear barked and bumped her leg as if trying to give his version of good luck. "Okay, now I know you are the most intelligent dog I have ever seen," she muttered before straightening and entering his living room.

John was bent by the fireplace adding another log. Her eyes searched out his Christmas tree that had took up one corner of the gigantic room, and was sad to see he had taken it down. "See you took down your beautiful tree."

He looked up. "Yea," he conceded. It had been something to do while he waited for three days to go by, besides trash day had been yesterday. Lionel had tried to invite himself over to do it when he had called Thursday. John could easily tell Lionel was trying to dig for info on Joss and John was in a lousy mood from sexual frustration and lack of sleep, so he hadn't helped Lionel out at all. "It was time," he added before motioning to sit on the couch.

Joss moved over the sectional and sat down watching John. He looked nervous about something. "So…" she began to only be interrupted.

"Let me go get your shirt," he mumbled as he avoided her gaze as he turned to head out of the room. "I actually had to wash it because Bear slept on it for the last few days."

Joss leaned over and snagged his hand as he was moving past. "Hold that thought, John," she requested softly.

He stopped and looked down at her. She was so beautiful; her hair was down, curled lightly at the ends, and with light makeup on. He tried to avoid her beautiful face that was upturned to look up at him, so his eyes shifted to what she was wearing; she was wearing a short sleeve sapphire colored off-shoulder clingy shirt with black leggings encased in stiletto knee high boots.

"You look beautiful, Joss," he whispered before deciding to stare at the couch because that wasn't sexy in the least.

Joss smiled, now realizing why he seemed so preoccupied. "Thank you, come sit; I want to talk. We can get my shirt later," she murmured. Much later, like a few days from now, because she didn't want to tell him yet that she had packed a bag and left it in her car, hoping he'd ask her to stay a couple days, until they could figure out things.

He nodded as he rounded the sectional after she reluctantly let him go. John sat down beside her and Joss noticed that Bear was finally entering as if he had been trying to give them privacy and just grew fed up with them humans. He laid down in his doggie but kept his head up and stared at her. Joss looked at John and nearly asked why he was sitting so far from her. She shimmied closer.

"So you bought Shaw a steak?" Joss asked, not saying what she wanted to, not yet. She wanted to ease him into this conversation.

John looked at her in surprise. "How do you know Shaw?" he asked.

She smiled. "I met her at a club a couple years ago; I think she was hitting on me and my friend until she realized we were thoroughly straight," she admitted with a small laugh. "We shared drinks and became fast friends or as fast of friends as you can get with Shaw."

"Shaw is an acquired taste," he agreed with a sigh, but Joss noted the small smile tilting his lips up.

"It was actually a funny way of learning that you two knew each other; we were having drinks just the other day and she asked about my mini vacation. I told her a little about you and she put two and two together," Joss said, leaving off some of the particulars she was sure he wouldn't want to know.

He shook his head. "Now that text Shaw sent me a couple days ago makes more sense…"

"What text?" she demanded. So help her if Shaw told him that she loved him before she got here, she was going to shoot Shaw herself.

"I may have a weakness for Hershey Kisses and Shaw sent me a random text of a picture of a Hershey Kiss with Caramel that at the time made little sense," he retorted.

Joss groaned. "She talks about others being lame," she complained.

"I know…."

"She told me how you helped her," Joss murmured, deciding to kill her friend later. She saw that John had relaxed a little and didn't seem so nervous. Joss wondered if he was a little nervous because she was here and they hadn't talked about how they left things.

He shrugged. "She just needed someone, that's all."

"And you were there for Grace, for Lionel and for Joan too because they just needed someone?" she asked casually, inching closer to him.

He lifted his gaze and nodded.

"Hell even Bear too because, had you not taken him in then the woman would have given him to the pound," she murmured, remembering what he told her about how he got Bear in the first place.

"Everyone needs someone," he agreed.

Joss stared at him. "What about you?" she asked.

"What about me?"

"Everyone needs someone…does that include you?" she questioned. His gaze shifted off her and looked to the fire. Joss didn't even want to offer that retreat. She reached up and laid a hand on his cheek to gently pull his gaze back. "Do you need someone, John?"

They both quietly searched the other's eyes. "I thought I didn't. Up to a point I knew that I didn't; I lost the woman that I loved and Jessica had been the only one I ever wanted."

"But…"

"You changed my mind." he admitted gruffly as he reached up to take her hand that she had cupped to his cheek still, to lower it and rub his thumb over her palm. He looked down at the hand he held. "And I'm not quite sure what to do about it."

"I know what I want to do about it," she murmured, feeling her heart nearly beat out of her chest. John looked back up. "And I know that if I want it; I have to be the one that says it first," she admitted as she leaned forward, giving him every opportunity to stop her but he didn't. She let her breath fan across his lips as her eyes stared into his as their lips almost met. "Full disclosure; I'm in love with you John," she whispered before she kissed him.

John leaned into her as he kissed her back readily and it was like they were both gloriously coming home to something that was missing from their lives. She sighed as that was a good sign that he was kissing her back even after she told him she loved him. Maybe what Grace said was right. Bear barked in happiness; he had them splitting apart before the kiss could deepen when he shoved his snoot into their laps. Joss forced her gaze off John to look down at Bear.

"I think he thinks because we kissed that you're staying." he murmured.

She looked at the dog before rubbing behind his ears. "Don't get too excited Bear; just because I love your master doesn't mean what you want it to mean," she admonished. Bear gave a pathetic whimper as his gaze shifted onto John forlornly. So did hers.

John reached out to curl some of her hair back. "Joss, you weren't something I was looking for," he admitted.

"Well you weren't something I was looking for either, John. I was heading up for a quiet weekend in a cabin to do a little soul-searching, to do a little healing, and figure out the rest of my life. I didn't expect to meet and fall in love with you," Joss said. She was quite confident that she could not dream him up in a million years.

"I've missed you," he murmured. She smiled at that. "These last three days were way too long."

"Tell me about it," she grumbled. That was the last damn time she was going to let Shaw goad her into doing something!

"I didn't want to like you at first because I felt different around you and it scared me," he confessed gruffly. "I tried to ignore the attraction to you. I tried to figure out why I was attracted to you so fully and immediately. But the more I tried to do both the more I found myself liking being around you."

She rubbed a hand over his comfortingly. "John, you had every right to be scared. Jessica was everything to you."

He shook his head. "I always had trouble with my feelings. I left out a big part of the story about Jessica and I; we broke up."

"What?" Joss exclaimed. She hadn't figured that.

"We were at her mother's and her mother hinted that Jessica's happiness was dependent on me. I never had someone dependent on me for their happiness before and…"

"It scared you," she said softly.

He nodded. "I was stupid and broke things off with her because I didn't think I could be what Jessica needed me to be."

"Oh, John, all she needed was you," she muttered. Joss half wondered if Jessica's mother said that on purpose to freak John out.

John sighed. "That's exactly what Jessica said and about a year later we were married," he said with a small smile. "And when she died I realized Jessica's mother had it wrong because it was my happiness that was dependent on Jessica."

Joss tried to not feel her insides clench. How was he ever going to move on from his dead wife if he felt like that? "Do you still feel like that?" she asked gently.

"Feel like what?"

"Like your happiness is dependent on Jessica," she supplied. She needed to know where she stood, where he stood, so she knew what she needed to do so she could be happy.

John stared into her eyes. "For five long years after her death…yes. I stopped living my life and just existed. But then you knocked on my door and I think I started to live again."

"Oh, John…" she sighed. He might not be talkative or even know what words to say, but this meant so much to her. "Does that mean you are finally ready to move on from Jessica?"

"You weren't something I was looking for but I'm glad you found me," he whispered as she leaned in close. "I have loved Jessica for twenty years and she'll always be a part of me but she's not the first person I think of when I wake up now. You are. I want Joss Carter; that mother, warrior, and survivor. She did something to me when she spun out in front of my place," he murmured softly as he stared into her eyes. "Full disclosure; I love you too," he said softly before kissing her tenderly on the lips.

She grabbed his cheeks and kissed him back warmly before sitting back to grin at the anxious dog who was sitting watching them. She grinned at the dog. "Now it's time to get excited, Bear," she said and Bear barked happily as he stood up and hopped to his hind legs to rest the front ones on the couch, and licked her in the face.

She giggled as she rubbed his cute little face. "I love you too," she assured the happy dog.

John rubbed the dog's ears. "Come on Bear; you're making me look bad here," he joked. Bear happily whined as he took a step back and trotted off for his doggie bed. He seemed content now and was ready to snooze away.

Joss eyed John. "Oh I think you did okay, John," she assured him, wanting to have at him right this second, knowing talking about Jessica was rough, and now knowing he had trouble with talking about feelings in general made him opening up to her about how he felt was even more special, but Bear was watching. She needed to pace herself; they still had a lot to figure out. "So…where do go from here?" she asked seriously.

"Harold called just before you arrived and he asked me to come back to Machine Protective Services," he admitted.

Joss's eyes widened. "What did you say?"

"I told him the truth: I'm ready to go home. I came up here to get away from all the memories that Manhattan held of me and Jessica, but it's time. I want to make new memories…with you," he replied gently.

Joss held his hand tightly. "I want that too. My son wants to meet you," she announced to him.

John smiled shyly. "I look forward to meeting your son."

She leaned back but kept holding his hand as she looked around his beautiful living room. "What about this place? Are you planning on selling it?" she wondered. It would be such a shame. It was a gorgeous home, although the outside needed some work. She snickered as she recalled her first impression of it as she was freezing to death.

"I'm planning on keeping it for us to head up here to get away on weekends."

She grinned. "I like that. This place holds some special memories. It's where I met this amazing guy who reminded me of a gorgeous hermit and his cute dog," she teased.

"Well this is the place where I met an amazing woman who reminded me of a gorgeous klutz," he teased back.

"Okay, you try climbing out of car that's in a ditch with a raging blizzard barreling down on you and try to concentrate on slicing an onion while thinking of tearing clothes off a sexy host and not find yourself with a bum ankle or a lobbed off finger!" she said in faux indignation.

He tugged her onto his lap. "Oh, you were thinking about ripping my clothes off huh?" he purred as he fingered the neckline of her shirt. "I'm having that same thought right about now."

"Yea, it kind of scandalized me since we had just met and I was so attracted to you. I hadn't thought about sex or men in general since my marriage went to the crapper," she confessed.

John ran a soft finger up her neck to cup her chin. "Well if we are sharing confessions; while I was cleansing that wound you had I thought about kissing you. You're the first woman I wanted to kiss since Jessica died and it threw me for a loop."

"I have one more," she acknowledged. John looked into her eyes interested. "I didn't come here for the shirt. I actually was going to come up with some random thing I forgot just so I had an excuse to come here."

"When you asked to come get it, I was about to offer to ship it back but didn't because I wanted to see you," he said before leaning forward and pressing soft kisses to her jawline.

She groaned as she rubbed her hands over his shoulders. "Ask me to stay, John," she whispered as her body responded and she desperately needed him inside her. These last few days had been hell.

"Stay Joss," he readily responded.

"Good, I have a bag packed that I left in my trunk just in case," she replied before kissing him deeply.

He stood up with her in his arms and she simply wrapped her legs around his waist as he pulled back. "We'll get the bag later, like tomorrow. You won't be in need of clothes any time soon," he whispered seductively as he carried her to the stairs.

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AN: There are two chapters left; the smut one, and the epilogue ;D Maybe I'll post the smut one on my birthday :)

Thanks for reading!


	21. Chapter 21

_**AN: Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes I appreciate it! I love celebrating so here is a gift to you readers who always make me smile XOXOX  
**_

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John set her down on his bed gently. "So tell me about being a maid of honor?" Joss requested with a straight face as she sat on his bed and rested her hands on his hips.

John looked into her eyes instantly in surprise. "When did you talk to Grace?" he asked instead of answering her.

She smiled. "I'll tell you mine when you tell me yours," she replied coyly.

He exhaled. "Not much to tell; she asked me to be her maid of honor and so I was," he responded as he unzipped her knee-high boots to remove them.

Joss snorted. "Oh come on; there has to be more than just that! What about throwing her a bridal shower or more importantly: her bachelorette party?!" she demanded as he flung one boot off to the side as he moved onto the next one.

"I threw her a party; although her friends thought I was a part of the entertainment rather than her maid of honor," he said with an exaggerated sigh as he removed her socks next. Lucky for her she only had a few articles of clothes to remove as he was barefoot.

"I can imagine," Joss murmured as she eyed John. "I wouldn't mind having you strip down to nothing for me," she purred as she slid her feet around his knees and let her fingers skate across the waistband of his jeans.

He smiled. "Well, for a party of one I'm willing to make an exception," he purred as he removed his shirt.

Joss leaned forward and licked a circle around his naval and caught some skin between her teeth loving the sharp groan he let out. She let her playful nibbles move south and caught his jeans between her teeth now.

"You're so damn hot," he moaned as he let her tease him a bit.

She chuckled as she leaned her head back and let the fabric slide from her teeth. "The same can be said about you, John," she reassured him as she ran a gentle hand over the solid bulge growing in his pants. She leaned back onto her forearms and stared up at him. "But I want the rest of my show."

"First: when did you and Grace talk?" he asked.

Joss pouted. "She came over because she wanted to meet me. Apparently you were being evasive about me."

He groaned. "I'm going to throttle her."

"Don't. I like her. And she loves and cares about you," she chided. "Now no more talk and take your damn pants off!"

He smirked as he reached down to undo his jeans but just the button and proceeded to very slowly and carefully lower the zipper, for one; to torture her with the pace, but also because he didn't want to injure himself.

"Go any slower with that zipper and its going to get you off before I do," she murmured impatiently.

"Jealous of the zipper, Joss?" he teased.

"Yes. It's touching you more than I am at the moment," she complained.

He smiled wickedly. "Maybe I need your help since you're the reason I'm having trouble with pulling it down."

She sat up and immediately grabbed the metal tab. "Happy to oblige," she responded with a crooked grin. She carefully undid his zipper and barely resisted touching the rigid thing pressing hard against the back of her fingers. "In fact, how about instead of you stripping for me, I strip you down myself?" she suggested anxiously as she got to her feet and went up on her tip toes to kiss him while she pushed on his jeans until they slid down his long legs. She pushed him onto the bed and he half sat half laid as she tugged the jeans fully off his legs and stared at his boxer-briefs. "Those are next."

He laughed. "My underwear is all that's left."

That was exactly the point. She grabbed the waistband of his underwear and tugged down and he was gloriously naked for her. His cock was standing at attention for her.

She toyed with his underwear in her fingers as she finally lifted her gaze to his darkened eyes. "If I'm not to wear any clothes; neither are you," she proclaimed as she dangled his underwear teasingly over his tip. He gasped at the feather-light touch. She took note of the reaction and flung the underwear over her shoulder. "You liked that huh?"

"Joss…" he moaned as he sat up.

She kissed him silent and let him pull her on top of him as he lied back on the bed. He urged her shirt up, breaking the kiss shortly to draw it off. He cupped her breasts with his hands while she busied herself with unclasping her bra so it could be removed. John latched a hungry mouth on her breast the moment the bra was removed. Joss moaned as she wrapped her arms around his neck and enjoyed the sensations he was creating with his tongue and teeth and his roaming hands slid under her leggings and matching lace black panties. He cupped her butt in his hands and drew her hard against him, making them both groan in response. John finally released her thoroughly ravished breast to move onto the other one to ravish it with the same loving.

She pushed free after a few minutes to finally remove her pants and panties quickly. He smiled as his eyes stared between her legs. She kept a hold of her panties and climbed on top of him as his legs dangled off the side of the bed, and straddled his hips and felt his rigid dick against her ass.

His breath hitched. "You're so wet," he moaned as he slid a finger between her spread legs. Joss shivered as his fingers caressed her.

"I am. My panties are drenched," she agreed as she held her practically non-existent panties over his face, rubbing them over his lips.

He groaned as he caught them between his teeth, loving the taste of her that clung to them. She wasn't kidding about her panties being drenched.

Joss smiled wickedly as she felt his cock twitch in response and then he moaned in protest as she tugged her panties free of his teeth. She moved them to his nipples and his back arched a little. She removed his fingers from between her legs and moved after asking him to lie back onto his pillows. Once he did as she asked, she sat between his legs so she could let her lacy panties tease his skin with the light touch. She was enthralled with how he reacted as his body grew restless on the mattress, as he moved to the touch.

"Damn John, I thought you had to have a spot that sent you into a frenzy but this is even better; your entire body reacts to the softest touch." she whispered throatily. "I can't tell you how wet I get with trying to figure out the spot that would get you to moan and react this way," she added, letting her panties whisper against his naval that had him moan at the touch.

"Joss…" he managed. His cock was throbbing and he most definitely needed to be inside her now. She eyed him as she drew the lacy panties down and around his aching dick. He shuddered as he felt the wetness to them. "Joss," he whispered again.

She grinned as she rested the fragile panties over his rock hard cock. The sheer black panties barely covered his straining penis. It put in perspective just how big John's dick was. She smiled as she leaned over his cock and looked up at him. John was so sexy; body tense with desire and eyes shining with love. Love for her. She moaned as she lowered her gaze back to his groin, wrapping a hand around his cock pulling her panties tight across his tip and took a bit of him into her mouth with her panties covering him and sucked.

He cursed as he felt surrounded by her wetness from her pussy that coated the panties and by her mouth. He shuddered as he could feel her tongue against him and the pressure of her suction even through the panties.

"Stop Joss," he rasped as he tugged gently in her hair. "I want to be inside you," he commanded hoarsely.

She lifted her mouth and helped his throbbing dick slid through the open hole for her leg and moved up. She grinned as John hissed as the lace brushed his sensitive balls. She positioned him at her slick entrance and took him inside her on one smooth thrust down.

He grabbed her hips letting out a loud satisfying moan as he filled her fully. "Now there's another reason to love lace panties," she teased breathlessly, remaining still to bask in the fact that they were joined. It had been a torturous long few days. Joss set a languid pace. "They set you on fire in all kinds of ways."

His hands lifted from her hips to toy with her nipples as she rolled her hips back and forth. The pace she set allowed him a chance to slip away from the edge he was teetering on. "And you're so damn sexy in lace." he added.

She moaned as she picked up speed. She wanted their joining to last longer but they had the rest of their lives to make sweet and slow love.

John must have had the same idea because he reached under her knees and grabbed her ass and lifted her up, careful to not slide from her tight heat as he stared into her eyes. He set her on her back. "I know how to set you on fire too." he whispered hoarsely before he lifted her and proceeded to fuck her mercilessly.

Joss cried out as his thrusts were hard, fast, and deep. He held her hips tight and steady. Her thigh muscles quivered as she dug the tips of her toes into the mattress trying to move in time with his fast pace. She cried out feeling like she was going to come at any moment as he pulled her on his throbbing dick harder.

He thrust into her with reckless abandon. Need drove him forward as his thrusts became shorter, deeper and, if possible, faster. "I love you," he whispered raggedly as he drove into her again and again.

Joss came with a cry of his name as she grabbed a desperate hold on his hips as she shuddered, clamping down all around him, hoping he'd anchor her as the pleasure stormed her center, skyrocketing everywhere all at once.

He gasped as she clenched down on his rock hard cock as she came and he was helpless to resist his own orgasm as he followed her over; twitching and pulsating as he came, filling her and holding himself deep inside her still as he went boneless. He barely remembered to put a forearm out as he collapsed, so he wouldn't collapse on top of her.

After several minutes of just deep breathing and clinging together, he finally rolled off her and stared up at the ceiling. She flung the panties off the bed before curling into his side, not ready to get up just this second. "I love you too," she said softly as she kissed his chest.

He smiled as his hand began lightly stroking her skin and he shifted his head so he could look down at her. "I like the sound of that," he replied.

She scooted up a little so she could press a sweet open mouth kiss to his lips before snuggling into his embrace once more. Comfortable silence filled the room and his hand that had been on her back was now in her hair stroking.

"Are you okay with me trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life?" she asked after a while.

John's hand that was stroking through her hair paused. "Of course Joss; whatever you decide you want to do I'll support it," he replied and his hand resumed what it had been doing.

She smiled. "Good, because I'm still trying to figure it out," she confessed. Joss didn't know what she wanted to do just yet. She still had a little more soul-searching to do but whatever her future held she wanted it to be shared with this man.

"Look at me," he requested in a soft tone, nearly controlling her gaze. Joss looked up into his eyes. "Whatever makes you happy, Joss, don't settle on something just to have something to do. Find something you love doing."

"I can handle that."

"Now there is something I love doing to you." he said cheekily as he pushed her a little onto her back and settled back on top of her.

Joss feigned a look of annoyance at his lousy seg-way to sex. "Oh there is, is there?" she retorted dryly and reached a hand down between them to wrap it around his semi-hard penis. She smirked as he leaned his head back to moan. "By chance does it have anything to do with this long, large, hard guy?"

He rested his weight on his forearm as he ran a hand down between them and fingered her wet entrance. "Actually it involves this warm and wet pussy and my mouth." he stated touching her sensitive clit and smirked as her hips jerked.

She released him from her grip and he sat back. Joss spread her legs to beckon him. "Well by all means John: if there is something you love doing…I'll support you one hundred and ten percent."

He grinned as he pressed warm little kisses down her body as he went. "Yea, but I think I need a little more practice at it," he teased as he rimmed her belly button with his tongue.

Joss struggled to think so she could come up with something witty to say in response because his breath was washing over her. "You know what they say; practice makes perfect," she managed.

"Oh, I am going to _practice_ making love to you Joss for the rest of my life," he assured as he nibbled on her thigh.

"Sounds perfect John," she whispered. Who knew her life was going to be derailed so vastly that she needed to find a new path, a new direction and ended up finding a man who had all the love to share but just needed a little healing as much as she did?

John's eyes met hers and Joss decided she did believe that she and John were fated to meet in every life. And soon John made thinking about anything at all incomprehensible.

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AN: The next chapter is the final one that I hope will be satisfying(ish) depending on what you guys want to see. I'm gonna be sad to post it to end this.

Thanks for reading!


	22. Epilogue

**_AN: Final chapter :( Happy Epilogue, oh and there is a mini time jump too ;D_**

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 _June 2017_

Joss exited the doctor's office with a spring in her step. She should really have told John or Taylor that she was visiting the doctor today but she didn't want them to get overprotective. Her son and John had become fast friends as she had figured would happen. Taylor did most of the talking but then she had warned her boy that John was more on the quiet side. Except for when the conversation turned to the best football team; the debate over Seattle Seahawks and New York Giants had been illuminating. John and Taylor both had valid points and Joss knew how to rile both her boys up by bringing up the Patriots being better than both teams combined. They sided together to take her on. After her son had left for the evening the sex had been mind-blowing. She snickered as she toyed with the idea of buying John a Brady jersey on his birthday just to get him all angry and argumentative, so she got more of that Earth-shattering sex but ultimately she treated him to dinner and a massage.

She tugged her phone out of her purse and saw she had a text from John asking her where she was. Joss frowned. She texted him the vague answer of: _out, thought you were at MPS_. Joss sighed as she climbed into her car. She thought he was going to be at Machine Protective Services all day and not just the morning.

Her phone buzzed with an incoming text. She looked at it and smiled as she read: _I wanted to have lunch with the most beautiful woman in the world._

Joss leaned her head back. She was the luckiest woman in the world and Felicia reminded her of that again and again. She still remembered the look on Felicia's face when she introduced John to her.

She quickly texted back that she'd be at his place in five minutes, and with that flung her phone back in her purse and turned her car on. John had gotten a place with relative ease; his only problem had been finding a place to rent that allowed pets. It was a nice three bedroom townhome but so unlike the large beautiful home he had up in Meredith. But they had been up at the home in the outskirts of Meredith every weekend the last seven weekends. Each time they left it was harder to go. She realized the last time they drove back to Manhattan that she didn't consider it home anymore; Dracula's castle was her home.

Grace had quickly picked up on it too. That was the last time she agreed to brunch the day after going somewhere. She swore that woman was a mind reader. She claimed it was because she was a people watcher by trade by being an artist, but Joss wasn't convinced.

" _You should tell John…."_

" _Tell John what, Grace?"_

" _That you want to move in together up at his place in Meredith," she explained simply._

" _Excuse me!"_

 _Grace laughed. "It's okay, Joss! As long as I know he's happy up there then I'll be happy. You two and Bear were so excited about going up there, being alone together. Both Harold and I can see it. Besides Harold and I could find a second home up there so we can visit...but not be pesky guests."_

" _No, no…John views this as his home. And so do I," she argued, though halfheartedly._

 _Grace smiled gently. "I think you both want to love it down here because this was what you both considered your home for so long. But I think you two view that place up there where you two fell in love to be your home together."_

 _She exhaled. "What about the firm?—John loves helping people."_

 _Grace nodded. "He does, but John loves you more. I can see it in the way he looks at you."_

" _But he can't work with your husband if we're living up in Meredith. It's a couple hour drive just by expressway one way, that's a long commute. And I'm not taking away what John loves to do," she reasoned._

" _Isn't that up to John to decide what he wants to do?" Grace asked sweetly. "Besides, Harold has made sure John gets the weekends off so I'm sure my wonderful husband will be able to make sure John has a way to do what he loves and be home with the woman he loves. He helps manage the firm by talking to the clients on the phone to make sure he can has the right person to protect them, and he does the hiring and firing. As I see it, what John does for the firm he can do from home or if he's needed at the firm from time to time he can choose the time he comes in. So it's all up to you both to realize what truly makes you happy."_

Joss shook the reverie away as she pulled up in front of John's place. She had been thinking everything over and even talked to her son about the possibility of moving up to Meredith with John, who had been all for it as long as it was what she wanted and what made her happy. Joss thought about it. There was more than enough space for Taylor to come by and visit, or her momma.

She shelved her thoughts as she entered John's place without knocking. She inhaled and sighed as she could smell Thai. "You got Thai?" she called out as she slid the door closed.

"It's your favorite," he replied from the kitchen.

Bear appeared from the kitchen and rushed over to greet her. She smiled as she bent down to rub his head. "Hey Bear," she greeted and let the dog lead the way back to the kitchen. John's townhouse was about three times smaller than his home up in Meredith and it felt constricting.

John turned around and Joss sighed as he stood in a black suit with just a white dress shirt. He looked so good. "I'm still partial to the jeans," she murmured as she strode up to him to kiss him.

He pressed a warm kiss to her lips. "Me too," he murmured before pulling the chair out for her. After she sat down, he sat down too and they talked. "Lionel and Joan are going up to Meredith to clean the house and make sure everything looks good with the grounds this afternoon. Lionel's still grumbling about the flowers and bushes you planted in the front yard."

She snorted. "The front yard needed a face lift," she retorted.

"Yes, as I recall when you dragged me to the closest Lowe's that you were tired of it looking like Dracula's castle," he replied with a half laugh. "But I can't seem to get them to stop worrying about it since I moved back."

She smiled. "John, it's their small way of helping you after you did so much to help them," she explained gently in between bites of the delicious food. "So are we going back up there this weekend?" she asked, trying to keep from hoping he said yes too much.

He looked at her and she thought she saw a happy look before he camouflaged it. "If you want," he offered.

"I definitely want," she agreed.

"Alright, we'll leave Thursday; Harold gave me Friday off as well," he explained.

"Good, that means we leave in two days," she said happily.

Joss froze as she realized how happy she felt knowing they were going back up to Meredith. She looked at John who eating with his own content expression on his handsome face. Were they both just going through pretending to be happy here in Manhattan because they figured the other wanted to stay? She sighed. They needed to talk.

After the delicious lunch she helped throw out the takeout containers and looked at John. "Do you have time before you have to head back to MPS?" she asked.

He smiled wolfishly. "I have enough time," he agreed.

She chuckled, letting him think she meant sex as she tugged him to the cozy little living room and to the very small loveseat that he forced to fit. It sure wasn't as comfy as that super soft sectional he had up at the house but it was alright. She scowled as she was again comparing the two spaces. She was doing it with her own place. John had gotten Bear a new doggie bed so they didn't have to continue to lug his other one back and forth. Even that seemed to pale in comparison because Bear struggled to get comfortable on it.

They sat down. "We need to talk," she murmured.

He bent his head to kiss her neck. "So talk," he purred before pressing a gentle kiss to her jawline.

She groaned. "How am I supposed to concentrate when you're doing that?" she complained mildly as her body melted against his. He chuckled and she pushed him back. "Stop, please, I need to talk to you, it is important," she insisted sternly.

John sighed roughly, realizing she was serious. "Alright, let's talk so I can get back to doing what I was doing before I do have to get back to the firm," he murmured.

"Thank you," she murmured, curling a leg under her and grabbed his right hand in hers. "Are you happy here?" she asked.

John blinked. "What?"

"Are you happy here in Manhattan, John?" she wondered.

"It's where you, our friends, and MPS are," he answered.

Joss frowned. "But are you happy here?" she repeated.

"I just said that I was."

"No, actually you said that it's where I am and Machine Protective Services is. You never said if you were happy here," she explained.

"Wherever you're at; I'm happy," he said simply.

Joss exhaled. "Will you answer the damn question?" she demanded. "Take me, your friends, and your job out of the equation. Does this place make you happy?"

He thinned his lips. He didn't want to answer this. He didn't want to tell her that he didn't like being in Manhattan anymore. He thought it would be an easy transition back but he had been dead wrong. It wasn't. It wasn't his home anymore. John had thought Manhattan and being near Harold and Grace, and his other friends would always feel like home. But he changed. Being up at that place in Meredith with Joss and Bear felt more like home.

"Why does it matter Joss?" he asked trying to stall for time.

He knew his answer would upset her and they were getting along rather well. They had only a handful of arguments; mostly of what they were going to watch, or who got to choose where they wanted to go out to eat, or the occasional argument over her constantly apologizing for still trying to figure out what to do with the rest of her life. John didn't care how long it took for her to find something she loved doing and after their last argument about it, he thought he finally got through to her she could take a day or a lifetime to figure out what she wanted. Although he wondered if she did it on purpose so they'd argue and have makeup sex? He noted that Joss didn't wake up from as many nightmares anymore, so her healing was progressing which made him extremely happy. She had shown some interest in MPS but not as much as Harold had been hoping.

"Because it does, John…."

"My answer will upset you, Joss."

"You not answering me is upsetting me more," she countered angrily.

John exhaled roughly. "I'm unhappy here," he said shortly in anger. "Happy now?"

"Yes, because I'm unhappy here too!" she agreed with a small smile.

John looked at her immediately. "You are?"

"No. At first I thought I was but I realized that I love being up at Dracula's castle," she murmured. "When we decide to go; I'm so happy. And then when the weekend is ending; I dread the drive back."

"Me too," he assured her. She reached out and took his hand and prepared to ask him to think about moving up there, together, permanently, and not like what they were doing right now. They were practically living together but it wasn't official. "Will you move in with me up there?" he asked.

Joss opened her mouth and then snapped it shut. "Hey! I was going to ask that!" she grumbled.

"Then that's a yes?"

She eyed him. "Of course it's a yes, but I was building up to asking you to move in together," she muttered, feeling like he stole her thunder. He smiled as he tugged her forward to kiss her warmly. She sighed into his kiss before he sat back. "Well, that kiss makes up for you literally stealing the words right out of my mouth."

"I should go so I can talk to Harold about this new development but I think he has had a feeling I've been unhappy."

She nodded knowing everything would work itself out. But she did have a piece of news she needed to tell him that kind of coincided with living together. "Actually, do you still have some time before you need to go back?" she asked.

"Sure," he agreed as he settled back on the couch.

"I went to the doctor today."

"Okay…wait, are you alright?" he demanded and she saw concern darken his sexy face. "Is there a complication with your knee or your chest wound?" he asked.

She hurriedly reassured him, "I'm fine, John."

John visibly relaxed. "Okay, but then why did you go to see the doctor then?"

"I wanted to make sure I was physically able to still carry a child," she said softly and waited for him to realize the implication. When he sat there looking at her blankly; she exhaled. "Everything's good with the piping although my doctor did warn me that it might be difficult due to my age, though I'm sure you won't complain how often we might need to have sex," she teased because she was a little anxious. Sure, John stole the words out of her mouth about living together, but that didn't mean he would want a child with her.

John blinked rapidly as he slowly caught up to what she was saying. "What?"

She exhaled. "I've been trying to tell you I want to have a baby with you but you seem to be ignoring my not so subtle hints. John, I finally figured out what I want to do with my time; I want to raise our child." she said bluntly. John sat there and stared at her, stunned and looking like he had stopped breathing. "John, breathe," she counseled.

He swallowed hard. "Uh, could you run that by me again?" he requested, sounding a little choked.

She chuckled. "I want to have a child with you, John. Now preferably since the older I get the harder it will be to conceive and carry to term," she murmured as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. "And I haven't given up on possibly doing that volunteer work you mentioned, but I prefer the job of being a mom again. This time around I'll get to enjoy everything more. With Taylor; after Paul and I split, my son spent more time with my mother than with me because I needed to work for the money to put the food on the table and buy him the things that he needed and he turned into a fine young man. I didn't really think I'd want another child since I raised one all by myself, but I do. I already ran it by Taylor to see his opinion, though he didn't know about the doctor's appointment, and he's excited about the possibility of being an older brother. He wants a little sister but I'm fine with either or as long as the baby is healthy and happy." she rambled on. "And if I can't conceive I wouldn't mind adopting either," she added when John still said nothing. "But if you don't want a child I understand and…"

John leaned forward and kissed her quiet. He had several emotions swirling inside him all at once and he just needed to kiss her. Once he had thoroughly kissed the woman he loved, he sat back to look her deeply into her eyes.

"Joss, are you sure?"

She couldn't hold the stubborn tears at bay. "I have never been as sure about something as I am of this. I have been thinking about this for a couple months now. I want another child and I want to give you a child." she said as she reached out to swipe away a tear that escaped his eyes. "You'll make a wonderful father."

"I thought that was one dream that would never come true for me," he whispered.

"Then say yes; to make both of our dreams come true."

"Yes," he answered.

Joss let out a muffled cry as she surged forward to kiss him so happily. She wrapped her arms around his neck as they kissed before he ended it. "I finally stuck to a New Year's resolution," she murmured with a smile, letting John rub the tears away.

"Oh?" John sounded.

She smiled shyly. "As I was driving up during that blizzard to get to the cabin I decided my New Year's resolution for 2017 was going to be to do something for myself just once. I not only found the man of my dreams but now I'm going to have a child with him. I'd say I'm doing pretty damn good with my resolution."

"I think we both are getting what we wanted. My birthday wish just came true," he admitted.

"And what was it?"

He smiled. "You to find what made you happy," he said simply.

Joss leaned into him, laying her head on his shoulder and Bear decided to hop onto the couch with them, seeing it was a family moment and sprawled out across their laps, on his back. "I love you, John." she whispered as she rubbed Bear's belly.

"I love you too, Joss."

* * *

AN: Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, and what have you. I really do appreciate it and I'm so happy that there are still Careesers out there like me. Elaine, as always, you rock! I really can't do anything without you XOXO. And if you guys can bare the sight of me still I have a few more things coming down the line for these two lovelies.


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